


Until the Flavor's Gone

by kitschypixel



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Meeting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angsty at times, Drag Race Not a Thing, Everyone trying their best but they're not very good at it, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 61,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22844575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitschypixel/pseuds/kitschypixel
Summary: Fiction is just one giant 'what if?'Adore and Bianca are just two drag queens without reality television as platforms. What if they met randomly in New York, had a one night stand, and then complicated things by being friends?
Relationships: Bianca Del Rio/Danny Noriega | Adore Delano
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally transferring this from AQ to here. Slowly. Please be patient with me. This thing is a monster (and still not done. I'm working on that too.) I'll be attaching the original Author's Notes from the beginning of each chapter here. So they're going to sound dated and old, just letting you know.  
Additionally, most of these chapters were not beta'd. Just me trying my best to proof-read with some quick editing.
> 
> Hello! I am new to this fandom and pairing. I honestly didn’t have any intentions of writing anything, if I’m going to be completely honest but! I got these ideas in my head and thought I may as well try to share them with the world. And then I erased all of them, started over, and came up with this. I hope you guys don’t mind an alternate meeting Biadore AU that plays fast and loose with continuity, characterizations, and queen relationships. Sorry this isn’t particularly inspired. Title based off of Chewing Gum by Nina Nesbit, if you’re interested in what I’ve been listening to on repeat lately.

“New York, here we are!”

Danny sighed out an exasperated ‘finally’ as he hit the double bed with a soft thud and buried his face in the 3 star quality hotel pillow. It had been a longer day than had anticipated and he was utterly beat. But, one missed connecting flight and three hours worth playing red tape leap frog with the airline and yes, they were in fact in New York City. Finally.

Jay buzzed around the hotel like a five year old hopped up on gummy bears and Red Bull, dramatically throwing open the curtains with an excited grin. “Hey! The view actually isn’t that bad. Come look!”

“No.”

“Suit yourself… hey!” He trotted to Danny’s bedside and grabbed him by his foot. “Don’t tell me you’re going to sleep! We just got here!”

“It’s late and I’m exhausted.”

“It’s not even midnight and I’m BORED! I feel like we’ve been sitting still forever. Why didn’t you sleep on the plane?”

Danny didn’t get the chance to answer before he was forcibly dragged from his bed. With a groan and a loud protest he stopped himself just before he hit the ground. “Fine! Jesus. God, we need to get you some weed before you fucking spin out of orbit. Fuck.”

“What day is it?”

“Uh… Thursday but only for like… twenty more minutes.”

“Perfect! I know what we can do! Get dressed!”

“How the fuck do you know what to do on a late Thursday night in a city you’ve never been to?”

“I’ve got connections. Now shut up and get dressed! We can’t waste time!”

* * *

Jay’s sudden time inspired epiphany led them to a club. Because of course it did. Small bar with high tables lining a crowded dance floor that surrounded a very small stage. It looked incredibly unremarkable.

“Okay. So we’re here,” Danny quipped. “Why are we here?”

“I told Justin – you know, Alyssa –” Jay ignored Danny’s indignant ‘Christ, of course I fucking know’ with a flick of his wrist, “That if we could, that we’d catch this queen she know’s show. It’s almost 12:30 in the morning on a Friday. So we’re here.”

“So you’ve brought me to a drag show with your sing-song cryptic bullshit. Got it.”

“You wouldn’t agree otherwise!”

Danny just scoffed and rolled his eyes before grabbing the drink he ordered. Honestly, he wouldn’t have minded. He actually didn’t mind. The thing was, he could think of at least four other things he’d rather be doing than hanging around in another club with Jay like they always did, waiting around for another drag queen to lip sync and dance to another rendition of ‘Like a Prayer’. But he was here, and he had a drink now, so he might as well just make the best of it. If this queen was recommended by Alyssa, it should at least be tolerable. Entertaining, even.

They worked their way through the crowd, near the front, and Danny finally got a good look around. It was packed. Not packed as in a lot of people just idling about – but actually packed, near shoulder to shoulder. It took all of his crafty ‘beeline through the crowd’ tricks he’d learned while navigating high school to make it to the edge of the stage with Jay close behind him.

They waited out the low rumble of the people around them, sipping on their drinks before someone tapped Danny on his shoulder.

“You look new here. You been here before?” He barely had a chance to answer before the stranger just laughed, “Deer in headlights look says ‘no’. Brave kid trying to stand in the front row. Good luck!” 

Danny didn’t get a chance to ask him what he meant before the crowd erupted in drunken applause and cheers and jeers as a – and Danny didn’t use this term lightly – presence burst onto the stage.

“Good evening, New York! How the fuck are you?”

He squinted a bit at this petite queen with a lot of lashes and a red carpet ready dress stride across the stage with a wide grin and enough confidence to make that rickety glorified platform look like a gilded stage suited for the grandest theater. 

For a moment, he was stunned.

“Are you all ready for me to be a nasty, hateful cunt tonight?”

The crowd responded with another cheer and Danny shot a look at Jay behind him. This definitely wasn’t going to be another Madonna lip synch, that was for certain. Danny wasn’t sure he was sharp enough for the already barbed wit spouting from those painted lips right now.

“This was a really bad idea.”

Danny didn’t check the volume of his voice as well as he’d thought, because the next thing he knew those dagger sharp eyes had skewered him in place and he froze. Fuck. Two steps and she’d already crossed the short distance of the stage, leaning down slightly with her head cocked to the side. Danny felt panic. He blamed it on the lack of sleep. That had to be it. Danny Noriega did not panic at being singled out by foul mouthed insult comics wearing dresses. It just didn’t happen. Not that he had a lot of experience with that kind of thing up until this very minute, but he’s pretty sure that in the same kind of hypothetical situation, he’d have a better reaction.

“You realize this isn’t television and I can hear you, right?” Danny swallowed the lump that suddenly swelled into his throat before taking a quick swig of his drink and offering no answer. “You know… you do look pretty miserable. Why don’t you join me up here?” The brash loud voice had softened to something higher pitched and honey sweet that was in no way meant to be trusted. Regardless, Danny passed his drink off to Jay wordlessly and followed the queen’s directions to the stairs. “Careful, these stairs are shit. We need to find a dyke to rebuild the fucking thing.” Danny tripped despite the warning, “See?” There was another grin and a low chuckle as a hand settled on Danny’s shoulder. “God, you look like shit. What’s your name?”

“Danny?”

“Is that a question?” Another blinding grin and Danny could swear he could see the sparks in her eyes, “If you can’t answer your own name, then we’re already off to a bad start. Let me rephrase and ask a bit slower… is your name Danny?” He nodded. “Great! Now we’re back on track. And where are you from, Danny?”

“California… I actually just–”

His explanation was cut short as the queen eyed his clothes, “Did you fucking crawl here?” There was a vague hand gesture to the torn jeans, “It’s definitely a look… did you buy those like that or were they worn down eventually?” A short beat of a pause and then, “You know what? I don’t actually want to know. Let’s move on. And what do you do in California, Danny? Aside from suck dick.”

Danny didn’t even have a chance to fully register the jab before huffing out a quick laugh. He felt like he should be quicker. He could take this queen. He thought. Maybe? It took too much effort to try. Instead, he just lamely answered, “Music. I’m a singer.”

“In other words you’re broke and living with your parents. What brings you to New York?” Danny shrugged, shaking his head as he tried to search for words. He wasn’t quick enough (again). “Fascinating. Okay. You were brave enough to get up here and make me look prettier by comparison. How about a shot?”

Someone shouted ‘Going soft, Bianca?’ from the crowd causing the queen to twist her lips into a scowl before smirking. Danny swore he saw a spark fly from her tongue as she shot back just as fast, “Now I am from seeing you.”

That got a genuine laugh from Danny and he wiped his eyes, which were overly inclined to water from his sleep deprivation. Bianca, a name to go with this face, shot him a proud look before squeezing his shoulder. “What do you say about that shot?”

“Sure?” Danny shrugged, his hands fidgeting as Bianca eyed him with another calculating smirk.

“Good enough,” She called over one of the staff and made the order before looking back to him with a hand on her hip. “Now tell me, Danny. This your first time in New York?”

“Yeah, actually…”

“And what have you done so far? See any sights?”

“Um. Nothing, actually. This was our first stop.”

Bianca’s eyebrows shot higher towards her hairline before she cocked her head to the side. “So you’re telling me that you flew in from California and your first stop is here… that’s a new one.”

“We know a queen who recommended your show… Alyssa Edwards?”

“OH! Oh that… oh wow. Okay,” she was cackling now, shaking her head. “You’re here because you know Alyssa…” she clenched her teeth and summoned security from the side of her mouth before waving the comment off, “Kidding. I’m just kidding. That’s hilarious. And thank you God, here’s our shots!” Bianca reached out and took the first shot, handing it off to Danny before taking up her own. “Danny, I’d like to officially welcome you to New York. I have to say you got off easy, which I’d venture is a common problem but this time it worked out in your favor. Now,” she lifted her glass, “Count of three?” She waited for Danny to lift his own, signalling he was ready, “Perfect. 1… 2… 3.”

The alcohol burned going down and Danny couldn’t help but make a bit of a face. He passed his glass off to Bianca who in turn passed them off to the loitering staff worker. “Let’s hear it for Danny!” He was then gently ushered back to the steps and just as he started to step off the stage, Bianca leaned in away from her mic and whispered.

“Talk to me after the show if you can make it to the end.”

It didn’t sound at all suggestive or flirtatious – just sincere – and that got Danny curious, which made the rest of his exhaustion melt away.

* * *

They managed to stay for the rest of Bianca’s set. It made Jay grimace a bit at times, but Danny found it to be hysterical once he got over his foul mood. As two in the morning started to roll in, Bianca bid the thinning crowd adieu before the lights went back up. Just before leaving the stage, she caught Danny and Jay’s attention, signalling to them where to meet her backstage. Danny couldn’t help but notice a few stragglers trying to get a bit more than just her attention.

“Please. I only give to charity once a year and this year isn’t your year. Back up. Don’t touch me. Thank you.” With a huff and a warning glare, Bianca breezed past the two tourists and waved to them, “Follow, you two assholes. Not you,” she pointed to another pair with a scowl before hurrying to the back where there was a small dressing room. She was stopped by a younger de-dragged queen just leaving.

“Another great show, Miss Bianca! Thank you, by the way for that list of movies… I’m almost done with it!”

“Anything to educate the masses. Have a good night,” She sat down at her make-up station and kicked off her shoes before swivelling back to face her two guests. “Okay. So which one of you is another one of Alyssa’s children? She pops you all out so fast that I can’t keep track.”

Jay raised his hand a little timidly. Danny shot him a surprised look a mouthed, ‘this isn’t school’ before reaching over and gently guiding Jay’s hand back down to his side. Jay cleared his throat before answering, “I work for her dance studio… she’s kind of become my mentor and I’ve been wanting to get into drag…”

“So you don’t have anything prepared yet.”

“No ma’am…”

“Ma’am?” Bianca laughed and shook her head as she placed his fingers to her chin, “Please. I’m a man in a fucking wig, not a ma’am. It’s not that serious,” Another sigh, “And that’s fine, wish you luck all the same. Now you,” she pointed to Danny and tilted her chin a few degrees higher. “How long are you in town?”

“Um… until next Saturday… why?”

“Because there’s an open mic night on Monday and I can get you on the list if you’ve got something you can sing.”

Danny blinked a few times to process the offer before he shrugged, “Um… sure!” There was a long pause as Bianca only nodded and started to busy herself with clearing up her station. “But why would you do that?”

“Because Alyssa didn’t just send you here for my benefit and I figure I may as well take the hint and humor the loony bitch,” she paused in what she was doing to write down the details on one of the random business cards that were scattered throughout. “Here. Make sure you’re here by that time and I’ve got the rest. Exit’s the way you came. If those guys are still out there, tell them I left. Or died.”

“Do you always pull in hotties like that?” Jay asked curiously with a bite to his lip as he looked towards the door.

“Never. But it’s late in the week and they’re getting desperate. Enjoy New York.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you guys liked the first chapter enough for me to keep going. If not, that’s cool. I’m going to keep going anyway. In this chapter, Bianca gives make-up advice. I know next to nothing about make-up so hopefully I made it sound convincing anyway.

Jay was hanging off the side of the bed upside down as Danny pulled out just about everything he’d brought to wear on this trip, trying to piece together an appropriate outfit.

“So you are _actually_ going to do this?”

It was a valid question – Danny had changed his mind four times on Saturday alone and then an additional seven times yesterday before talking himself out of it this morning. And then back into it as of an hour ago. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah. I am. I figure if the opportunity is offered, I should just go ahead and take it, right? It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just like any other performance and I should… you know… start somewhere, right? So I’ll just dive in head first…”

“Before you freak out again? You’re going to be _awesome_. You know that song like the back of your hand and it’s going to be fine, honey. Wear the red.”

“I wish I brought a wig with me…”

“No big deal. We’ll beat your face and fix the hair you have on your head. It’ll be fine. Danny!” Jay snapped his fingers. “It’ll be cool!”

“Since when are you the collected one?”

“Since I have to be. When have I ever let you down?” Jay rolled his eyes at Danny’s quipped ‘all the time?’ before he rolled off the bed and to his feet. “Shut up. We’ve got two more hours before we have to be there. We’re gonna get you dressed, we’re gonna make you look gawd damn gor-gee-ous, and that crowd is going to fucking love you. We got this!”

* * *

“I don’t feel like I’ve got this,” Danny muttered as he looked across the crowd. It wasn’t as crowded as it was on Friday, but it was still one of the biggest audiences Danny had seen thus far. But considering that he usually performed in talent shows held on college campuses to a small group of bored students and parents that only cared about their own kids up until tonight? He supposed that was to be expected. A knot of nerves knocked loose from his throat, sunk to the pit of his stomach and nestled itself there uncomfortably, making him feel like he needed to pee.

“Shut up. You totally got this. Don’t you dare open your mouth and start asking me all the things that can go wrong because you know that’s not going to help.”

Danny nodded and swallowed again, trying to still that jittery feeling that he was about to vibrate out of his skin. “Got it. Okay. This won’t be awful. I’m like what? Fifth on the list?”

“Yeah. Which isn’t bad. You can scope out the talent, you don’t have to open the show, and it’s early enough in the night that not everyone will be gone by the time you get on. It’s… actually pretty great. Man. You’d think this Bianca thought about this shit.”

Danny could only shrug, taking a sip of the water in his hands, eyes trained on the stage as he waited. Apparently tonight was one of the few events Bianca didn’t host, so she wasn’t even here for him to thank her. He’d already asked. 

“Hey,” Jay settled a hand on Danny’s shoulder and squeezed. “Take a breath, honey. I’ve never seen you scared of a performance ever in your life – don’t start now. This isn’t a big deal. Just another crowd. You’ve sung in the middle of food courts busier than this. You’ve got me. I’m going to record this for your mom or else she will slaughter me,” he got a laugh and an affirmative ‘she so would’ before continuing on, “You’re as good as you always are, no matter where you are.”

“Your words of wisdom sounds an awful lot like that fortune cookie I got last night.”

“Fuck you. See if I’m ever supportive of you ever again.”

“You’re a star, Jay.”

“No shit.”

They chatted lightly in between performances. Jay made sure to keep Danny laughing the closer his slot approached. The talent ranged from genuine to a very loose definition of the word, and Danny winced at a couple of the sour notes the guy before him hit. He looked around to see the rest of the crowd do the same. Great, he’d have to try to save the atmosphere of the room. As the song came to screeching end, Danny sucked in a breath.

The DJ awkwardly asked the crowd for some noise for the poor tone deaf soul, only to receive a smattering applause and a few boos.

“Oh please,” someone huffed off to Danny’s left, “Don’t encourage him.”

That voice sounded rather familiar but Danny didn’t have a chance to register why before he heard his name. He made his way to the stage and navigated the rickety steps a little bit better than he had his first night. He grabbed the mic and looked to the DJ before timidly requesting which track on the CD he brought. That nervous knot throbbed in panicked reminder when the DJ held up his finger to stall. Great. He felt the heat begin to crawl on his neck and he cleared his throat, deciding to do what he could do best – ramble.

“So… um… hi? I’m Danny… but you knew that… because I was called to the fucking stage. Pretty sure you could make the connection. You’re not that drunk yet, right?” he laughed a little nervously and cleared his throat again. “Um… well. I’m from out of town and… I really hope you like this fucking song… that I’m about to sing… to you… if my CD will fucking play… I haven’t been on a stage like this ever so… this is my first time. Please be gentle… okay? You got it?” The DJ nodded “Okay good…”

He took one last actual breath before the music started. He almost missed his cue with his fidgeting, but recovered with just a small stutter. The first verse was a little rough but once he stumbled through it, he’d regained his feet, his confidence strangling the last bit of nerves just in time for him to belt out the chorus. Everything seemed to melt around him – the hazy club lights, the shadows they cast, the crowd – it all blended together into useless noise as he lost himself in the music, his voice, and how his feet felt on that stage as he began to sway and strut, unable to stay still for much longer.

He’d lost his shirt at some point during the bridge, leaving him in nothing but the white crop top and tattered black jeans. He collected it to the sound of applause after he put the mic back on the stand and bit his lip. “Thank you,” he’d managed to croak out before he bounded off the stage. He nearly tripped on the last step as he flew back to Jay, barrelling into him and laughing with a raucous ‘oh my god!’

“Gurl! You killed it!” Jay squealed and wrapped his arms around his friend in a tight hug. Danny could just grin as he shrugged his shirt back on and huffed a huge sigh of relief.

* * *

An intermission had been called after Danny’s performance. He’d been complimented by a couple of the singers before him and flirted with by some of the audience as smokers and light weights filed out to take advantage of the down time. He felt like he was floating, soaking it all in with a smile plastered on his face until that familiar voice crept back to his ear.

“Not too bad, California. Congrats on your New York debut.”

“Thanks! I almost backed out… but I’m so glad I didn’t!” Danny blurted out as he spun to face the stranger.

“Glad you didn’t. Would have hated to see my efforts go to waste.”

The face with the voice helped everything click. The eyelashes, the heavy liner, the painted lips – all of that was absent – but Danny remembered that voice now. And those dimples. Oh shit…

“Bianca?”

The older man, dressed simply in black with a drink in his hand, nodded with sincerity. “One and the same. Though out of drag, you can call me Roy if you’d prefer.” He held out his hand and Danny took it in a timid handshake, causing the seasoned queen to quirk an eyebrow. “That was really pathetic, but okay…” He nodded to the stage, “Enjoy yourself up there?”

“Oh God, yes. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You _really_ didn’t…”

“Calm down,” Roy held up his hand to cut Danny off, “I just got your name on a list. It’s not brain surgery. It’s fine…” He trailed a bit before he gestured to Danny’s make-up vaguely, “You do that yourself?”

“Um…” Danny felt that blush creeping up again, not quite sure how to answer. Every time he tried his voice hit the brakes at the back of his throat.

“It’s a simple question.”

Jay elbowed Danny lightly in the side before rolling his eyes and answering for him, “I did some of it,” he admitted.

“So which one of you is a bit heavy handed with the contour through here?” Roy gestured to his own cheeks, striking both of the younger queens silent as they both stammered for an answer. “Again, just a simple question.”

Jay swiveled around to take a good look at Adore, chewing on his lip. He hadn’t noticed it before, but it did look really dark. And streaky. “Shit…”

Roy’s voice floated above them and settled flat against the sizzling embarrassment between them both. “It’s not the end of the world. Just work at it. May I?” he stepped forward, setting aside his drink, and took Danny by the chin when the other nodded. His hold was gentle and a bit warm and Danny blinked a few times so he could focus on what the older man was saying while Jay looked on with astute attention, “– cheekbones look like they’re sinking towards his chin, and it should be lighter here and along here,” he jumped a bit as the back of Roy’s fingers brushed across his jawline, “Right now he looks like he’s got a beard which I don’t think you were going for.” He released Danny’s chin and took a step back, reaching back for his drink. “Take what you want from that, but it mostly just comes from practice.”

“Thank you…” they both murmured and Roy turned to Jay in an obvious attempt to soothe the awkwardness his impromptu advice had rustled up.

“I actually don’t think I caught your name the other day…”

“Oh! I’m Jay… and seriously, thank you. I’m just… feeling kind of stupid,” Roy cut him off with a soft ‘don’t’ and a stern look, causing Jay to shift gears to a more positive route, “It’s been… great to meet and talk to you, actually. Alyssa said you were worth the patience… though I don’t know exactly what that means…”

“_I’m_ worth the patience?” Roy wrinkled his nose with a smirk, “That rotted bitch.”

“How do you know Justin anyway?”

“Oh, that,” Roy rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, “That is a story that I don’t have enough time to tell. Nor do I plan on drinking that much tonight, so you’ll just have to ponder that mystery. But…” he checked his phone and hissed through his teeth, “I’ve got to get going. You two enjoy the rest of your stay, okay? If you’ve got time, stop back in. I’m here the rest of the week.”

Roy leaned over the counter and said something inaudible to the bar tender before handing over his glass and then in an instant he was gone, darting out the door with his coat draped over his arm.

Jay and Danny stood still for a moment, loitering a bit before they shrugged, “Should we get going then?” Jay suggested and Danny nodded in agreement. They’d ordered nothing but water, so they simply collected their coats and left to flag down a cab.

* * *

“Man…” Danny was the first to break the silence of their cab ride. There was a long pause as he tried to follow it up with something inspirational. “He really knows his stuff, doesn’t he?” He settled for less inspirational and more of a blatant and slightly lame observation, but at least it was something.

“Yeah,” Jay didn’t linger too much on that subject, only nodding absently. He wrinkled his nose a bit before his eyes widened in a sudden realization before he turned almost full body to face Danny, “You know who he looks like? You know, when he’s out of drag?”

“Who?”

“What’s-his-name that you have a picture of. Only older, obviously, and with dimples. But he looks kind of like him,” Jay elaborated as Danny continued to stare at him with a blank expression, “That guy you liked in high school?”

It hadn’t fully hit Danny until Jay actually said it out loud. “Shit,” he whispered and leaned back in his seat. “He fucking did look like him, didn’t he?”

“Certainly explains the googly eyes you were giving him.”

“What the fuck are you even talking about?” They exchanged looks – Jay rolled his eyes and waved his hands around his face as if that explained everything before Danny just started giggling. “If you think I was crushing on him, then you’ve lost your ever living god damn mind.”

“You were crushing on him. Hard core,” Jay held up a finger, “Do not give me that look that I know you’re going to give me. When he was talking, you were lucky that blush was so heavy so he couldn’t clock the real one you were sporting. Or that dreamy blinky eye flirting you always do.”

“I do not have a dreamy blinky eye thing.”

“Don’t you though? It’s like…” Jay dropped his jaw and widened his eyes so he could properly exaggerate Danny’s expression, “I swear to God you would have jumped him if you weren’t such a chicken shit.”

“_Me?_ Since you’ve known me, when have I ever been shy? Please,” Danny crossed his arms and looked out the window to see the city lights pass. “If I wanted him, I would have tried to cop a feel. And I didn’t. So case closed.”

The conversation was certainly not closed, but was delayed as they paid for their cab ride and headed to their room. It didn’t pick back up again until the elevator door closed and Jay turned back to him.

“You know that’s bullshit. You know that’s total bullshit. You cop feels when you can tell the guy is easy and you can get him right away. When it’s a guy you think you can’t have – that’s when you get nervous and shy like some precious virgin damsel.”

“Totally not true!”

“Abso-fucking-positively true and you know it! Because it’s more than just thinking he’s cute or that he resembles some guy you use to make heart eyes at – you soaked up every word he’s said ever since he called you up on stage. You like him!”

“I don’t even know him!”

“Yeah, but you want to. And what’s more? –” Jay’s voice lowered when the elevator dinged and the doors opened, hunching down slightly as he tried whispered, “You want him to notice you,” he wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulders and squeezed playfully. “You want him to remember who you are and know your name. I bet you were pretty fucking pleased with yourself when he showed up tonight to see you sing.”

Danny’s jaw dropped and his bottom lip curled over the top of his teeth as he tried his best to tame the smile that might ruin his offended expression. He unlocked the hotel room and stormed in, unable to keep his giggles under control as he went into his rampage, “Out of line, man. Out of fucking line! Like… how fucking dare you!” he laughed and tossed a pillow in Jay’s direction. “There is absolutely no way any of what you just said is true! No way!”

Jay deflected the pillow with his palms and snickered behind his knuckles, “Oh really?” he put his hand on his hip as he popped it out before he fell to the bed and spread across it. “So you didn’t think about kissing him _at all_ the entire time he was holding your face and touching your cheeks?”

“No way!”

Jay snorted, “Ye-huh. Okay. Because you were thinking about fucking him, weren’t you?”

“Oh shut up,” Danny hit him with the pillow again.

“Translation? You were,” Jay remarked from behind the pillow before he pushed it aside and turned onto his stomach to look at Danny as he sat on the edge of the bed across from him. “So you gonna try to see him again before we leave?”

Danny shrugged as he absent mindedly started to tug at his right upper eyelash. “I dunno. Would there be any point?”

“You could always try to thank him properly,” Jay pushed his tongue into his cheek in a crude gesture for Danny to scoff at. “Seriously! Why not? He could be into it.”

Danny didn’t fully answer. Instead, he headed towards the bathroom, murmuring about getting ready for some sleep. He flicked on the shamelessly shoddy light to the bathroom before shutting the door. He caught his own reflection in the small mirror and just stared at himself for a moment. He replayed the experienced queen’s tutorial on how to improve his make-up, determined to file it away into his memory properly, and tried desperately to ignore the phantom of warm fingers lightly pressed up on his chin that still lingered.

_If you got time, stop back in. I’m here the rest of the week._

It certainly sounded simple enough. The invitation was out there. And it would be rude, Danny reasoned, not to at least try to comply. This didn’t have to be complicated. It was just making time to stop in for a drink one more time before he headed back home. 

Easy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took a bit longer than the first two because I was busy and it ended up being longer than the first two I think combined. Hopefully it’s worth it. And hey, remember when I said I was playing fast and loose with continuity and queen relationships because this is an AU and I can? You’re about to see an example of that. I debated this and then thought “Imma do it”. 
> 
> Anyway, welcome to chapter three aka that chapter that makes you think “Oh, this wasn’t that much of a slow burn after all” but spoiler alert: it is.
> 
> Warnings include: not-quite-smut with suggested nudity, age gap mentions, crude and very direct language that you’d come to expect from these two, and Danny being insecure as all get out. I think that’s everything?

It took the rest of the week – the day before he and Jay were set to leave on a plane back to their normal lives, to be exact – for Danny to find himself back at that club for that drink he’d promised himself he’d try to grab. It took about an hour of vague and non-committal answers to Jay’s thousands of questions for him to shake the other for the night. Though the suggestive eyebrow waggle Jay shot him as he finally conceded to let Danny go his own direction was probably a bit uncalled for. Maybe. Most likely.

He arrived about an hour early and loitered around the bar, trying his best not to seem obvious or nervous and frankly failing. He kept staring at the stage and fidgeting with his hands and the only reason he even bought a drink to begin with was just to have something to hold. There weren’t very many people yet, most being just bar patrons who kept clustered to the source of their alcohol. 

He sipped at his cocktail absent-mindedly as he rehearsed through what he would say. _Try to be clever, but not too clever! Stay direct. Let him know that you really did appreciate the stage slot and the make-up advice. He’s obviously got his shit together. His act is great, his look is great, his ass looks great out of drag – no! No wait, don’t say that._

Danny sighed heavily into his drink and just stared into his glass as his long ago shelved desire to sleep with an older man started rapping insistently on his consciousness. It’s that fucking smile, he reasoned to himself, as if this attraction could be solely blamed on a perfect set of teeth and brown eyes that Danny could safely drown in, if you could safely drown in anything.

_Shit, I forgot about his eyes…_

He hiccuped at the sudden jump in his heartbeat before he downed the rest of his drink to try to burn away the growing lump in his throat. Instead? He almost choked. He sputtered and fought the urge to cough before he patted down his chest and let out a sigh. _Okay, focus_, he thought to himself, _What are you doing?_

Not that he was given a lot of time to really rethink his whole approach. From the corner of his eye he saw a very familiar hairstyle breeze past him, stopping only when someone approached for some brief small talk before heading back on a narrow path to backstage. He felt himself shift forward and before he knew it, he was caught into a gravitational pull and forced into the orbit of a much bigger undiscovered star. Danny followed obediently, sneaking backstage (which wasn’t hard) and hovering awkwardly in a dressing room full of drag queens preparing for the show.

Bianca was the only one already dressed, having arrived in full drag. _Probably easier,_ Danny reasoned to himself absent-mindedly. He chewed on his lip and paused a moment when he realized now that he was here, he had no idea how to actually approach Bianca without seeming creepy.

“Hey there sweetheart, you look a little lost!”

Danny jumped when he recognized the young queen from the first night at his elbow and beaming at him. He managed a timid ‘hello’ before the queen hyperactively introduced herself.

“Oh don’t be shy! You’re from the other night, aren’t ‘cha? I remember you! I’m Billie Wicked–” she flinched slightly at the snide remark to change that name filtered from behind them before widening her smile and soldiering on, “–what are you doing back here? You’re not a queen, are you? You’d make a good one – oh wait!” Her eyes got wider as she started to shakily connect the dots, “That’s right! You were talking to Bianca the other night!”

“Billie! Down girl, good lord, let him breathe!” Speaking of the devil herself, Bianca sidled up behind Billie and grasped her by the elbows. “Go finish getting ready, okay? I’ll take care of this.” She waited until Billie was mostly out of earshot before blowing out a sigh, “Sorry – she’s not the brightest but she makes up for it with sweetness, bless her sugary and over-accessorized heart. Why are you skulking around here, California?” Danny gently reminded her of his name and Bianca nodded, “Yes, right. Danny. Wasn’t there another with you?”

Danny tackled the easy question first, saying he came alone before he cleared his throat to buy enough time to collect himself, “I was just… I’m leaving New York tomorrow and I had time so I thought I’d come back just to thank you again for what you did…”

“That really wasn’t a problem, but you’re welcome. Thank you for not choking or being awful, otherwise it would have become one. Come on, let me show you back out…”

It must have been that smile again, or the warmth from those fingers on his back that made Danny stand a bit taller as Bianca started to steer him back to the main floor. It could have been the haze from the drink he’d downed earlier settling on his brain that numbed him to his nerves. Whatever it was, something was responsible for the next bit of word vomit Danny spewed and he’d already decided he couldn’t be held accountable.

“Look – “ he spun around to look at Bianca’s face, pushing aside how stunned he was that she managed to make such a clownish approach to her make-up look so appealing, “Seriously, thank you. I’d never been on a stage like that before and it was such a wonderful rush and I’m so thankful that you gave that to me and I just really want you to understand how appreciative I am for that.”

“Believe me, I’m beginning to…”

Danny cut her off before she got too far, leaning in and concentrating hard on keeping his voice steady at a low volume, “I’m super bad at being coy and playing hard to get so I’m just going to be straight up honest with you and hope to god you find that charming…” One deep breath in and spill the truth, “I’ve taken more showers today than I have this entire trip, my ass smells like vanilla or linen or what the fuck ever, and I’m nervous as fuck but I just want to fuck you… or have you fuck me… or just suck your dick… any of it.”

He immediately cringed at how desperate he sounded, coming to a screeching halt and pushing himself away from Bianca as he frantically tried to back pedal, “But you turned down those guys last week and it’s so fucking obvious that you’d do the same to me and I’m realizing really fast that this was a really big fucking mistake…”

Bianca recovered from her initial shock from the very blunt offer before holding up her hands in an attempt to placate the downward spiral that was spinning before her, “Okay, hold up. Calm the fuck down…” a giggle crept into her words, but it didn’t sting Danny’s pride like he thought it should, “I’m honestly flattered. Just… Christ… calm down before you hyperventilate.”

There was another long sigh and two hands gripped Danny’s shoulders as Bianca tried to collect her own thoughts on the matter at hand. She squeezed a little and a few breathy bits of laughter escaped before she smoothed down the shoulders of Danny’s jacket. “I really am flattered,” she nodded down the hallway to the main floor. “Stay for the show, okay? There’s some really talented bitches going on stage tonight so I think it might be worth you coming out here. Maybe I’ll see you after.”

* * *

Danny couldn’t seem to decide if that ‘maybe’ tacked on to Bianca’s parting words was a promise or merely a polite rejection to keep him from suffocating on his own mortification. It was that off-chance glimmer of something resembling hope that kept him from slinking out that door and back to his hotel room to lick his wounds in peace.

So he stayed for the show, keeping towards the back and the alcohol to the minimum. He was glad he did. It was a good show made better by Bianca’s humor and flair, even if it was brutal and scathing. He couldn’t tell if the judgmental bitch act was just that or if it held a grain of truth to it. Maybe it was both, but it managed to make him laugh none the less. He was glad he stayed, he reminded himself.

And when it was over, he was a bit unsure what to do with himself. Did he stay and hope he could talk to Bianca (or Roy, he supposed) again? Or did he just high tail it out of there to try to minimize whatever damage he’d done? He supposed the latter was the safer option, though he still took his time leaving. The sting of rejection brought on by his own stupid mouth lingered a little but it’d be okay, he reasoned. Tomorrow he’d leave and probably never show his face in this entire city again. No big deal.

He was outside trying – and failing – to hail a cab so he could get back to his hotel. He shoved his hands in his pockets with a hefty sigh and prepared himself to just up and walk the six miles back. He needed to try to come up with a less pathetic story to tell Jay when he got back anyway, may as well stall the inevitable.

A hand on his elbow jarred him out of his decision.

“We can share a cab if you’re willing to split the fare.”

Danny turned to see Bianca, still in drag and with a smile. He offered up a sheepish one in return.

“You’d do that?”

“We’d be headed to the same destination, right? Unless you’ve changed your mind…”

“No…”

“Then come on. Before I change mine.”

* * *

The ride to Bianca’s apartment was quiet and Danny decided for once in his life to keep it that way. Meanwhile, his heart thundered in his chest and he tried to hide the obvious red in his cheeks by decisively staring very intently out the window.

They didn’t speak until they crossed that threshold and Danny’s legs were instantly investigated by two very curious balls of fluff.

“Hope you like dogs.”

Danny instantly beamed and began to coo at them, as he crouched down and let them sniff his fingers. “I love dogs. They’re adorable!” He missed the small smile shot in his direction as the two pups instantly approved of his presence. He heard the vague sound of Bianca setting down the clutch she carried and her keys before he was drawn further into the apartment.

“I’m not drunk enough to do this in drag,” the clatter of shoes being kicked off and another sigh, “You’re not in a hurry are you?”

“No. My flight’s not until late tomorrow. I’ve got all night if you do.”

“Convenient and… obnoxiously charming,” that last bit was said with a tone of exasperation that Danny had to fight not to smirk at. He curled his lips over his top teeth and forced his mouth closed before he looked up to see Bianca flick what he assumed was a bathroom light on and disappear before the sound of running water filtered from behind the door. He got up and ventured further, eight paws trotting after him as he took in his surroundings.

It was small, as one would expect a New York apartment would be, but it was organized – every bit of space utilized to its maximum potential. “Wow,” he whispered as he took a step towards the designated sewing area that was shoved in one corner. He busied himself with looking at the sketches and fabric swatches that were spread across the table, staying mindful not to touch out of fear he might upset some sort of delicate balance and throw off whatever meticulous system had been put into place.

He headed back to the hallway, suddenly aware of his thudding heartbeat again when he heard the water still. He swallowed as the door opened and he was faced with Roy, freshly showered, with a very small smile, a towel, and not much else.

“Last chance to back out and spare my feelings,” he quipped as Danny gaped and shook his head.

“I’m good,” Danny managed to breathe out before he leaned forward, cupped Roy’s face in his hands and kissed him.

There was that split second of clarity as something sparked with the initial contact of lips against lips. It was followed by another split second of _What the fuck am I doing?_ before Danny’s inhibitions were thrown to the wayside and completely forgotten. He got lost in a fiery and flurried fierceness that fogged up his cognitive functions faster than any drink or drug could dream. Could you get intoxicated from a kiss of a near stranger? He assumed if that kiss tasted like spearmint mouthwash and a hint of – was that wine? – that it would be entirely possible. Whatever it was shot straight down, coiled tight and made him gasp.

With nothing but the faint glow of the blue-white light of a bathroom vanity to guide them, they travelled the short distance to Roy’s bedroom. They’d stumbled a bit at the door. Danny groaned when his back hit the wood, both sets of hands scrambling to simultaneously rid him of his clothes and turn the handle. He nearly tripped backwards when Roy managed to push it open, narrowly escaping his fall by Roy grabbing his forearm to keep him upright and using that momentum to steer him to the bed. 

Danny vaguely recalled losing his jacket and shirt at some point in the struggle. It was entirely possible that it was his shirt that was the culprit of him nearly colliding with the floor. There was a soft curse when they hit the mattress. He didn’t know who made it or even what it was. He completely forgot exactly when he managed to kick off his jeans. Or if Roy’d just pulled them off. He favored the second option whenever he’d think back on it in the future.

The rest of it, though – he’d remember clear as crystal. 

* * *

It was daylight by the time Danny managed to fully open his eyes and he groaned a little as he pushed himself out of bed. His brain felt blurry from lack of sleep, his body was sore, and his skin felt grimy but a dopey smile still curled at the very edges of his lips as he started to collect his clothes. Last night (or early this morning, however you wanted to look at it) had been pretty fucking good.

He checked the time on his phone as it clattered from his pants pocket before he pulled them on and wandered out to the hallway to gather his shirt and jacket. He sneaked into the bathroom to pee and was able to get a good look at himself.

Essentially, he looked like he’d been thoroughly fucked. His hair was sticking up at awkward angles, there were dark circles under his eyes from the aforementioned minimal sleep, and he sported at least one hickey that he could see near his collarbone. The dopey smile turned into a mischievous smirk. He felt a little satisfied with himself.

And why shouldn’t he? 

Danny just had – maybe not_ mindblowing_ sex – but definitely above the standard sex. Really good sex. His fingers ached a little from gripping the side of the bed kind of sex. So… great sex… with a guy he found to be kind of interesting. And sure, he was about to sneak out of that guy’s apartment and do the walk of shame to the nearest cab back to his hotel room and he was going to be on the literal opposite corner of the country by the end of tonight, but god damn it was worth it. Right?

He turned on the sink and cupped his hands under the trickle of water before splashing his face and trying to get his hair to behave. He sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly before throwing his shirt over shoulders, jacket still in hand before he went on to find exactly where he’d kicked off his shoes.

He ran into Roy instead.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Danny’s eyes flitted over Roy’s figure, his mind’s eye filling in what that black tank top and joggers now covered before he cleared his throat and replied, albeit a little raspy.

“Yeah… I… um… thanks for letting me stay, I was just going to… you know… go. Once I find my shoes…”

“They’re near the door,” Roy offered flatly before he followed Danny down the hall only to detour to the kitchen when he could. Danny sat down on the floor to pull on his sneakers before he stood back up and started to actually button his shirt. Or attempted to.

“Shit…”

It came out a bit louder than he wanted, Roy rounding the corner from his kitchen and shooting a look towards the entryway. “You o–?” he trailed a bit as he raised an eyebrow at Danny’s current dilemma. “Oh.” There was a low snicker that faded off into soundless laughter before he shook his head. “Shit. Damn. I suppose that’s my fault.” He gestured with the coffee cup in his hand to the several missing buttons that made the shirt in question gap in an odd manner. He set the cup aside and held up a finger to delay Danny’s incoming whine. “Hold up, don’t panic. I can fix that easy if you don’t have to be anywhere this instant.”

Danny could only process one thing at a time as he stared down at the missing buttons, “You’re such an asshole…” he managed to squeak out and Roy could only roll his eyes.

“Well aware, and yet I’m going to fix it if you can spare like… an hour, not even that but let’s say an hour just for the hell of it. Can you spare an hour?”

“Yeah…”

“Then quit pouting, shut up, and take off your shirt.” That strange, soothing giggle Danny had heard last night lifted the lilt of the command and helped soften it a little, making it easier for him to comply. He shrugged off his shirt and handed it over to Roy before the other man gestured to the kitchen, “I’m not the type to cook anyone breakfast but I can at least offer coffee if you want it.”

Danny accepted the offer and soon he was settled with a warm mug on Roy’s couch as he watched the other get out a sewing kit and begin to rifle through his stash of notions to find similar enough buttons to at least look passable. Danny brought his knees up to his chest as he watched Roy set to work, tilting his head as he searched for something – anything – to say. He settled on repeating himself.

“Thank you, again… for, you know. Letting me stay here.”

“Not a problem,” Roy’s voice was distant as he worked but he was obviously still listening as he threaded a needle and got to work replacing the – three, he discovered – buttons that had gone missing since last night. “Felt it would be a dick move to let you fend for yourself at four in the morning in a city you don’t live in… and I didn’t have to work at the shop today so I wouldn’t have to kick you out right away anyway.”

“The shop?”

“Costume shop,” Roy lifted his eyes for a second as he answered, another smirk at Danny’s perplexed expression. “Day job. No way I could survive in this city on a drag queen’s salary, let’s be honest here.”

“So wait…” Danny set his coffee aside and shifted forward. “You’re like… a professional when it comes to sewing shit?”

Roy’s laugh was almost shy before he cut it short and nodded, “Yeah,” Danny was beginning to really like that soft smile that did just enough to bring out those indents in his cheeks. Roy flicked his eyes up to Danny once again, pausing to snip the thread before moving on to the next button, his fingers manipulating the needle in a well-practised, fluid motion. “You make it sound like that’s impressive…”

“It is!” Danny beamed, “Holy shit, so do you make all of your dresses then?”

“Most. What I don’t make, I’ve usually altered…”

“Fuck, man. I can’t sew for shit. I can barely hot glue shit together. What kind of stuff do you make at the costume shop?” He quickly clarified when he saw Roy’s eyebrow quirk, quip loaded and ready, “I know costumes, smart ass. But like… for what?”

Roy leaned back as he snipped the thread of the second button before rolling his shoulder and pausing to think, “Bit of everything. I’ve done anything from runway shows to ballet to theater…” He paused again at Danny’s enthusiastic ‘cool’ before he rolled his eyes, but the self-satisfied smirk escaped no one.

“Is that how you got into drag? Making costumes and stuff?”

“Sort of? Not really a remarkable story behind that. Something I kind of picked up and never could seem to put down again… now it’s just an extra source of income.”

“Damn. How long have you done it?”

Roy paused in thought and exhaled slowly, “Since I was twenty so… fifteen…ish… almost sixteen years?”

And there it was – a number placed on the age gap that Danny was aware of, maybe even craving a little. It made it supremely real as opposed to some sort of spectre that floated in the back of Danny’s mind. And it was weird. Not the age gap itself, but how little he thought of it. Should he be bothered? Did it even matter? Sitting on this guy’s couch, sipping the coffee he’d offered, and watching him replace the buttons he’d torn off late last night (early this morning), Danny figured it really didn’t. He pressed his lips together and sucked in a breath, ready to blurt something out when he realized he’d let the silence run into awkward lengths.

Roy beat him to it.

“What about you?”

“Me what?”

Roy shrugged one shoulder and waved a little towards Danny in a vague gesture as he paused in his task, “How long have you done it?”

“What? Drag? Oh…” Danny slumped further into the corner of the couch and cleared his throat, “No, that’s… that’s mostly Jay’s thing…” That was technically true. It was very much Jay’s thing. “I let him paint my face sometimes for practice and we were trying to kill time so…” Now it was starting to meander into ‘fibbing’ territory. For a mental check list worth of reasons, he wasn’t compelled to tell Roy about the polish remover queen Adore Delano he had residing in his closet. “He wouldn’t shut up about how you helped him, though.” And there was the flat out lie.

The seasoned queen raised an eyebrow and looked at Danny with scepticism before he slowly drawled, “Let me see if I got this right…” He deliberately slowed his work on the final button, drawing it out for as long as he could. “Jay’s the baby queen who takes you to shows and you’re the supportive friend who just so happens to reap the benefits of Jay having a somewhat memorable drag mother?”

“You never did explain how you and Alyssa know each other…”

“And you’re avoiding the question.”

“You said my singing wasn’t that big of a deal…”

“No. Getting you on that stage wasn’t that big of a deal_ to me_. You singing in front of that crowd was very much a big deal _to you_, you made that plainly obvious,” Roy clarified, gesturing between the two of them and obviously alluding to the events of the night before (very early morning). He plucked the last stray thread from Danny’s shirt and tossed it over to him. “Try that. They should be even.”

“You’re a fucking miracle worker.”

“Far from,” He leaned back in his seat and watched Danny carefully as the other pulled his shirt onto his shoulders and started to button it from the bottom upwards. “Are you going to answer my question or not?”

Danny stood and tugged the edges of his shirt to check that the buttons were in fact even, “I don’t see why it matters.”

“Just humor me.”

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before he shrugged, “Jay didn’t have any drag with him and I didn’t need drag to get up there…”

“So you do have drag…”

“I… no?”

“Convincing,” Roy leaned forward and looked Danny up and down in a way that made him fidget. He was calculating something in his head – and it was making Danny feel rather uneasy. Not so much like he was prey – that would turn him on a little bit, if he was to be completely honest – more like he was a puzzle. For some reason, that was worse. “How’d you and Jay meet?”

_Shit_. Danny squared his shoulders and drew himself up to his full height before he picked his coffee mug back up to take one last swig and looked down at Roy from over his nose. “None of your fucking business.”

There was a hint of a smirk before Roy stood with his hands held up in surrender. “Fine. I’ll drop the subject – but for the record? I think ‘Adore’ fits you better than ‘Violet’.”

“I…” Danny stood stock still as all the air left his body like he’d been kicked in the ribs. His mouth gaped as he floundered for some kind of comeback but could only stammer out a very high pitched “…how?” 

That smirk turned triumphant as Roy walked over to take the empty coffee mug from Danny’s slacking grip. “You know the modern world is fantastic? If person A wants to contact person B… there’s countless of ways to do it just from the palm of your hand.” He held up his phone and Danny groaned in response, sinking back down to the couch.

“You talked to Alyssa…”

“I sent him a text after you two stopped by the first time to make sure you were the real deal. He told me your drag names – couldn’t remember which one you were using so he gave me both,” Roy spoke over the running water as he rinsed out the mug and started to clean the few dishes that had piled up the last couple of days. “So you wanna try this conversation again?”

“Not really…” Danny shrugged on his jacket that he’d abandoned in the entryway, his face bright red from embarrassment – nope – more like that pesky mortification rearing its ugly head again. “It was nice meeting you,” he gritted out before checking his pockets to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything and then heading out the door.

* * *

He got to the top of the stairs before Roy caught up with him. He didn’t get a chance to speak before Danny cut him off. “Anyone tell you that you’re a fucking asshole?”

  
“All the fucking time, but shit… I fixed your shirt after ripping it off your body last night and get elevated to Annie Sullivan levels of sainthood but catching you in a lie completely strips me back to asshole territory? That makes sense.”

“God!” Danny snarled a little, “I can’t believe I fucking had sex with you!”

“Right, like I had a gun to your head. Now can you stop being angry with me for maybe… thirty seconds and explain to me why you’re pissed?”

“I’m not pissed!” Danny made a mental note to reel in the volume back down to a reasonable indoor voice, “I’m just… fucking embarrassed.”

“Of what, exactly?”

“You wouldn’t understand…”

“Try me, bitch.”

They stood on the landing in silence as Danny wrapped his arms around himself and held on tight as he backed himself up into a corner quite literally. He willed himself to calm down and breathe before sighing through his nose and looking down at his shoes. Roy remained the pillar of calm in front of him, which only proved to make the shame burn a bit faster. He unfolded his arms and rubbed his temples before he closed his eyes tightly and gestured vaguely in Roy’s direction.

“Fucking… look at you, man,” he opened his eyes but kept his focus on the other’s shoes. “You’ve got it all figured out. The look, the act, you make your own shit, your make-up’s exactly what it needs to be… while I’ve got a couple of shake-and-go wigs, dresses I bought at the mall, and just figured out how to glue my eyelashes on two months ago. Queens at home don’t take me seriously for shit… and… I dunno. I just didn’t feel like getting read by the guy I just hooked up with.”

“Okay… back up,” Danny lifted his eyes when he saw Roy beckon with his fingers, “Look at me. Let’s start this over again and I think maybe we can get on the same page here… when… exactly… did you start doing drag?”

Danny twisted his mouth as he tried to calculate it in his head, “I dunno… kinda blurs together… I guess I started doing the full drag thing in clubs and shit maybe… four or five months ago?”

“Okay… five months? Meet fifteen fucking years. _Of course_ you don’t have shit figured out.”

“Not making me feel any better…”

“Then let me try again,” Roy took Danny be the forearms and tried to catch his eyes that kept flicking down to the floor. “Look at me, seriously. You’ve got a lot of talent and a lot of guts and that’s a better start than most. Wigs and clothes and make-up? That all gets better in time – but don’t let your confidence get shot down just because you’re not there yet, _because you will get there_. Got it?”

It was a very soft and comforting sentiment coming from the bitch he’d watched read a set of queens to filth on stage not even twelve hours ago. Danny wasn’t exactly sure how to reply as he, again, felt that age gap prying them apart. He wanted a casual fuck with an older guy, he reminded himself, that warmed feeling at the bottom of his heart didn’t settle well for the circumstances. So he did what he always did when he wasn’t ready to think about something – he made it into a joke.

“Ever consider writing inspirational greeting cards? Because that was pretty good…”

“You know what? Fuck you,” Roy broke into a cackle before he reached up and pushed Danny’s hair from his face. “Are we good, then?”

“Yeah, we’re good… but why did it matter?”

“What matter?”

“Me leaving mad at you?”

Roy pressed the tip of his tongue on the inside of his bottom lip before he released it with a light ‘click’ and pushed himself away. The genuine sincerity was wiped clean in an instant and that impish spark that seared through anything in its path on stage returned with a vengeance. “Because I learned awhile back to never let a hook up leave angry unless you want to battle malicious rumors about your dick size. I have a reputation to uphold,” he turned on his heel and waved Danny to follow him, “Come on, I’ll get you a cab.”

“You know, your dick isn’t _that_ impressive,” Danny began as they both trotted down the rest of the stairs.

“Don’t fucking start with more lies, cunt.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks guys for all your kind words after the last installment, I’m a feedback whore. This chapter is a bit shorter to kind of tie up this portion of the time line. Who’s ready for some morning after best friend gossip?

Jay was waiting in the hotel lobby with their bags clustered around him. He looked up from his phone when he heard Danny take a seat next to him with a loud sigh.

“Bitch!” Jay reached out and slapped Danny playfully on the knee with a wide grin, “I was beginning to think I’d have to start worrying about you.” With little fanfare he reached out and tugged at the collar of Danny’s shirt to catch a glimpse of the love bite on his neck, despite Danny’s half-hearted protests, “I fucking knew it, slut.”

“Yes, you’re a fucking genius,” Danny muttered before he stretched. The thrill of the morning had worn down to nothing and it left him feeling sour, sore, and exhausted. He needed real food and more caffeine stat. He stretched before he winced and began rubbing his temples as a headache started to pound on the inside of his skull. “Are we checked out?” he slurred as he tried to slow down the freight train of aches and pains that was rolling over his body at break neck speed. Jay nodded, “Then can we find somewhere with breakfast? And coffee?”

Jay shrugged. “Fine,” he posed on the chair, pointing his finger directly in Danny’s face, “But you’re giving me details.”

“Deal.”

* * *

They’d found a diner after arguing over what constituted as ‘breakfast’ and took over one of the corner booths to essentially set up camp until they absolutely had to get to the airport. Jay at least had the decency to wait until Danny was half way through his (technically) second cup of coffee before he began to grill him.

“So was this,” he gestured to Danny’s appearance, “_him_ or did you just find a decent substitute? I’m going to guess the first one with how long you were gone this morning.” Danny rolled his eyes before setting aside his coffee and sighing, though he did a poor job at hiding that small blissful smile and Jay caught on it immediately. “It totally was! Okay, so spill. How was it?”

“It was…” Danny stalled as he thought back to the ‘it’ in question and tried to think up the proper adjective. Rough, maybe a little rushed (but not really in a bad way? Was that possible?), very intense (so very possible), and honestly pretty impressive given the late hour and how tired they both had to have been. He didn’t say any of those things, though. Instead, he tried to school the goofy smile he could feel tugging at the corners of his lips and settled on a simple: “… _really_ good.”

“Oh come on,” Jay groaned, “That’s it? You were gone for like… twelve hours and all you got is ‘really good’ sex?” Danny laughed at his exaggerated use of air quotes before pressing his lips tightly together as the waiter brought their breakfast to them. He snorted at the raised eyebrow and approving nod he earned before the waiter asked if they needed anything else and then retreated from their table when they both declined. They both poked at their food a little before Jay finally leaned forward again, “Okay, but be real. Like… can you give me a scale or something?”

“Well…” Danny took a bite of pancake before dousing it with more syrup and then leaned forward, allowing his chewing to buy him a bit more time. “It wasn’t like… the _best_ sex I’ve ever had but… I mean… it was almost three in the fucking morning by the time we got to his place and he showered and everything so…”

“So you didn’t do it while he was in drag?”

“Oh shit, no…” Danny pulled a bit of a face before laughing again, “God, no. I mean… I guess I wouldn’t minded but… no. He showered and we fucked and he let me stay after because of how late it was…and that was pretty much it. I got like… maybe three or four hours of sleep? I dunno. But it wasn’t like anything overly special.”

“So what took you so long to get back then?” Jay prodded, chewing his own food.

“Oh that,” Danny took another swig of his freshly refilled coffee. “Well… um…” he ran his hand through his hair before he shifted forward, “In our… enthusiasm… to get rid of my clothes, I kind of lost a couple of buttons? So he replaced them… did you know he’s a professional costume maker? Like, can you fucking believe that?”

Jay shook his head and held up both hands, “Hold up. You’re telling me he literally tore the clothes off of your body and you’re acting like it was just okay sex…”

“I _said_ it was really good. That’s better than ‘okay’.”

“Yeah, whatever. You’re not telling me something. I asked details. Why aren’t you giving them up? You are never this tight lipped about much of anything...” Danny just shrugged and Jay stared at him with skeptical expression before he took up his fork again and pointed it in Danny’s direction. “Okay. Either the sex was really awful and you’re covering for him… or…” Jay took a jab at a piece of Danny’s pancakes and dragged it to his own plate. “It was fucking amazing and you’re downplaying it because you don’t want to get attached to a guy long distance.”

It was really obnoxious how perceptive Jay could be once you put him on a trail. He could draw things into perspective that Danny wasn’t always ready to see. Like right now. And it usually stunned him into silence. Like. Right. Now.

_He’d stopped Roy before he went back up to his apartment, borrowed a pen from the cab driver, and wrote his number on the back of Roy’s hand. If you’re ever on the West Coast or… want to talk… or whatever. I dunno. He’d kissed the older man before he could get too far in his tangent – something soft and sweet and very intimate to be sharing with a one night stand on the curb of New York City. He’d pulled back quickly with an abrupt ‘goodbye’ and got into the cab. He remembered Roy closing the door behind him. He forced himself not to think too long about the last three minutes as he watched Roy disappear into his building from the rear window as the cab pulled into slow moving traffic._

But it was no use. He was thinking about it now. Here in a diner, chatting with his best friend over greasy breakfast food and strong coffee – he was thinking about it now.

He opened his mouth to try to deflect any kind of suspicion towards either of the options. But between trying to tell his heart not to beat too fast and trying to keep his best poker face, he completely failed. Jay suddenly sat up straight and become very alert with a near panicked expression “Oh my god, Danny. What did you do?”

“What makes you think I did anything?” Danny floundered, but he knew the octave change in his speaking voice had given him away. Jay had the decency to just stare at him in amusement (after his initial laughter had died down, of course) until Danny finally caved. “Fine! I sorta… gave him my number before I left…” he slumped and ran his fingers through his hair, “Is that fucking crazy?”

Jay let out a low whistle before he shook his head, “Damn, dude… you’re crushing harder than I thought…”

“Shut up.”

“No, seriously, just… fucking listen for a second because I’m about to lay down some wisdom,” Jay jabbed his fork in Danny’s direction again before pushing his plate aside. “Admit it. The only thing stopping you from saying that was the best sex you ever had is because by the end of tonight, we’re back in LA and he’s over 2000 miles away. You’re trying not to get attached but too fucking late, man…”

“Or _maybe_…” Danny held up a finger as he interrupted that line of thought, “And I want you to really think about this… it wasn’t the best sex of my life, it was just really good sex for three in the morning and I was just praising to whatever thing up above that he was even able to get it up long enough for it to be worth anything.”

Jay blinked a few times before he leaned back in the booth, his arms going lifeless beside him. “Oh girl… honey… you getting that defensive then there’s no fucking hope. You’re smitten.”

“I’m not ‘smitten’. ‘Smitten’ is a really strong word.”

“Which is why I used it…oh sweetheart…” Jay was beginning to exhaust his list of generic pet names and it was making Danny grind his teeth a bit. He watched as his friend leaned forward and whispered as if he was about to unleash some great, unspoken secret. “Listen. It fucking makes sense. He’s a somewhat attractive,” Jay gave a ‘sorta’ gesture with his fingers and a pensive twist to his lips when Danny repeated ‘somewhat’ back to him. They sat, silently at war on this issue for about four minutes before Jay finally saw fit to adjust it, “Mostly attractive. Can you deal with mostly?” He waited for Danny’s approval before rolling his eyes and continuing, “Thank Jesus. Anyway… He’s a mostly attractive, older and successful guy who took an interest in you. You’ve never had that. It’s not a surprise you’d want to keep that around.”

“Except I’ve only known him for less than a day and we live on opposite sides of the country.”

“So there’s some technicalities to work out if you two end up together…”

“We’re not going to end up together, Jay.”

Jay made a show at rolling his eyes and leaning back against the booth with an exasperated sigh as if Danny was refusing to see his vision of the world. Which was kind of what was happening, but only because what Jay was suggesting was crazy. “What-ev-er,” he drew out each syllable with a sigh before Danny tried to reel the conversation back to his original question.

“So you don’t think it was weird? Like… clingy?”

“What? Giving him your number?” Jay shrugged a shoulder, “I guess that depends. I assume you talked while he fixed your ripped up clothing.”

“Oh god, please don’t to bring that up.”

“Bring up what? The ripping of the clothes? It’s like the juiciest detail I’ve got from this whole thing, don’t take that away from me!”

“No, I mean… that conversation was a whole… thing…” Danny shifted a little in the booth so he could bring his feet up onto the seat and look out the diner window. “Like… it started out normal enough. I found out about his day job, how long he’s done drag… that kind of thing… then he asked about _my_ drag.”

“Oh boy…”

“I tried lying to him, but apparently he’d already talked to Alyssa, so he already knew and then I freaked out on him and it was really just stupid and embarrassing.”

“So why’d you try to lie to him?”

Danny groaned a bit, “Come on, Jay. Seriously? You fucking saw his show. He’s been doing drag for _fifteen fucking years_, girl. Fifteen years! There’s queens back home who’ve been doing it for two that look at me like I’m garbage. I had to go cross country and call in a favor from _your_ drag mom that I didn’t even know I _had_ just so I could perform in front of a crowd. You really think he’d want anything to do with me if he saw Adore on that stage and not Danny?”

Jay blinked a few times and shrugged a bit, “Well, if that’s the case, then what compelled you to give him your number to begin with?”

Danny opened his mouth to answer and then paused for the umpteenth time that morning. He drummed the fingers of his left hand against his knee while his right played with hair as he rolled Roy’s words of encouragement in his brain. “Because…” he stalled so he could plan this out meticulously without sounding like an awe-struck teenager. “I told him that. The whole not being accepted thing and all that and… he was actually really cool about it. He gave me something to think about… and made me feel better.”

From the look on Jay’s face, Danny knew he’d failed on the whole ‘don’t sound like an awe-struck teenager’ thing and he was about to dismiss the entire subject when Jay finally said:

“Then you’re not crazy.”

“Wait… you think?”

“Yeah! Listen… okay? He coulda laughed in your face or shrugged it off entirely and he didn’t. You being you? That leaves a big impression.”

“Me being… well, thanks a lot, bitch.”

“You know what I mean! You tend to be a bit fragile… don’t try to deny it, you know it’s fucking true.”

“Hi Pot, my name is Kettle.”

“Shut up. Bottom line? You gave him your number. The ball’s in his court to do with it what he wants. If he text’s you back? Great. I’m happy for you. If he doesn’t? Then he wasn’t worth your time and he can get dick punched by a gorilla with metal fists.”

And as if the cosmos – or God or Karma or whatever it is in the universe that makes great things, or at least uncanny coincidences happen – was listening, Danny’s phone chimed with an unrecognizable number. They both just stared at it like it had spontaneously combusted and was just burning a small fire in front of them. Danny felt his heart jump high into his throat before it dropped straight down to his feet like a rickety carnival ride that he didn’t remember getting on. Jay swatted his hand.

“Check if it’s him!”

Danny hissed an irritated ‘alright!’ before snatching his phone and unlocking the screen. He took a few deep breaths and a few extra seconds to prepare himself for disappointment.

When he clicked on the little speech bubble notification – it turned out the panic had been unnecessary.

_Talking or whatever works for me. If I’m ever around LA, I’ll let you know. – Roy._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So at this point in the story I’d like to point out two things. First? I’m horrible when it comes to executing research so that means a lot of vague references to places that are specifically no where because I’ve never been to the West Coast ever. You’ll see what I mean as the story progresses, I’m sure. Secondly, and I’m sure you picked up on this already, but pronouns and names are subject to change whether the person is in or out of drag. I’m just mentioning this now because it’s particularly relevant in this chapter. In other words, I would like to introduce y’all to Courtney in this story. I love Courtney to bits and I’m just going to cross my fingers and pray to whatever drag deity is up there that I’ve done her some justice. Otherwise, I will cry. A lot.
> 
> In summary, Danny is back home and is trying to get back into the swing of real life. Usual language warnings apply. Additional warning for the amount of embarrassed Danny. I’m so sorry.

Getting back to normal life after spending a week living out of a suitcase in a different city was always more of an adjustment than Danny anticipated. Coming back from New York was no different.

He never fully unpacked, his clothes only gradually being removed as needed. His suitcase migrated from a corner to his room, to the middle of the floor, to open and against the wall, and now resided awkwardly at the end of his bed where he’d trip over it and yet, hadn’t moved it. But at least it was at the foot of his bed in his room and he could enjoy the comforts of both instead of a stiff double bed in a tiny hotel room with a malfunctioning television.

Two weeks after he got back, Danny was finally washing the last bit of clothes from his suitcase – a pair of jeans, a black tee shirt, a sweater he didn’t remember ever wearing, and the plaid shirt. He hovered it over the washer before he tossed it in, only to pull it back out again and press it to his face. Any kind of smell resembling any portion of Roy or anything connected to him had been thoroughly snuffed out by the shirt’s continued mingling with other pieces of clothing and honestly, Danny couldn’t even remember what Roy or his apartment or anything else related to New York in general actually smelled like because that would be a tad excessive. But still, for the sake of sentiment, maybe, he took a whiff. And was disappointed.

The shirt was dropped back into the washer and began its return to the normal circulation of Danny’s wardrobe.

He padded back to his room and belly flopped onto his bed, laying there for a long moment before he dug his phone out from where it resided near his pillow. One missed text message from Jay telling him to call ASAP because exciting news.

Nothing from Roy, but that wasn’t really that surprising. Danny took a quick check of the time. It was 2-ish PM on a Friday, so Roy was probably on his way home to get ready for a show. He might get a brief message in twenty minutes or so, if he was going to text at all today. Which he had since the initial swapping of numbers. Sometimes it was a constant stream of back and forth, and sometimes (usually on weekdays) it was just a quick check in – if anything at all.

Danny would scroll back and forth through the text log sometimes without really reading it, and he found himself doing it unconsciously before his phone buzzed to life. Whatever exciting news Jay had to tell him wasn’t going to wait for his convenience.

“I was just going to call you,” Danny quipped and grinned.

“You’re lying but I don’t have time to give you shit about it. I’m on my way over to your house.”

“What? Why?”

“Because bitch, I’m going to perform tonight!”

Danny sprang up to his knees, his grin breaking into a full on smile, “Are you fucking serious? That’s awesome! How’d you manage that?”

“I’ve got ways. You need to help me pick out something to wear. Will you come with me? Emotional support and shit?”

“Sure! Wait…” Danny bit at his lip and cringed a little, “Do you know who’s going to be there?”

“Umm… I think Detox and maybe Mayhem…? Oh, but Courtney will be there, I know that!”

Danny sighed a bit in relief. Queens he could stand, at least. Not that there were many that he couldn’t stand, to be honest. He just would have to grit his teeth a bit harder around some as opposed to others.

“Then I’ll definitely be there.”

* * *

Danny dressed as Danny that night, not wanting to steal any of Jay’s – or in this case, Laganja Estranja’s – thunder in any way. Jay assured him that it wasn’t necessary, but he felt he should extend the courtesy none the less. Just in case.

He was leaning against one of the make-up tables, chatting with Jay as the other started to glue down his eyebrows when an over zealous “thwack” against the table beside him startled him to attention.

“Holy fuck!” Danny clutched his chest and willed his heartbeat back down to a normal rate before he shot a glance at the grinning perpetrator. “If I die, you realize you’re at fault.”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic. If you die it’s from clogged arteries, not me.” The Australian accent rolled off with a sigh and a bright smile, “So, come on! I haven’t seen you since you got back. Now tell me… how was New York?”

Courtney Act, bless her brutally kind heart, took a seat next to Danny and folded her hands, making a show at giving Danny her utmost attention. She was good at that, after all. The whole making it look like she was absolutely focused on listening to you was a natural gift. Mostly because she actually was absolutely focused on listening to you when she was willing and able.

Danny shrugged one shoulder and bit his bottom lip as he thought of how to begin. “It was actually really great. I feel like we didn’t see enough of it though… like, there’s just so much!”

“Oh, I think _you_ saw plenty,” Jay quipped with a grin before screeching as Danny gently hit his elbow, dotting his forehead with eyeliner, “Slut!” He weakly retaliated with a stripe of black liner down Danny’s knuckles before going back to his make-up.

Danny had a fleeting hope that Courtney would let the passing comment slide but knew it was all in vain when he heard the inquisitive “oooooh…?” He had the decency to clear his throat and blush a little when he turned his attention back to the blonde.

“You got some out of town action? How’d that happen?”

“Look, it’s really not that big of a deal…” Danny began, trying to smooth over the whole situation with nonchalance without giving up details. Not that he regretted what happened. He didn’t. He just didn’t feel like divulging the events of that evening to a somewhat crowded dressing room right now. With the way Courtney was eyeing him and nodding he knew he could at least delay the inevitable.

“Danny hooked up with an older queen ~and liked it~”

Danny also forgot to murder Jay and silence that stupid sing-song voice of his before starting the whole conversation. He wouldn’t be making that mistake again.

Now he didn’t just have Courtney’s attention, who was immediately perked to fifty times more interested than she was already, but had also caught the wandering ear of a nearby Detox.

“Did I just hear that Adore Delano had her first kai kai?”

Danny cupped his hands over his face and groaned loudly as he tried to reel in the whole situation before it spiraled further out of his control. “Again, like I said… it _wasn’t_ that big of a deal,” he made sure to stress that last part with a snarl as he glared at Jay in a silent command to keep his mouth shut. The other queen just snickered gleefully in response.

That didn’t stop either Detox or Courtney from squealing excitedly as Detox reached out to bring Danny’s face to her chest, “Oh, our baby is growing up so fast!” she mock sniffled and patted Danny’s back before pushing him back and looking at him up and down, “Okay, talk bitch. Who was it, how was it, and how many inches? Details, now.”

Courtney tugged on Detox’s sleeve as she stood up, obviously trying to grill Danny just as effectively as their sister. “Laganja said an older queen, right? How many older New York queens can you think of?”

“Guys, please…”

Danny was trying to backtrack as fast as he could, heart hammering the whole way through. Jay was now completely useless, distracted by his phone ringing, so it was up to Danny to somehow throw both Courtney and Detox off his scent and honestly? He didn’t know if he had the strength.

In the ruckus of the new challenge, Jay’s conversation went virtually unnoticed up until he happily chirped a “Thanks!” Jay beamed before shooting a side eye to Danny. _Bitch, don’t you fucking dare_. “Oh, and Mama… before you go… thanks so much for suggesting Bianca’s show. She actually was super helpful!”

The sudden stillness in their immediate area made Danny’s hair raise on end and all he could do was stand there and wait for the lightning to strike and claim what was left of his filthy filthy soul. 

Jay – now 3/4 of the way to Laganja – abandoned his routine to turn around and face the other three queens fully and simply watch the whole thing unfold. Meanwhile, both Courtney and Detox just stared at Danny in what he assumed was a mix of shock, amusement, and was that even a little bit of awe? And then Danny – beet red, quivering Danny – began to mentally check off how many ways he could potentially hide Jay’s body and not get caught. There weren’t enough, so he just settled on glaring daggers at his supposed friend and hoped it was effective, even if it wasn’t the least bit satisfying.

Courtney was the first to speak. “Well, I was going to ask if you got the whole Bianca del Rio package but from the sounds of it, Danny actually _did_ get the _whole_ Bianca del Rio package.”

Danny pressed his palms into his eye sockets with a groan as the attempt in humor only proved to throw sizzling oil onto his humiliation. “Great,” he dropped his hands and looked upwards, “Now that we got that out of the way… can we move on?”

He had a feeling that Courtney would have obliged, but Detox and Jay (still caught in weird Laganja/Jay limbo) weren’t quite as forgiving.

“Oh no. Hold up. I have _way_ too many questions for this to be dropped. Starting with length, girth, and any visible blemishes,” Detox counted off each qualifier with a finger and Jay raised both of his hands.

“And it’s been a week since you promised details and I still only know about the torn shirt.”

“There’s a _torn shirt_?”

Any hopes of Danny getting out of this now were completely shredded and thrown to the small pack of wolves at his feet. Well, fine. If whatever was left of his dignity was going to die in this dressing room, he may as well just grab a shovel and help bury it.

“Okay…” he drew out the two syllables for as long as he could until his voice crackled and he cleared his throat. “First, I’m going to have to ask… how do you two know who Bianca is?”

Detox scoffed and pointed to Courtney, “I don’t know her that well. I only met her once. But this bitch has known her for a couple years, now.”

“We met through a super off Broadway production I was doing before I moved to the States and became friends. I heard you two went to see her show from Alyssa and I was going to ask you about it, but I definitely have to say this has taken a very surprising turn…”

“Quit stalling and tell us what happened!”

“Fine!” Danny huffed before he started smoothing back his hair and fiddling with it uselessly. “So practically the second we got to the hotel room, Ganj had to drag me to this show Alyssa had suggested. I got asked on stage, she found out why we were there, and after the show hooked me up with a spot on open mic night.”

“Classic Bianca move,” Courtney injected before pointing at Danny, “Sorry. Continue.”

“Anyway. I almost backed out of it but I decided to go ahead and do it and it was fucking amazing and God, I would kill to get in front of a crowd like that again…” Danny trailed in his story as he thought back to how it felt to sing on that rickety stage back in that dark club for the applause of strangers. He sucked in a breath and sighed when he realized Detox was trying to wave him along. “So after it was over, there was this guy and it turned out it was Bianca out of drag…”

“Okay. Now I’m starting to get it… continue. Again. Sorry.”

“He gave us make-up advice and invited us back if we had time and well…” Danny cringed a little as he tried to think about how to explain the events that led up to the night in question without giving away exactly how it happened. “I ended up going back by myself… but only because I really wanted to thank him for what he did!”

“Oh, that’s definitely a way to thank someone…”

Danny slouched and leaned his head back against the mirror before filling his cheeks with air and slowly letting it out like a deflating balloon. “And like I said… it wasn’t a big deal…” He held up a finger before Jay could even speak, “And don’t you fucking dare start with me again.”

Detox looked between the younger queens before rolling her eyes and snapping her fingers, “Okay, that’s a great prologue and everything but that doesn’t answer any of my questions.”

“What do you want me to tell you? He took me back to his place, showered, and then literally tore my clothes off before fucking me with his massive dick?”

“It’s definitely a _start_.”

“Well, that’s all I got.”

Courtney held up both her hands, “Okay pause! One moment here… Danny… clear something up for me. Are you… _ashamed_ you slept with Bianca?”

The question hit Danny like ice water and he stared at Courtney in abject horror before shaking his head and backing up fast, “What? No! No no no no no…” he added appropriate hand gestures to drive home his point. “That’s not… no. No! Fuck no.”

“Okay! Okay… I was just… I was just checking. Because you know that you shouldn’t, right? I mean…”

“Listen, I liked it. Okay? I… _really_ liked it. Maybe too much and that’s stupid because he’s literally on the other side of the country and I barely know him...” Danny paused a second as he tried to steer his rambling back to the point, “It was really good sex, I just…” Another unnecessary hair flip before Danny just pushed it back from his face and pressed his fingers into his scalp. “Look, Ganj. Good luck tonight, okay? I’m going out there, getting a drink, and cheering for you.”

They watched as Danny fled with watery eyes and blotchy cheeks, and Jay, now fully Laganja, turned to look at Detox and Courtney. “Do you see what I’m talking about?”

The other queens nodded in agreement and Courtney mused quietly, almost to herself. “Yeah… I definitely do see...”

* * *

Courtney found the quietest part of the club she could – tucked away in a corner near one of the emergency exits, where the music wasn’t quite as loud as it was everywhere else, in a narrow hallway where it was harder for people to comfortably congregate. She pulled out her phone and hit the call button, trying to do the time conversion while the phone rang.

“Who is this?” The slurred response answered on the fifth ring and Courtney leaned back against the wall and sucked in a breath.

“Hey, it’s Court…”

“How many times do we have to discuss time zones before you understand…”

“Shut up, don’t act like you were sleeping. You probably just got home,” there was an annoyed grunt in confirmation before Courtney continued, “I’ve got some questions… first being are you too drunk to talk?”

“If I say yes, does that mean I get to hang up?”

“Not really.”

“Fine. Then, no. I’m not. What’s up?”

Courtney bit her lip as she thought of the best way to approach this – from the sound of Roy’s voice, it was obvious that he had been drinking a bit heavier than usual, probably due to the weekend. But, he was still coherent enough to remain sarcastic and speak in structured sentences, so that was a good sign. Prime level of drunkenness for her to get the answers she was looking for.

“Second question then – I’ve been trying to convince you that you need to get laid for weeks – weeks – so explain why you failed to mention that you shared a night with a young tourist a couple weeks ago?”

There was a cackle, though it was hoarse and a bit weak, it still resounded in the phone before there was a beat of silence. Roy didn’t answer immediately, prompting Courtney to add, “I’m just concerned for your well being…”

“Concerned or just a nosy cunt?”

“Does it have to be exclusively one or the other?”

“I suppose not. Whatever. I didn’t mention it because it’s really none of your business. Got any more questions for me, Nancy Drew?”

Courtney was pacing the width of the narrow hallway as she racked her brain to try to figure out how to breech the next line of questioning. There were a couple of false starts before finally, after her fifth spiral from wall to the other, she finally blurted out, “How drunk were you when you took Adore home with you?”

There was an achingly long pause on the other end and Courtney began to think maybe Roy just dismissed the question all together before finally, and quite slowly, he answered.

“I think… nope… No, I know… I only had two glasses of wine that night and I didn’t even finish the second one. Which was a fucking waste.”

So, in other words, on an appropriate curve to accommodate Bianca del Rio’s level of alcohol tolerance – he was practically sober that night. Which could only mean… “So you must of actually really liked Adore – or Danny, I guess? I know her as Adore mostly…”

“Picked up on that …” There was a sigh and a sound of rustling as Roy was obviously settling himself into bed when it became clear that this conversation wasn’t going to be quick, “Was there concern that I didn’t like him?”

“Maybe a little… Danny… doesn’t really strike me as your type?”

“I have a type now?”

“I actually don’t know if you do… do you?” Courtney took a moment and quickly gathered her train of thought before Roy could even think to answer, “Doesn’t matter right now, I suppose.”

“This phone call have a point coming up or…?”

Courtney took advantage of Roy’s pause to start pacing again and digest this new information and try to match it with what she already knew: First being Jay had been concerned with some of Danny’s behavior after they got home but wouldn’t specify what or why, until tonight when they all got to see it for themselves. Secondly, it was most definitely quite clear that Danny harbored some strong admiration towards Roy, and the obvious source of the strange behavior was his reluctance to admit it. Then finally, this newest bit – Roy seemed to, at the very least, be attracted to Danny, which was promising.

But also a bit troubling.

Which brought Courtney straight to the point of her phone call.

“Look – it’s not my place to say this but…”

“You’re going to tell me anyway…”

“Shut up for a second – It’s not my place but whatever happened between you and Danny has really thrown him for a loop… and he won’t talk about it and I know you don’t know him that well but just trust me when I say that is weird for him…” She plowed right over Roy’s slightly confused ‘okay’ and continued on, “I just need you to be aware of the situation, that’s all.”

“Right… you’re doing a really bad job of that because I’m still not sure what’s going on.”

“Yes you do, you idiot,” Courtney chided gently, “Believe it or not, because I have trouble remembering this myself, you can be super charming sometimes when you put your mind to it.”

“Okay, wait… now I think I’m catching up… hold on…” there was some more shuffling noises and a soft swear before a clatter and the finally Roy resumed, “I can’t tell you everything that’s going on between me and Danny because I don’t fully know myself but I’m definitely interested in something... just not sure what.”

“Going… going on? As in present tense?”

“We’ve been texting. Now before you start, I’m fucking tired. Are you going to give me the ‘if you hurt my child, I’ll kill you’ speech or not?”

“Adore is not my daughter. Adopted sibling maybe but I’m not old enough to be a mother, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Courtney brushed a strand of hair from her face as gracefully as she could. The effect was lost over the phone, of course, but she still felt obligated. “But in all seriousness… be careful with him, okay?”

“I’m concerned what you think I would _do_.”

“Well, from the sounds of it you’ve done plenty already… oh! Last question – what’s this about a torn shirt?”

“Okay. I’m hanging up now. You want details about my sex life? You can ask me when I’m sober and less likely to answer you. Good night.”

“Damn it!”

* * *

Danny was standing near the bar. In a pocket of isolation, he could stand against the wall, drink his drink, and still have a good view of the stage while he wallowed in the faintly burning embers of his humiliation from earlier that night. He almost didn’t notice Courtney step up next to him. At least that’s what he’d insist on later, anyway.

“I just got off the phone with Roy…”

“Great. How about we not talk about it?”

“He seems to like you…”

Danny did his best to keep himself slouched over but Courtney still caught the way he raised his shoulders a little and his chest swelled a little when he held his breath for a few seconds longer than he should. He tried to smooth it over with a shoulder shrug as he swirled what was left of his drink in his glass. “Doesn’t matter…” he lied.

Courtney decided that Danny had enough humiliation for the night and didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she tried to patch up the damage done by the train wreck interrogation from earlier. “Look, I’m sorry if we… well… me, specifically… I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. It wasn’t so much shock that you’d want to sleep with Bianca… Roy can be very handsome and very endearing off stage… I was mostly just surprised he’d sleep with you…” She hissed through her teeth the second the words left her lips and eyes widened at the obvious hurt that crossed Danny’s face at the implication. “Not! Like that… don’t take it like that. Oh boy…” She chewed her lip to try to get her point across a bit more gently and eloquently, “Okay… let me… back up a little. In the couple of years I’ve known Roy, I can see a lot of him in the Bianca persona he puts on stage. He’s crass and honest and sometimes it’s hard to handle…”

She sucked in a breath and searched to the heavens for all the hope that she could properly explain what she felt she needed to. “But… he’s also very genuine and helpful, with a lot of advice about a lot of things and he’s willing to share that with you as long as you’re willing to listen and pay attention…” She folded her hands behind her and shot another glance to Danny to see if he was still going to give her the time of day. So far, he hadn’t brushed her off. So she continued. “So getting you on stage, sharing make-up advice? That’s Roy. That’s just how he is. He’d do that for anyone… but… taking you home with him when he’s not almost wasted? That’s unusual… not impossible… just unusual.”

Courtney hesitated again and Danny looked at her, perplexed but still patient, obviously trying to figure out the destination of this haphazard conversation. “So… when I say he seems to like you…” Courtney verbally ventured forward, “That isn’t something I’m saying lightly or saying to just make you feel better… it’s an honest observation.” Courtney bit her lip and waited for Danny to reply. When he didn’t, she prodded lightly, “Am I making sense?”

“Kind of,” Danny swirled his drink again before he sucked in a breath and just focused on the ripples that broke the surface before he tipped his head back and downed the rest of it in one gulp. He made a face and swallowed before looking down at the bottom of his glass and clearing his throat. “So… you’re saying… that I’m not just another fuck to him.”

“I think the fact that you two are still in contact should have answered that already…” Another bit lip as Courtney pondered whether she could get away with this next question. She asked anyway, desperate to finally put this whole insanity to rest, “…is that what got you so rattled?”

“No. Not really.”

“Can I ask what it is then?”

And again, Danny was quiet – staring straight ahead now as he watched the stage. He realized now that he’d missed more than half of Laganja’s performance and failing as a supportive friend. He delayed his answer to cheer as Laganja did a death drop on stage for a half interested audience and shouted a little encouragement when the response was only a few degrees above lukewarm. He grinned as he saw dollar bills raise in the air before turning back to Courtney, only to have his face fall at the still sombre expression she wore as she waited for him to answer.

He could only shrug.

“You know what? I have absolutely no idea.”

It was another lie. The only problem was Courtney knew it, but Danny didn’t.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! Wow, guys. I’m so super flattered that you all have been hanging on and interested to this fic so far. Especially since this is actually turning into a bit of a slower burn than I intended. I hope you guys don’t mind. I really don’t know if my usual writing standards quite hold up for this chapter (but I thought that with the last chapter too so… what can you do?) Sorry if this is a disappointment.
> 
> In this installment, Courtney goes overboard to play matchmaker, Adore goes on another trip, and I think I may have fucked up my own timeline but I just really wanted to write this. So I mathed and tried to fix it (I wrote it down this time so I wouldn’t keep getting mixed up and confused). I think it still works? Maybe. I dunno. Numbers.
> 
> Language warnings and some flirting leading to some almost very close-to smut! Hurrah! 
> 
> Additional note: The brief description of Danny’s discomfort in wearing drag for an extended period of time is based solely on my experience in cosplaying. I don’t know if it’s accurate, but what is? Okay, stop talking, start storying.

Waking up in New Orleans wasn’t exactly what Danny expected to be doing seventy-two hours ago, and yet? Here he was, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as a pile of clothes were being dumped onto him.

“Rise and shine!” Shane chirped excitedly, completely ignoring Danny’s squeaky protests. “We need to get up and get ready if we’re going to make it.” He shoved a water bottle in Danny’s hands. “Drink. Get hydrated and get _up_.”

“Make it where?” Danny groaned as he unearthed himself from what apparently was almost all of Courtney Act’s wardrobe upended onto his bed.

“You’ll seeeee…” The overly chipper inflection in Shane’s voice should have set off warning bells, and yet? It managed to fly right under Danny’s still not fully awake radar.

“Fuck man, did you bring every single thing you own?”

“No. This isn’t even half of it. Now go on. Get up! Clean yourself up and we can figure out what you’re going to wear!”

Danny complied, albeit with an eye roll and a sour mood. A few days ago, Shane approached Danny with the crazy idea of a road trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Apparently it was a trip he’d been planning for months, but his nameless travel companion had backed out. Why Shane asked _him_ on this To Wong Foo-esque excursion (without the getting stranded part) hadn’t been discussed (and neither had been how late they’d be arriving for the festivities), but since he wouldn’t have to pay a dime and Shane offered him his own room – well, how was he supposed to say no?

After showering the grime of travelling in a car for two and a half (very nearly three) days and brushing his teeth, Danny wandered back out to sit on the small office chair and watched as Shane sifted through his belongings. “How did you get in here?”

Shane snapped his fingers like he nearly forgot and tossed the hotel room key to Danny. “Careful who you trust that with, the world is full of weirdos.” 

“Pretty sure this room is full of them… how’d you even get this?”

The energetic Aussie put his fingers to his lips to shush Danny before he held up two dresses, similar in length, but different in color. “Which one?”

Danny pointed to the iridescent blue as he sipped at his water. “That one.”

“Oh, good choice!” Shane tossed it to Danny and the other blinked in surprise.

“What? No. Are you joking? This isn’t going to fucking fit me…”

“It most definitely will. I’ve got an eye for that kind of thing. Go put it on.”

Danny held the dress out in front of him and shook his head. “No fucking way. There’s no way!”

“Just do as I ask! Go on, shoo!” he gestured with his hands as he spoke, directing Danny back to the bathroom. “I wanna see!”

Shane bit his lip and craned his neck as he started to get his own outfit together for the day, calling out to Danny, “So have you talked to Bianca… or I guess… Roy lately?” he prodded gently, trying to sound as natural as possible.

“Not lately, but he gets busy sometimes. So it’s not a big deal…” Danny rounded the corner in the dress, struggling with the zipper in the back, “Why?” he raised an eyebrow at Shane’s sudden curiosity in the topic. It wasn’t exactly unusual. Shane had checked in on their conversations in the past – but it was usually while Danny was texting with Roy, so it never went unprompted.

Shane shuffled over to help Danny zip the dress the rest of the way, shrugging as he replied, “Oh, just asking. You haven’t talked about him lately so I thought I’d ask…”

“You make it sound like I talk about him all the time…” Danny paused as Shane turned him towards the hotel mirror. “I look weird.”

“You look gorgeous, for one. We can figure out a way to grunge it up a little if you’d prefer, but you look _really_ nice… and two…” Shane began rifling through the duffle bag that Danny had brought all his drag in, as requested. “You actually _do_ talk about him often and that’s perfectly fine… ugh, do you wash these tights?” Danny snickered out a ‘no’ and Shane wrinkled his nose, “Whatever. Okay, these shoes and this jacket… now go!” Shane shoved the items in Danny’s hands and shooed him away again before sitting on the bed and waiting for him to come back out again. “Give me a second and I can help you with your make-up.”

“Bitch, you’re not touching my face. I can get that on my own. Now can you like… go away for six seconds? Jeez…”

Shane shrugged and waited impatiently for Danny to come back out of the bathroom. When he wasn’t quick enough, Shane counted to ten and then got up to lean against the doorway, watching as Danny started to turn himself into the rebel princess he’d crafted over the past year, the shoes and jacket on the counter beside him. “Can I ask what’s going on between you two?”

“Between who? Me and Roy?” Danny leaned close to the mirror, half distracted by what he was doing. “We’re long distance friends who text when we can…”

“Is that all?”

Danny paused in what he was doing and set aside his eyeliner. He turned and faced the still hovering queen who did his best to feign innocence as he seemed to pry at Danny’s social life a little bit more insistently than usual. “Yes? Is there something else we should be?” He leaned one hand on the counter and watched as Shane did a very poor job at covering up that telling grin by chewing on his lip. Danny sighed heavily as he finally caught onto where this was headed, “Why are you asking about it?”

“Okay, don’t get mad but… let’s say a little bird told me that you haven’t had sex since your trip to New York…”

Danny sucked a long breath through his nose and flicked his eyes upwards. “I’m going to fucking kill, Jay…” he growled as he tossed his eyeliner down against the sink, just for the satisfaction of throwing something against something else. It was enough.

“Now, don’t get mad at Jay! He was just… sharing… some personal information that you’d given him in confidence… okay, I know that sounds bad but he really just had the best intentions!”

“You are fucking kidding me… who else knows?” Danny glared when Shane pulled a panicked face and shrugged, “I swear to fucking God…”

“I don’t know! Me, I know… and Detox… and Jasmine… maybe Raven and Alyssa…?” With each added name, Danny groaned a little louder. “It really isn’t that big of a deal, Danny! It’s okay! We just… all kind of figured that maybe you and Bianca were a bit more serious than you were letting on…”

“He’s across the country, with a work schedule that makes me exhausted. Not exactly prime boyfriend material…” Danny sighed as he picked back up where he left off. “Besides… it’s not like we have a lot in common.”

“Then how do you two still talk to each other on a regular basis?”

“I…” Danny stopped again before huffing out another sigh. “I don’t know. Can we just pretend I have a good answer to that one and just move the fuck on?”

“Whatever!” Shane threw up his hands and wandered off while Danny finished getting ready, holding out a wig as he exited the bathroom. “This one,” he insisted before he wandered to the bathroom to get ready himself. Danny took the long black wig and flipped it over onto his head, smoothing it out the best he could with his fingers. He took a step back and stared at the fully realized Adore staring back at him in that short borrowed dress that glittered in a deep, rich-looking peacock blue. 

With a playful cock to her hip she skipped back to the bathroom where she’d left the jacket and shoes. Placing both hands on either side of the doorway, she leaned forward slightly and watched as Shane began his own transformation. They stayed like that in silence for several minutes before Shane finally spoke up again. “So why has it been so long, if you don’t mind me asking? If you and Bianca aren’t anything serious, then what’s up?”

Adore shrugged a shoulder and flicked her eyes up into a random corner of the room. “I dunno. Dry spell, I guess?”

“A year long dry spell?”

“It hasn’t been a full year…”

“Close enough. But seriously. Just disinterest or what?”

“I guess? I dunno…” Adore blinked a few times and focused back on Shane, frowning a bit. “You’re trying to get me to talk about New York again, aren’t you?”

“Again. It’s been close to a year and you still haven’t said anything more than ‘massive dick’ and a torn shirt. That, coupled with the fact that you haven’t had sex since? I mean… come on. Excuse me for being curious…”

Adore just snorted before she perched herself onto the back of the toilet and started to absent mindedly chew on her nails. Shane started to impatiently hop up and down in place as Adore continued to stay quiet on the whole matter.

“Oh, come on!”

“Nope.”

“You tell me about the guy who fell asleep on you mid-fellatio but you can’t tell me about this.”

“I’m sorry!” Adore laughed as Shane, now several steps closer to Courtney, groaned and headed back into the room to finish getting dressed. Adore hopped down and followed. “Have you ever just had a guy that you just… you wanted to keep to yourself?” She sighed as she sat down on the bed and started to pick at the mound of clothes spread across it. “Look,” she began when Courtney quipped a short ‘no’, “I can’t explain it. I really can’t. I don’t know fucking why I can’t. I just…” she added a shrug as if that was supposed to put the whole topic to rest.

It was obvious from Courtney’s face that it didn’t do much of anything other than frustrate her. But she relented none the less, “Fine. Fine. Keep your magic New York night to yourself if you wanna be selfish. We’re in New Orleans. It’s Mardi Gras and I,” she gestured to herself with a flourish, “Am going to end that ‘dry spell’ of yours.”

* * *

“Holy fucking fuck in a fucking shit basket…”

The string of expletives weren’t from the crowd on Bourbon Street or Adore being crammed into the crowd on Bourbon Street in daytime drag with Courtney being shoved into her side. It had everything to do with seeing Bianca del fucking Rio on that stage, looking like some classic Hollywood showgirl in red and suddenly – _suddenly_ – everything about this trip snapped into focus so fast it felt like vertigo on solid ground.

The vague story about the trip, the timing of it all, the borrowed dress, the overly helpful Courtney and her incredibly curious questions…

It was so fast that she couldn’t even get mad about it (at first). All she could do was stare, fixated, on the vulgar bundle of energy shouting obscenities, casting shade, and doing it perfectly in sequins, feathers and high heels._ God dammit, those legs…_

When she finally caught her breath, she pinched the underside of Courtney’s arm. _Hard_. And the Aussie beside her yelped, only to be met with a glare. The spell of shock had dissipated and now there was the anger. Courtney rubbed her arm and shot Adore a sheepish look.

“You wouldn’t have come along if you knew…” She flailed and wrapped her arms around Adore’s waist to keep her still. “And I don’t understand why! That’s why I keep asking about New York. You talk to him constantly and yet we all knew that if you were handed the chance to see him again, you’d pass it up!”

“You all knew?_ You all knew?_” Adore hissed. “You didn’t even _try_ to ask! I’m not mad that I drove a fucking thousand miles with you on this trip because he’s here – I’m mad that you fucking _tricked_ me into doing it! And what? It’s a conspiracy now?”

“Well… I kind of needed a little help with planning everything…”

“Are you joking? What kind of nightmare made for TV romcom special is this?”

“Look. I said I would end your dry spell, didn’t I?” She gestured to the stage, “There’s the solution! One way or another!” She tightened her hold and looked up at Adore with a plea and a strained smile, “Please, Adore. Don’t leave. At least… she’s right there. We can catch up to her when she leaves the stage. At least say hi. That won’t kill you, right?”

Adore prepared herself to argue but got sidetracked by Bianca and her co-host laughing a particularly poorly done costume off the stage and something about it – seeing her in her element, dominating the atmosphere, and just doing her job – seemed to soothe the salted wounds of this particular brand of betrayal (and maybe it was a bit harsh to call it a betrayal, but god dammit). Her whole body relaxed from the tense battle ready (or fleeing, it could have been fleeing) stance it had taken and she nodded. “Fine,” she conceded. “Fine, I’ll at least say hello to him… but only because he’s here.”

And she kind of wanted to, but she wasn’t about to admit that out loud.

* * *

If it weren’t for the number of people stopping Bianca for a photo or a compliment or a declaration of love, Adore and Courtney would have easily lost her once the crowd began to disperse. But they got lucky and Courtney’s very loud ‘Oi! Pussy face!’ over the din caught Bianca off guard long enough for them to close the distance. Courtney jogged up first and Bianca beamed.

“Holy shit!” She reached out for a quick hug, and stared in disbelief as if Courtney was just some delusion she’d conjured up one day that suddenly sprang to life. “You’re fucking kidding me. You didn’t mention…”

“I brought you a belated birthday gift,” Courtney gestured behind her just as Adore came into view. “Or early birthday gift, however you want to look at it.”

Adore didn’t quite know how to interpret the change of Bianca’s smile at seeing her. That wide grin dropped, those painted lips parted for just a moment (shock, maybe?) and was followed by what could only be described as an appreciative smirk. “I see…” She coyly cocked her head to the side and for a minute, Adore hated her for it. She bit her lip in anticipation as Bianca said in a voice too high pitched to be sincere, “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

That cackle broke out in waves as Adore rolled her eyes and she was brought into a good, firm hug. “Oh God, what the fuck are you two even doing here?”

“Looking for boys,” Courtney piped up, “Which I’ve found. They’re over there, so I’m going to go – bye!” She retreated quickly before either of them could protest. Bianca shook her head as they both watched the bubbly blond disappear from their sight.

“That fucking shady cunt,” she murmured before turning to face Adore. “So I take it this is the Adore Delano you were so afraid to let me see?”

Adore offered a tight lipped smile and a shrug, “One and the same, I guess. But before you rip me apart, I just want to say you look like a bedazzled chicken right now…”

The jab earned her a laugh, which helped her heart slow down from the rampaging rhythm it was pounding before and she let a genuine smile break through. Her eyes darted downwards as she fought to keep her hands to her sides, fisting the shimmery fabric in her fingers before releasing it and smoothing it back in place.

“Look who’s on the defensive,” Bianca shot back before she reached out and pushed a few strands of wig fibre from Adore’s cheek. “And you look fine, if it weren’t for this sad looking wig. Dear Christ, do you own a brush?” Her fingers lingered as she felt Adore lean a bit into the touch before she dropped her hand and sighed. “Come on, walk with me. I can’t stay in one place too long or else people will start to swarm. Besides, I have to make an appearance. This way.”

“You’re like… a local celebrity…” Adore didn’t mean to sound so impressed, but she did and she was. There was a life that rippled off of Bianca like waves hitting sand, that pulled back and beckoned Adore to follow. She’d seen it before when they first met, but here it seemed to be stronger, more potent, and more likely to try to drown her.

“Celebrity is a strong word… I just made sure my name got around.”

Adore trailed back when Bianca was stopped for a picture and then picked back up again once thank you’s were exchanged. “Really? Because it’s looking like ‘celebrity’ is the right kind of word to me…”

Bianca sighed out a laugh and shook her head, “I worked in this city for a long time, that’s all. I’m not famous, I’m just familiar.”

Their paces slowed and their hands nudged together, but neither seemed brave enough to lock fingers. Instead, Adore cleared her throat and took a slight step to the side and concentrated very hard on walking straight. She blinked a few times when she realized that Bianca was still talking to her, “What?” She turned her head a bit fast, sucking in a breath when she realized how close Bianca had leaned in and choked out a “I’m sorry…”

“I asked when you got here…” Bianca clarified, taking a step back and curling her hands into fists, taking a moment to smile and nod at someone yelling ‘hello’ to her.

“Oh!” Adore shrugged and started to fiddle with the ends of her wig, wrapping a strand around her finger, “Late last night. This was all Courtney’s brilliant idea…”

“Of course it was,” Bianca flashed a smile that made Adore’s stomach do – maybe not a full flip, but at least an enthusiastic flutter. “Have you ever been?” Bianca tipped her chin up as Adore shook her head and sighed, eyes looking upwards as she was obviously trying to figure something out. “Listen, I’d hate for you to wander around by yourself, but I can’t exactly promise to show you the full New Orleans experience while I’m dressed like this. I technically still have a couple of things I need to do…”

Adore snorted, “God, do you ever get off?” The words slipped out before Adore had a chance to run them through what thin filter she had. If she had, she was certain it wouldn’t have sounded… quite like that. She sucked in a breath as she tried to think of a way to salvage the statement gracefully but could only squeak out, “Work, I mean… you always seem to be working.”

Bianca nodded, “Yeah, I knew what you meant,” though there was a spark in her eyes that said something else that made Adore’s insides warm. “And you wouldn’t be wrong,” she added. “But…” she trailed a bit as she seemed to gather up her thoughts and then pointed towards Adore. “How about this… you text me where you’re staying and I can meet up with you in about three hours…?”

Adore nodded and chewed on her lip, trying to not seem so eager to accept the invitation. “Yeah, sure… I would…” she hesitated to say ‘love’ and settled on the lesser, “really like that…”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

* * *

After Bianca separated herself from Adore, the younger queen wasn’t exactly sure what to do with herself. Courtney had abandoned her, with the best of intentions Adore knew, but the fact remained that she was officially on her own. Besides, she didn’t want to end up a third wheel with whoever Courtney had planned to occupy her time with when she was obviously trying to stay out of Bianca and Adore’s way.

Maybe it wasn’t the most thoroughly planned out matchmaking attempt, but bless her for trying.

Finding her way back to the hotel wasn’t hard, but she took her time. By the time she got back, her head was pounding, her mouth was dry and her feet throbbed – walking around in drag on minimal sleep early in the day had caught up with her quickly and minor discomfort was amplified by exhaustion and slight dehydration.

She stopped at the edge of her bed and stared at the mound of clothes that were still there before shoving them off to one side. She unpinned her wig and tossed it and the cap onto the dresser, before grabbing the bottle of water she’d abandoned earlier in the day and taking a swig. The shoes, tights, and jacket came next after she pulled off her eyelashes and fell back into bed.

It hadn’t been Danny’s intention to fall asleep, to be honest, and he hadn’t fully realized he’d done it until he heard a knock on his door. Jerking awake and groaning softly, he stumbled a bit out of bed, adjusting his skirt on his way. He assumed it was Courtney coming to check on him.

He’d assumed wrong.

He leaned against the door and just stared at Roy, who was looking back at him with a critical eye with that eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Wow,” he quipped and tilted his head, “You look pretty.”

“Fuck you,” Danny shot back as he turned to retreat back into his hotel room. Roy followed.

“No, seriously. I’m feeling so special to even be in the presence of such radiance…” He snorted when he saw the mess of clothes on the bed, “Wow. This got better…”

“Shut up. This is Courtney’s fault. I take no responsibility. Also? I just woke up so… I dunno… fuck you again.” Danny sluggishly began to gather up the clothes and pile them onto the arm chair nearby just so they were a bit more contained. He gulped at the sound of Roy’s chuckle behind him and he slid back down onto the bed. “Sorry. Give me a minute… I’m still waking up.”

“Take your time.”

Danny stared up at the ceiling before focusing back to Roy and pushing himself back up onto his elbows. “You can sit, you know. You don’t have to stand there like an asshole.” He rolled his eyes as Roy gestured to the armchair full of clothes, “Fuck’s sake…” he scooted over to one side of the bed and patted the other. It didn’t take much arm twisting for Roy to relent and sit down next to him, resting his back on the headboard.

They stayed like that for about a minute or two, but it felt like time was crawling. Danny could smell Roy, who’d clearly showered shortly before arriving, and he had to mentally remind himself not to press his face into his thigh. He rubbed at his eyes, smudging up his make-up more than it already was, as he tried to steer his mind away from the warmth that radiated next to him.

“So did you have another show or something?” He needed a safe topic and work always seemed safe with Roy. There was a sigh and another smile as Roy shrugged.

“Sort of. I had a couple of dicks I needed to suck so I could come back next year.”

Danny snorted out a laugh before he grinned up at the man beside him, “Spit or swallow?”

Roy rolled his eyes. He dropped a pillow onto Danny’s face before snickering and answering anyway, though vaguely, “It depends.”

Danny pulled the pillow off his face and wrapped his arms around it as he turned onto his side, still looking up at Roy and still grinning. “On what?” He was straying rapidly from what would be considered ‘safe topics’, but for an opportunity to tease Roy? He was willing to take the risk.

“None of your business.”

Danny trained his lips into his best pout, “Oh come on…” He pushed himself up and leaned his head against the headboard so he could be eye level with Roy, “Would you swallow if it were me?”

He hadn’t actually meant to ask the question, but now that it was out there he craved for an answer. Roy raised an eyebrow – less out of disbelief and more out of interest – as he flicked his gaze down to the pillow that now covered Danny’s lap.

“Are you asking me to suck your dick?”

“It’s hypothetical.”

“Sure it is.”

Danny snorted again and lightly hit Roy’s shoulder with the pillow. He excused himself to clean up his make-up before they could hold eye contact for too long. Roy followed. He trailed after him without a word and was there to hand Danny a clean towel to dry his face. He pressed the towel to his eyes as he tried his best to scrub away the stubborn eye make-up. He remembered rattling something off about it before the towel was pulled gently from his hands and Roy’s lips were on his own.

There was that same spark he felt all those months ago in New York and for a second he thought it was strong enough to transport him back to that night in Roy’s apartment. It didn’t, of course, he was still standing in a hotel bathroom in the New Orleans, the faint sounds of cheering tourists filtering up through his window. But Roy was here, kissing him and tasting like spearmint mouthwash and wine (again). That was already enough.

When Danny’s back hit the wall after being pulled out of the bathroom, Roy’s mouth was back against his, drawing out each moan and whimper with ease. When the kiss finally broke with a barely audible ‘fuck’, the skirt of Danny’s dress was pushed up past his hips and his fingers were frantically trying to work open Roy’s fly.

“I borrowed this dress, don’t rip it – fuck!” Danny threw his head back as his wrists were pinned down and Roy’s hips met his. He pried his hand out of Roy’s grip to grab the back of his neck as their lips found each other again. It felt magnetic, two strong forces being pulled together until they latched onto one another and couldn’t let go.

“Not gonna rip it,” Roy assured gently as the kiss broke apart again, “Turn around…” Danny did as asked, pressing his elbows to the wall and arching his back. Roy’s hands grabbed at his hips with a chuckle so deep it reverberated with sultry sin, making Danny’s heartbeat double as all the blood in his body threatened to rush downwards. His breath caught at the sound of Roy quickly unzipping his dress. He bucked backwards once more and Roy grunted out, “Eager?”

“Just horny as fuck.”

“Pretty sure… that’s the same… thing…” Each pause was punctuated with a kiss as Danny was turned around again and his hands crawled up Roy’s shirt. He was wearing way too many clothes for Danny’s liking. He managed to get it up over the other man’s head and tossed it carelessly to the floor before Roy wrestled his hands away from him again. He leaned in and whispered “hold still,” in a soft, raspy voice that made Danny suck back a plea, bite his lip, and comply. 

He stood there frozen, with his hands on either side of his head and bared to the scrutiny of those darkened brown eyes. The kisses that followed were short and sweet and made it hard for Danny to focus. His head was swimming in a syrup of arousal fuelled by the warmth of Roy’s hands and the spicy smell of his soap. He felt the “please” fall from his lips more than he actually heard it – a single syllable that carried the weight of a nine month dry spell and countless nights of New York inspired fantasies that tumbled from his tongue to Roy’s ears.

A soft “ha” followed and Danny watched as Roy flicked his eyes towards the ceiling. He swore he could see a thankful prayer cross Roy’s lips and marvelled at the other man’s visible disbelief of their circumstances. He wasn’t given much time to ponder why Roy would be so surprised before the dress gathered around Danny’s waist (along with his underwear) was pushed to his ankles in one smooth motion when the other man dropped to his knees.

With a gasp, Danny brought his hand to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles as he closed his eyes tight to muffle his moans while the other hand tangled itself in Roy’s hair. Warm and wet suction made Danny dig his heels into the carpet and his head fall back, the only thing really keeping him from sinking to the floor was a nice firm grip on his hips. He whimpered “fuck me” into his fist as the building pressure, ignited by that first kiss, began to sizzle and snap behind his eyelids like small sparklers tracing through a starless night, growing in number and threatening to blind him.

Needless to say, Danny got the answer to his question.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys know that according to my word processor, this fic (with author’s notes and page breaks for chapters) is almost 50 pages long? True story.
> 
> In this chapter, we forget about the slow burn temporarily and bask in proper afterglow otherwise known as “Kitschy is being nice and giving you almost an entire chapter of Biadore in bed nakedness”. You’re welcome. Temporarily. Don’t trust me. 
> 
> Language warnings still apply, with written depictions of nudity and grotesque sweetness. Also, portions of this conversation was based on one too many listens to “That’s so Us” by Allie X (but seriously, listen to that song and replace “Leo” with “Libra” and you’ll see what I mean).

Danny didn’t so much ‘wake up’ tangled in sheets and blankets next to Roy, so much as he regained coherency. Waking up implied that they’d been sleeping and they most definitely hadn’t been sleeping twenty minutes ago.

He cleared his throat, but it didn’t help the coarseness of his voice as he whispered into Roy’s shoulder, “Is this the New Orleans experience you were talking about?”

Roy snickered and shook his head, “No. If I did that properly, I would have fucked you in an alley behind a dumpster.”

“Romantic.”

“I was raised a classy gentleman.”

Danny closed his eyes and revelled a little as Roy’s arms snaked around him and the older man pressed a kiss to his hair. So far, the omnipresent ‘I missed you’ that hung over them both remained unspoken, but they were very aware of it, and Danny was definitely feeling it. He bit his lip and shifted closer, his fingers absent-mindedly tracing nonsensical patterns across Roy’s chest. And they stayed like that, quiet and still, until finally the noise outside piqued Danny’s interest.

“This was supposed to be my first Mardi Gras…” he mused as he slowly started to get up, despite Roy’s protests. “I pretty much missed the whole thing…” He perched on his knees at the edge of the bed and looked over his shoulder. “It’s your fault.”

“My fault?” Roy raised an eyebrow, “Who was practically humping my leg when I got here?”

Danny’s jaw dropped as he gasped in shock, “I was not, you asshole! You kissed me first!”

“Oh, right. And you were mad about it? Please.” Danny yelped into a fit of giggles as Roy pulled his knees out from under him with a quick tug to his ankle before straddling his back. “Saying you’re horny while grinding your ass on my dick and begging… don’t fucking try to put all the blame on me.” Danny whined in approval as Roy peppered the back of his neck and shoulders before he burst into another set of giggles.

“Honestly, man? It’s been so long, I would have jumped anyone who kissed me like that.” He grinned over his shoulder as Roy’s jaw dropped and he gasped in offense. “But I’m so glad it was you!” He tacked on with his sweetest voice and a few eye flutters for good measure.

“Yeah, sure,” Roy shot back as he pulled a face and rolled off to the side. He craned his neck as Danny started to crawl over him, before dodging those rather plush lips. “You know there’s still time, we can always go down there…”

Danny paused in thought, staring towards the balcony door and watching the lights of the city from behind the curtains. He shook his head as he moulded himself comfortably against Roy’s body, “No… I’m okay…” He dipped his head down and whined when Roy turned his face to the side again, “Let me kiss you!”

“After you told me I could have been anyone and it wouldn’t have mattered? Fuck you. I respect myself too much.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Fine, I don’t.”

Danny stole his kiss, fingers curling in Roy’s hair as the tips of their tongues met. He drew it out for as long as he could, punctuating it with a playful nip and a peck. He settled himself lower, resting his head on Roy’s chest before he closed his eyes as the other man played with his hair. He felt Roy speak more than heard him, drawing him out of his daze. “Hm?”

“Care to say exactly how long is long?” He paused a beat before adding, “Turn that into a dick joke and I will come for you.”

“Think you already did,” Danny smirked as Roy sighed that he set himself up for that. He used the joke to buy some time as he pondered how truthful he wanted to be. So far, straight up lying hadn’t exactly worked for him, and lying by omission was a tricky game to play. He sucked in a breath and folded his fingers over Roy’s sternum before sheepishly answering, “It’s been… a few months.” He rested his chin on the back of his knuckles and relished the feeling of Roy’s nails lightly scratching the back of his neck.

He contemplated asking Roy the same question, but was saved from the decision when Roy’s phone rang.

They both groaned.

“Can you get up and hand me my pants?”

“Can’t you just ignore it?”

“I have been,” Roy lightly nudged Danny’s hip to try to steer him from his very comfortable position. Danny gave one final protesting ‘no’ before he reached over the side of the bed and fished Roy’s phone out of his jeans. Roy sighed, covering his eyes as he answered, not even checking the caller ID. “Hello?”

He snorted at Courtney’s very enthusiastic greeting “Hold on! I need to find some place quiet…”

“Good luck.”

There was obviously a door slam and Roy could hear the echo through the phone – either a bathroom (unlikely) or a stairwell (probably).

“Phew! That’s better. I tried to call you earlier, what the hell?”

Roy pressed his fingers to Danny’s lips as the younger of the two mouthed ‘is that Courtney?’, sending a warning glare at the mischievous spark that lit up his eyes. “I was busy…”

“Really? Doing what?”

“Me!” Danny piped up loud enough for Courtney to hear him. Roy rolled his eyes as he sat up and pressed a palm to his mouth in a rather useless gesture as Danny broke into a fit of giggles.

“Who was…” Courtney trailed before she gasped and squealed excitedly, “You took advantage of my birthday gift! Good for you!”

“It’s your birthday?”

“No. Shut up. Both of you.”

“You didn’t tear that dress did you?”

“No, your fucking dress is fine…” He sighed heavily when Courtney quipped back ‘well it’s certainly a fucking dress now.’ As much as he tried, Roy couldn’t keep up his irritated tone as Danny wrapped his arms around his shoulders and nuzzled his nose into his neck. “So what did you want?”

“I was just checking up on you… seeing what you were up to…”

“Uh huh… so, you planned this whole thing.” Courtney popped out a ‘yup’ and Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course you did… well, you’re lucky because I’ve just been informed that I could have been anyone – he would have fucked anyone who kissed him – so this whole set up of yours could have been for virtually nothing. Or at least had a very different result.”

“Well, he hasn’t had sex in nine months so I can’t really blame him…”

“Nine…” Roy’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as he craned his neck to look at a slightly panicked Danny. “Nine months? You don’t say…” He didn’t really pay much attention to Courtney’s response as he pulled away from Danny’s grip to watch the younger man squirm nervously. Hunched shoulders, bit lip, averted gaze – oh, busted. “Hey, Court – I need to call you back…” he didn’t wait for Courtney’s reply before he hung up. He tossed his phone to the bed and just stared at Danny in silence, obviously amused and just waiting. Eventually, Danny cracked.

“Okay, see… I can explain…”

“You can, hm? And what are you explaining?”

“I know what this looks like.”

“Enlighten me.”

“I…” Danny held out a finger as he paused, wrinkling his nose as his eyes darted from one thought to another. He perched himself on the edge of the bed, on his knees while facing Roy and looking very ready to flee. Roy just sat on the bed and waited patiently before Danny gave a weak smile, a shrug and then darted to his bag to find some kind of clothing.

Roy sighed as he watched Danny wordlessly pull a long tee shirt over his head as he moved to dangle his legs over the foot of the bed. He reached out and grabbed the younger one by the back of his shirt and pulled him around to face him again, “What are you doing?” he sighed, bumping Danny’s chin with the tips of his fingers so he’d look at him. Those ethereal eyes darted up to meet Roy’s for just a moment before retreating back down. 

“It’s just kind of embarrassing…” Danny eventually managed.

“Which part?”

“Which…?” Danny shot his gaze back to Roy’s face before taking his turn to roll his eyes and scoffing, “Oh, shut the fuck up.” A smile ghosted his lips as he let himself be pulled back into Roy’s lap. Arms slid around his waist as he pressed their foreheads for a moment and closed his eyes. “It’s not something I intended,” he admitted quietly. “It just… sort of happened. I got into this… routine… and sex just… sex just wasn’t a part of it.”

“How is that embarrassing?”

“I dunno… it’s just weird to say that I forgot about it… well…” Danny pulled back a bit and squinted at nothing before he sighed again, “That’s not true. I didn’t forget about it… I dunno… it just wasn’t like… the biggest priority, I guess. Am I making sense? Have you ever done that?”

“You’re talking to a guy who works two jobs, six days a week… You really think my sex life is particularly active? There’s nights I can barely get out of drag before passing out…” He tilted his head pensively, fingers crawling up that shirt Danny had thrown on, pushing it up past his hips. “So… again, I’m still curious… how is that embarrassing?”

“Everyone just assumes it’s because of you,” Danny blurted out and then winced when he realized how that sounded, before hastily adding, “And I have a hard time telling them it’s not…” Roy laughed out a ‘why’? And Danny just shrugged before he finally answered, “Because I don’t want them to think that it’s… not you. You know?”

“No…” Roy grunted when Danny overcame his balance and they both tipped back onto the bed. They shifted around to regain their previous position before Roy’s phone had interrupted them. 

Once they were settled, Danny spoke up, “So your birthday is…” he trailed a bit, hoping it would prompt Roy to answer.

“Not until June.”

“Really? When?”

“Twenty-seventh.”

Danny’s ‘oh’ was thoughtful and there was another brief pause before he exclaimed with a grin, “So, you’re a Cancer!” Roy erupted into laughter and nodded.

“Yes, breaking news...”

“How didn’t I know this before?”

“I don’t believe it came up.”

“Oh…” Danny wrinkled his nose for a minute, obviously bothered that he didn’t know something so simple as a birthday. “Did I ever tell you mine?”

“I only remember that it’s in September and ~you’re a Libra~” Roy’s little Danny impersonation earned him a light slap onto his shoulder, which he promptly laughed off.

“Asshole.”

“Again, _you_ were the one humping _my_ leg.”

As their laughter subsided, it grew peaceful again. They laid in the dark of that hotel room, with their arms around each other, Danny’s shirt to his armpits as Roy ran his knuckles up and down his spine. Danny began to drift somewhere in between consciousness and sleep, where he floated amongst warmth and content and comfort. He stayed there, suspended in a state of thinking too much and not thinking at all – until finally a thought began to nag at him and worked its way to his voice.

“Can I ask you something?” There was lazy ‘mhmm?’ in reply and Danny shifted to comfortably look at Roy’s face, cast in the festive lights of the city outside that crept into the room from between the hotel curtains. “Why me?”

“Why you what?”

“You know what.”

There was a long sigh as the question seemed to settle on Roy’s mind and those light touches to Danny’s back became a thoughtful drumming of fingers before finally an answer slowly came into focus.

“Well, you impressed me,” he hummed a bit as he seemed to ponder the rest of his thought so he didn’t blurt it out half formed, “Not just with your talent but with just how ballsy you were… I guess I had to find out if you were serious or not.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Danny groaned when Roy answered with a shrug. “Oh, come the fuck on, you can’t tell me you don’t know how fucking sexy you are.”

Roy held up a placating hand, “Look, sometimes I get lucky. But no one is really lining up for the clown in a dress. No one I would really want to sleep with, anyway. Not usually…” He sighed as he shifted to his side, the two laying in the dark, facing each other. Danny pillowed his head with his hand and Roy propped himself up on his elbow. “So when a cute younger guy with a lot of charm makes a bold move and asks me to fuck him? I count my lucky stars and hope to fucking God he’s not pulling my leg.”

Danny hummed in understanding before he leaned in and pecked Roy on the lips. They both lingered there for a moment before pressing another kiss to each other’s mouth and surrendered to a long and languid expression of passion the sent electricity straight to their respective core as tongues dragged against each other and drew out harmonious moans.

It was the kind of kiss that made promises; the kind of kiss that slowed down time and sped up heart rates; the kind of kiss that soothed heartbreak or caused it.

And it was too soon in this whirlwind they were both creating to know exactly where they would fall.

All they knew, as the kiss slowed to a stop, their hands had travelled south. They could only bring themselves to break contact long enough to mutter concerns about condoms and lube as the calm broke, the pressure built, and the frenzy began to settle in.

And all the while, that unspoken sentiment, the one that weighed on both their minds, remained unsaid but spoke volumes to them both. Each touch, each moan, each whimpered expletive, three words were spelled out between them and saturated the sounds of sex.

_I missed you._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the delay in updates. I ended up getting distracted so I didn’t do any writing the week before last, and then this chapter decided to get tricky on me. Heads up though, I will be starting a new job soon that has a more varied schedule than what I have now, so updates might be less frequent until I can get into the groove of the whole thing.
> 
> In this chapter, Danny and Shane have a talk, we get a bit more background on Shane and Roy’s friendship, and Danny and Roy have to say goodbye – for now.
> 
> Usual language warnings apply, with added implied past potential Bitney, and very casual, adult conversations about relationships without jealousy.

With a lot of difficulty, and after every single excuse had been exhausted, Roy finally managed to leave the hotel room with the promise that they would have dinner later that night (which he had every intention to keep). He trotted down the hotel hallway wearing yesterday’s clothes, sunglasses, and a smile when he, quite predictably, crossed paths with a returning Shane.

“Nice sex hair,” Shane grinned, reaching out to ruffle it even more. 

Roy just smirked and gestured to the rather unique way the blonde’s hair stuck out in an odd manner before remarking “I could say the same for you.”

Shane offered no commentary on his own evening aside from a shrug and smile before he tilted his head, “So where are you creeping off to? Figured you’d have a bit more ‘catching up’ to do.” Shane’s exaggerated use of air quotes earned him an eye roll that he couldn’t see but could still sense.

“Sadly, I have to recover. And get a fresh pair of clothes before meeting up with some people.”

“May I suggest something to cover up all this?” Shane circled Roy once, waving his hand towards the number of hickeys and scratch marks that marred the other man’s neck and shoulders as he let out a low whistle. “You look like you got mauled.”

“And I’m thrilled. Here…” he held up the keycard he’d nicked from Danny’s jacket pocket before he’d left. He held it just out of Shane’s reach for a moment before adding, “Be nice to him.”

“I’m always nice to him and I’m insulted that you’d insinuate otherwise.”

Roy handed him the keycard and repeated, sincerely, “Be nice to him.”

“Of course.” Shane tapped the keycard to his chin as he offered up another wide smile, “I really do like this look on you.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

Danny whined from under the covers when Shane toppled on top of him.

“Oh this looks like such a comfy spot, I think I’ll sleep right here!”

“Get off me!” Danny groaned into the pillow, upsetting Shane from his place when he rolled over to the side. He glared at that beaming face and that chipper ‘morning, princess’ before snarling, “I hate you.”

“Strong words from someone who’s had their brains thoroughly fucked. Are you going to just lie naked in bed all day?”

“Yes.”

“Wrong answer. Up up up!” Danny fought for the duvet as Shane attempted to drag it off of him, until he ended up curled up at the foot of the bed with it wrapped around his waist and still glaring murder.

“I really fucking hate you.”

“Liar,” Shane grinned and shoved his wardrobe off the armchair and onto the floor so he could sit down, cross legged, with his fingers interlocked, and putting on his best look of judgement. Danny ignored him, keeping the duvet clutched around his waist as he rifled around the mess of clothing on the floor for something that was his. When he didn’t offer any kind of conversation, Shane got fidgety. “Come on, can you at least tell me if it was good or not?”

“It was great,” Danny remarked, albeit on the distracted side, “We made-out, fucked… he gives great head… aha!” he held up the shirt that Roy had stripped him of hours earlier in triumph before pulling it on. “I missed pretty much _all_ of Mardi Gras, but …” he trailed before shooting Shane a genuine smile. “Thanks.”

Shane shrugged and beamed another bright smile, obviously proud of himself. “I do what I can.” Danny nodded, pushing his bangs from his face as he wandered to his bag to pull out a fresh pair of pants. The silence seemed to buzz with unspoken questions before finally, Danny spoke up.

“Why do you care?” Danny paused as he looked at his pants. “Hold on, I need to fucking shower. This conversation is to be continued!”

Shane had his answer ready by the time Danny emerged from the bathroom – damp hair and fresh clothes – and plopped himself back down at the foot of the bed, grabbing a directory for nearby places that delivered as he muttered that he was starving.

“I told you before that I wasn’t kidding that he liked you, and that hasn’t changed.”

“So you dragged my ass out on a three day road trip just for us to hook-up?”

“Call me a romantic!” Shane drawled before he giggled and shrugged, one shouldered this time, “And outrageously curious. Let’s say it was an experiment.”

Danny raised an eyebrow before he slid across the bed onto his stomach, grabbing a nearby pillow and pulling it under his chin. He stared at Shane inquisitively until finally he decided to start at the beginning, “So wait, how did you and Roy meet, again?”

“B… well, Roy… was helping out on this tiny production that I was in a few years ago. He knew people who knew the same people that knew people that I knew… kind of a chain of association thing. I guess he owed a favor to someone, so he agreed to head the costume department… which was essentially just him and anyone else he could teach to sew a straight line. So mostly him…” Shane waved it all off, “Anyway, that’s how we know each other.”

“And you ended up with his number…” Danny added. He was curious as to who Shane knew to even be cast in anything in New York and exactly how he knew them, but he needed to stay on one topic at a time. He perked a bit and his lips curled mischievously, “Did you two fuck or something?”

“Oh, God no…” Shane huffed out a sigh and held up a finger, “Okay, don’t… that didn’t come out right. I’m not going to deny that there was… maybe a bit of a spark that… led to a little bit of very light flirting… but Bianca is nothing but a professional and acted as such.”

“Meaning you wanted to, but never got the chance.”

“Basically,” Shane noticeably drooped. “Both of our schedules were incredibly hectic,” he paused for a beat as he seemed to suddenly recall an added bit of vital information, “And he was in the midst of a very complicated situation with an ex.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Shane’s face twisted in a grimace at the memory before he shook his head, “But it turned out to be for the best. At the time, I wasn’t planning to move to the States, he had a schedule busier than the one he has now, and as I mentioned before – complicated situation with his ex, which he never gave me details on so don’t even try asking.”

Danny nodded in understanding before he tilted his head, “So then why exchange numbers?”

“Oh, well, that didn’t actually happen until _after_ I moved and got a new phone. We reconnected when he was visiting LA for… I can’t even remember what. Still cute, still a charming asshole, and this time with a steadier schedule of employment and completely single…”

“And you didn’t jump him?”

“No. Something had worn off by the time we met again and we just… ended up friends. But who knows? If we had ended up sharing a night of unbridled passion that first time around? I could have it as bad as you.” He over extended his arm and leaned forward to poke Danny on the nose with a light ‘boop’. Danny snapped at it playfully in response and tilted his head.

“So you’re living vicariously through me.”

“Oh, _exactly_,” Shane placed the back of his hand on his forehead in a dramatic fainting pose, “Reminiscing about the ‘one who got away’.” He snorted and shook his head as he snatched the list of restaurants from where it laid abandoned on the bed. “Nice use of the word ‘vicariously’ though…” He perused the options before they both managed to decide on something and got out his phone to make the order. “We were just worried about you, that’s all. And yeah, maybe it was a bit of an extreme measure but it was fun, so why the hell not?”

“It was just a dry spell. It’s not like I ran off to a convent and took a vow of celibacy.”

“Dry spell of your own making. I mean, I don’t expect you to jump into the arms of every guy who takes an interest in you but come on, Danny… we all saw you favoring your phone over a cute guy trying to flirt with you…”

Danny wanted to argue, wanted to say how untrue that was, wanted to make a huge scene about how wrong Shane (and everyone else) was – but rolling back through (what he could remember of) the last nine months he realized what little ground he had to stand on was slipping out from beneath his feet like rapidly moving sand. So he stayed silent, only speaking up with his order, until Shane was off the phone and finally asked the question of the morning.

“So what are you doing now?”

So far, Danny hadn’t thought past having dinner – something resembling an actual date – but he had a feeling that Shane was searching for a bit of a deeper answer than that. Sadly, he didn’t really have one. He stalled with a shrug, and when that didn’t prove enough, he settled on what he knew.

“We’re having dinner tonight, he leaves tomorrow, and we go back to living on opposite sides of the country, I guess”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Shane dramatically (as he did with most things) slumped into the chair with a long ‘why?’ for good measure. Danny, in turn, threw up his hands, “I don’t know what you expect me to do about it, man! I’ve gotta be an adult!”

“Then do the adult thing and don’t let the ‘what-if’ interfere with your actual life.”

Danny’s jaw dropped as he tried to counter with… something. Anything, really. Anything that wasn’t the weird strangled noise he was making right now. He finally managed to land a very cracked “I’m… _not_…” but the inflection lifted right at the last minute, making it sound like a question.

Shane just stared at Danny, that long lingering stare that said he was trying to break apart each and every piece of what Danny just said – anything Danny had said in the past forty-eight hours, the past week, the past nine months – from sentence to word to syllable, straight down to the core and between each line, before he finally just shrugged, threw up his hands and stood. “Fine. If you want to believe that so hard, then fine. I dragged you out here for some kind of closure so, fuck it.”

“You dragged me out here for a _hook-up_.”

“No. I dragged you out here because you needed to make a decision – either be with him or not be with him – you’ve made your choice. That’s closure.”

“I’m still going to be friends with him.”

“And I would never say that you shouldn’t. It’s great. He’s a good friend to have. You can tell him that on this dinner of yours.”

“I plan to.”

“Great.”

Danny and Shane shared a long stare down with each other – Danny on the bed, on his knees, clutching at that pillow and Shane, standing over him and just waiting for everything to click into place.

“You don’t believe me!”

“Not a fucking word!”

* * *

Danny’s pre-lunch conversation with Shane weighed on his mind, all the way up to his dinner with Roy, even after the other man had arrived to walk him to their destination. The small talk was sparse, Danny’s eyes trailing to nothing as he spaced out. A nudge to his shoulder brought him back to the present, making him blink and look back to Roy with a weak smile.

“You gonna talk?”

“Sorry.”

“Mmm,” Roy hummed and nodded, “We’re both avoiding the inevitable, aren’t we?” When Danny didn’t immediately answer, Roy shoved his hands in his pockets, slowed his pace and proceeded to drive the conversation that neither of them really wanted to have out loud. “We’re going to have to have this talk, we can’t just keep putting it off.”

Danny sucked in a breath and nodded in agreement before they both stopped and moved off to the side. They leaned up against a wall, Roy with his shoulders back and hands in his pockets and Danny hunched forward with his arms crossed over his mid-section. They waited again, stalling for minutes, until it all cracked and everything Danny had been churning in his head fell from his mouth before he could start re-thinking it all for the millionth time.

“Okay… so first off, I want to just let you know that sex with you is so good…” he whined, earning him a laugh that helped thin out the tension that the silence had built up between them. He paused for another beat, hoping to slow his thundering heart before it burst and squeezed through his ears. “But not just that… I’ve really grown to like you… and…” He sniffed once, dropping his hand to his thigh, picking at the loose threads of the distressed tears in his jeans before he swallowed past the lump in his throat and shot a look to Roy, “… this just sucks.”

Roy nodded in agreement before he reached out and twined their fingers together, pulling Danny to him and wrapping his other arm around his shoulders, pressing his palm against the back of Danny’s neck. Danny curled into the hug, pressing his face to Roy’s shoulder and just taking in the smell of him. The warmth, the comfort, it helped him push forward.

“I don’t know what I want from you,” he whispered into Roy’s skin, feeling him nod in response. “And I can’t figure it out when you’re two-fucking-thousand miles away.”

Roy didn’t speak until their hug broke apart, Danny taking a step back and running his fingers across his eyes that were definitely not crying. They fell back into their original positions, leaning against that wall as Roy conceded.

“I have a feeling this dinner we’ve planned isn’t going to do us a lot of favors…” he began before he got out his phone, mostly for something to fiddle with. He sucked in a breath, exhaled, before sucking in a second, holding it, and then breathing out slowly. “Sex with you isn’t so bad, either,” he smiled at Danny’s flat ‘gee thanks’. “And maybe it’s okay that you can’t figure out what you want from… what’s going on between us right now…” He gestured with his index finger between the two of them before unlocking his phone. “Because I really don’t know if I could… even offer anything, right now.”

Danny nodded in understanding before balling his hands into fists, “We’re saying goodbye, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we kind of are.”

“Texting still okay? I mean, as friends?”

Roy chuckled as he tilted his head, “Yeah, of course. You can always text or call me, you should know that by now. Might not always answer but… you know. Offer still stands.”

Their hands came together again, squeezed, and then released. Roy asked Danny if he needed company heading back to his hotel. Danny declined. If Roy came back with him, there’d be too much temptation to make him stay.

So instead, they said their goodbyes and parted ways, hearts thrumming as they went separate directions. They walked back to their respective hotels, and locked themselves in for the night. Danny ordered a pizza and wallowed. Roy just tried to go to sleep to save himself the trouble. Both of them kept their phones in hand, contemplating and feeling like they needed to say one last parting word.

And then neither of them did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys still with me? Okay. Sorry for taking so long on this chapter. Between starting a new job, working on some freelance work, and this particular chapter being a very specific pain in my ass, this took awhile. Hopefully, you guys are willing to hold on just a bit tighter as a result.
> 
> In this chapter, Roy visits LA, old habits either die hard or don’t die at all, and Shane tries his best to curb any possible damage.
> 
> Warnings for the usual language, the sorting of feelings, and a (not so) final resolution.

Danny lounged on Jay’s bed, munching on Cheetos as he relayed his latest dating disaster, “… and then he straight up just looks at me and says ‘that sounds far-fetched’. Like who the fuck does he think he is telling me what I can and can’t achieve? He didn’t have a single ambition to his fucking name.” He started to peel the cheese powder stuck to his fingers off, “I worked hard to get this far, I’ve made connections. Far more likely for me to be a drag rock star than it is for him to move out of his mom’s basement.”

“You live with your mom.”

“Not the point!” Danny crumpled up the empty snack food bag and tossed it at Jay’s face. It hit his shoulder instead. They both reduced themselves into nonsensical giggles before Danny added, “At least I’m trying to do something with myself – far-fetched or not.”

“Speaking of the connections you’ve made, any word on when the infamous Bianca del Rio is hitting the west coast?” Danny snorted and rolled his eyes at Jay’s obvious eyebrow waggle.

“Later today and fuck you. We’re not like that anymore.”

Jay snorted, the ‘I’ll believe that when I see it’ going unsaid, but definitely still heard. He plopped onto the bed next to Danny and asked, “So when are you seeing him?” instead.

“Tomorrow, I think. We didn’t really get anything set in stone. Shane’s picking him up from the airport and he’ll probably want to like… sleep or something, if the old bitch even knows how.”

Danny had kept his word – to Roy, to Shane, and to himself – to keep a certain amount of emotional distance between him and Roy that he hadn’t prior to their reunion in New Orleans. It wasn’t exactly going perfectly, but it was going well enough. He had a few successful dates, and a few more failures, more consistent hook-ups but nothing that could even remotely resemble “substantial”. But it was okay, because he was still trying, as promised.

Now it was late August, creeping into September, and Roy had texted Danny two weeks ago, announcing that he’d be flying to his neck of the woods for a few days. He didn’t specify why and Danny didn’t ask. He was too busy trying to play it cool and he was refusing to acknowledge why.

“So he’s not going to be here when you perform tonight?”

Danny’s stomach lurched and rolled at the thought but he tried to just shrug it off. “Probably not.” He swung his legs over the edge of Jay’s bed and started to pull on his sneakers. He tried to search for some kind of excuse to go ahead and leave, despite their original plans of going to the club together. He muttered something about being hungry and Jay just shrugged an ‘okay’. It had become habitual – ever since they’d started to compete with each other for the same paying gigs – to be compelled to hang out and then duck out early. It had reached the point they didn’t even bother to script out an excuse. It just happened.

“You don’t sound too disappointed.”

Danny paused in the retrieval of his shoes, rather surprised that Jay had chosen to pursue the topic. “About what?” he asked, even though he knew exactly what his friend was referring to.

“Him not being able to see you.”

Danny paused as he shot a quick look at his friend behind him. “Should I be?”

After over a year of pushing the subject, Jay had finally learned to just let it be. So he let the whole thing fizzle into a weird silence that hung thick in the air. Danny tied his shoelaces and sat still as his brain tried to run through another appropriate topic so he wasn’t leaving behind such awkwardness. He bit his lip before turning to look over his shoulder, twisting at the waist and placing a hand on Jay’s bed to anchor him.

“I’m kind of okay with him missing it. It’s not that big of a deal, you know? It’s just me lip synching for tips. He’s seen that a million times.”

Jay shrugged, “If you say so.”

They both exchanged a look – there was an argument just simmering beneath the surface, Danny just had to take the bait. He didn’t. “See you later?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Adore was giggling as she exited the stage, feeling a bit drunk – both metaphorically and actually – before she settled herself at a make-up station and began to unfold her tips. She just laughed as Detox came up behind her and whistled as she started to dig out the various bills from where she’d hastily stuffed them in her dress. 

“Bitch, someone wants to fuck you to be tipping a twenty.”

Adore turned around and flicked Detox’s chest. “Fuck you, cunt. I fucking earned it!” She turned around suddenly to yell at whoever had sidled up next to her and grabbed her money until her protest lodged itself in her throat.

“It’s real,” Roy declared as he held up the bill to the light before handing it back to a slack jawed Adore. “But you’re still a cheap whore.”

“Holy fucking…” Adore cut herself off as she stood and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. Roy’s laugh was infectious, making Adore beam as she pressed her face into his shoulder. There was a strong relief to have him here, and she revelled in it for as long as she could before she rolled back onto her heels and grinned. “I would have thought you’d be asleep.”

“And miss drinking this piss water wine while you got tipped for getting beer spilled all over that calf length dress? Never.” He held up a five dollar bill he’d dug out of his pocket and Adore twisted her lips in a fake scowl.

“You think you can buy your right to insult me?”

“I think the dirty knees on those tights are insult enough without my help.”

Roy smirked when Adore pushed the five back to his chest, “Keep it. I don’t need your handouts.” He quirked an eyebrow and was about to fire back when Detox interrupted with an imitation of a cat yowling.

Roy craned his neck and held up the five, “Detox, you want this?”

“Do I have to suck your dick for it?”

“Have to or get to?”

Detox reached out and grabbed the bill, squeezing Roy’s hand and sticking out her tongue before snatching it out of his grip and sauntering away. Adore rolled her eyes and snickered low as she went back to sorting through her tips.

“You’re so full of shit.”

“Excuse me?”

Adore shot a look at Roy from the mirror before leaning on her elbows. “You. I’ve seen your ego and your dick and one doesn’t quite live up to the other.” There was a cackle behind them and the aforementioned five travelled back and was slapped into Adore’s palm.

“Oh, so you can take my money now?”

“Well yeah, now that I’ve_ earned_ it.” She snapped the bill and stuck out her tongue, “Coming for your money and your gig.”

“I’d stick to lip syncing. Most hilarious thing about you is this joke of a wig you’re wearing.” 

There was an exasperated ‘oh God, get a room, you two’ floating past them in Shane’s voice as he wandered back fiddling with the pink straw in his drink before sipping it daintily. Neither of them replied, locked in a heated staring match in the mirror. Roy broke eye contact first, with a quiet laugh and a firm press of his thumb to the back of Adore’s neck with a caress to her shoulder.

“It’s nice seeing you,” he sighed before pushing away. Adore did her best to convince herself that her stomach hadn’t lurched downwards as a result. They weren’t like that anymore, she reminded herself, but tell that to the lingering warmth of his touch to her skin and it would call you a liar.

* * *

“I’m not _in love_ with him,” Danny insisted as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “That is virtually impossible. Lust, maybe, but…”

“No. In lust, definitely,” Shane shot back before he gestured between the two of them, “Everyone saw the eye-fucking. Don’t try to deny it.”

“Fine,” Danny groaned, exaggerating the single syllable for as long as he could before tacking on, “but eye-fucking is not real fucking and there was no real fucking, so I’m over him.”

Shane eyed Danny with a brow raise and scepticism before voicing a disapproving hum. Danny gritted his teeth and repeated, for both of their sakes. “It’s true, I’m over him.”

* * *

He was over him last night – when Roy was travel worn and probably more than just a little drunk, exchanging brutal jabs at each other’s expense – Danny had been over him. Mostly. That’s what he kept reminding himself.

So, when Roy showed up to lunch sober, freshly showered, and smelling like bliss, Danny had to remind himself yet again that he was over him.

_We’re just friends._

The three word mantra echoed in his head at growing volume as they kept up the light small talk. Danny poked at his food with disinterest as he listened to Roy and Shane make each other laugh. He jumped when Shane excused himself to pay his portion of the bill, stating some excuse that Danny couldn’t decide was real. He grabbed Shane by the wrist and offered his best smile – or his least panicked, however you wanted to look at it. “You don’t want to stay and catch up for just a bit longer?”

“I would love to but I can’t,” Shane gritted out through a bright smile before he leaned down, “Besides, you’re over it so what’s the harm? I’ll see you later tonight.”

He pried himself out of Danny’s grip in one minute and was gone in the next. _Traitorous bitch_. Danny turned himself forward into his seat and stared at Roy sitting across from him, offering up a tight lipped smile as he started to poke at his food again. They sat in silence before finally, Roy spoke up.

“Did I go too far last night?” The question startled Danny, and he combed through his mind for any time Roy had ever said anything so close to an apology in the entire time they’d traded insults over text message. He frowned and shook his head under Roy’s scrutiny, before the older man continued, “Because I’m trying to figure out what’s going on here…”

“Roy… no. You didn’t offend me. I know you’re a fucking asshole. It comes with just talking to you.” He finally jabbed a forkful of pasta before stuffing it into his mouth, for no other reason than to stall. He spoke around his food, keeping his eyes to his plate. “Closest I get to a genuine conversation with you is after you’ve come a couple of times.”

There was a clatter as Roy bowed his head and his shoulders started to shake, using his palm to muffle high pitched giggling. Danny stared on with a confused frown before Roy looked up with a grin.

“God, you’re crankier now that you get sex on a regular basis than when you were pining for nine months.”

“I wasn’t pining.”

Roy quirked an eyebrow as a challenge, and Danny met it with a defiant smirk.

“You’re full of so much bullshit.”

“Look who’s talking.”

They locked eyes and Danny felt his heartbeat jolt. He saw the sparks, felt them like lightning about to strike, his lips tingling from the memory of intoxicating kisses shared in a hurry. The way Roy ran his thumb and forefinger against his own made Danny think he felt them too. Roy looked away to smile at the waiter and pay his check, waiting for the third party to retreat before he stood and leaned in. “Just between friends? I like the newly enforced spine.”

Roy got his card back and tossed the cash tip on the table, before leaving Danny on his own. Danny drummed his fingers on the table, taking a few much needed deep breaths before exhaling heavily.

_I’m over him._

* * *

“Are you sure the spark between you two is gone? Because you were pretty cute at lunch…”

“Oh no!” Shane held up a finger and shook his head. “You are not projecting your feelings onto me. I will not stand for it! I’m not here to be your personal stand-in, so don’t even try. Besides, I value myself too much to even go there.”

Danny smacked Shane lightly with one of the decorative throw pillows from his couch, declaring “No you don’t!” and they shared hysterical giggles and gentle quips until they exchanged a ‘shut up’ to each other and fell into quiet. 

They sat there, Danny picking idly at the fringe on the throw pillow, Shane curled up on the other end of the couch. It was easier for Danny to crash on Shane’s couch while Roy was in town, rather than trying to trek to and from his mom’s. At least, that’s what they’d concluded when they both found out about the other’s visit. It also gave them an opportunity to properly talk, which had escaped them the night before. Danny was willing to let it slip by. Shane, however, was not.

Shane looked at Danny with a sombre expression and a hint of a smile (it felt a lot like pity) before he reached out and squeezed Danny’s shoulder.

“He’s not faultless, you know.”

“I know.”

“His track record with relationships is…”

“Not great.”

“I was going to say ‘abysmal’, but yeah.”

Danny slouched a bit and looked down at his phone, nodding in agreement without really meaning to. “He’s a good friend, though.”

“He’s a great friend,” Shane agreed.

They stared at each other in silence. This whole thing was starting to sound very familiar. Danny puffed out his cheeks and settled on the easiest change in topics, “I’m starving. Can we get food?”

It was obvious by the way Shane parted his lips and faltered at answering such a simple question that he was not ready to let his train of thought get derailed. Finally, he relented, nodding his head. “Yeah, sure.”

Shane excused himself and left Danny alone in his living room, curled up and lost in thought. He could map out this currently stalled conversation, point by point, exactly what Shane would say and exactly how he would respond. It would ultimately draw the same conclusion.

He sighed heavily as Shane returned and plopped back down on the couch, and they sat in silence before Danny finally gave in. “I didn’t think it’d be this hard to be around him…”

Shane raised an eyebrow and just stared up at the ceiling as he handed over the various take-out menus he could scrounge up from his kitchen. “I’m honestly surprised you’re still hung up on him like this,” Shane twisted his mouth a bit, searching for a way to soften the blow of that statement. He didn’t need to.

“I am too,” Danny replied before dropping his head. “When we’re apart – it’s obvious we’re just friends. We chat about our days, he gives me advice, I tell him he works too much… it’s all just casual conversation… but then when we get into the same room together it’s like… I forget how to be friends with him and all I can think about is… well…” he made a few vague gestures before finally settling on “ya’ know…”

“Yeah, I think I know…” Shane pressed his lips tightly together and then held up a finger. “Okay. I know you don’t like… expanding… on the details of that particular time you’ve spent with him and I’m perfectly ready to respect that but can I just ask this… what made it… not special, special’s a really strong word… different, might be more appropriate.”

Danny frowned at nothing in the corner, eyebrows twitching as he processed Shane’s question. He had a couple of false starts before finally he slowly formulated a response, “When I see him on stage… he has this… power and energy that I connect with. He just owns it. He can say whatever he wants and he just owns the stage and the audience. He could get away with fucking murder on that stage and it wouldn’t matter…” Shane nodded slowly in understanding, though failed to connect to Danny’s point and Danny seemed to have a hard time articulating exactly where he was headed with this line of thought.

“Sooo… what’s that have to do with the sex?”

Danny wrinkled his nose and rolled his head back as he sunk further into Shane’s couch. “Okay… so… God this sounds… stupid. But… okay…” he suddenly flung himself forward to rest his arms onto his knees, staring down at his hands before he folded them together just to keep them still. “Imagine that same energy focused totally on you… but instead of trying to get you to laugh or offend you or whatever… the only goal is to get you off.”

Shane tilted his head thoughtfully and nodded, “Alright, I’m starting to see your point.”

“It drives me fucking crazy,” Danny buried his face in his hands, “And I think I crave it so badly that whenever he’s in like… a five foot radius, my automatic reaction is to just start flirting with him and it’s the dumbest thing.”

“And you don’t think the fact that he lent some support towards your life goals has anything to do with that?”

“… No? I mean… you supported me, Jay supported me…”

Shane held up a finger, “True, but Roy is still different, you know it and so do I. Jay supported you as a friend who was getting into drag the same time you were. I support you because I understand what it’s like to be judged for not doing drag a certain way. Roy… Bianca… as much as people who know him give him shit, he’s still respected for who he is. He’s on that same level as all those queens who gave you a hard time when you were starting out.”

Danny swallowed past the lump before he just nodded. “Okay, fine…” he relented before slumping back again, boneless and defeated. “This is pathetic, isn’t it?”

“No. Just puppy love. It’s fine, Danny. You’re fine. You’re young, you’re smart… ish… and you’ll bounce back. Just might take a bit more exposure to the source of your problem to finally get your footing.”

Danny hummed before sliding his eyes to Shane and grinning, “Do we get to make out now?”

Shane rolled his eyes and groaned. “Noooo… because if you fall in love with me, then you’ll have no one there to help you when I break your precious little heart. Do you know what kind of pizza you want?”

“How’d you guess I’d want pizza?”

“I’m either psychic or you’re predictable. Pick one.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has ended up being a LOT longer than intended, but let’s run with it, shall we? Slight change up in the sequence of events. I’m deviating from a strictly linear form of storytelling for this chapter because ambiance, dammit.
> 
> In this chapter, everyone has a breaking point. Danny rewinds to find his.
> 
> Warnings are language, as is the usual, and would you say you like your smut a bit hotter than mild? Because that’s what your getting. (please forgive – it’s been several months since I’ve written anything close to this explicit so it might not be up to par) Additional warning for slightly careless sex precautions – because I’m not entirely realistic and these two are kind of dumb.

“Fuck…” Danny breathed out the word on raspy exhales, head thrown back and eyes wrenched shut. He dug the fingers of his right hand against the nape of a tan neck before sliding it up into dark hair. The nails of his left hand bit into the headboard as he sucked in his bottom lip, caught it with his teeth and muffled a moan.

He felt a tug on his hair, his chin tilted downwards, and lips crashing to his own. Wine and mouthwash – his taste buds remembered as he wrapped his tongue around it. The kiss broke apart fast from the awkward angle, and Danny’s other hand joined the one on the headboard. His eyes moved up fast, avoiding the face beneath him that was connected with the strong hands on his hips.

“Oh fuck…”

_ **––– Fourteen Hours Earlier – 2 pm PST –––** _

“Fuck,” Danny’s eyes lit up and he chewed on his lip as he looked at Roy up and down.

“Don’t say it,” Roy remarked as he tried to smooth his hair down, stepping away from his hotel door, Danny catching it before it closed on him.

“Did you pay for a hooker or something?” Danny bit back a few inappropriate giggles before he caught sight of the rumpled sheets that matched Roy’s rather rumpled appearance. “Holy fuck…” the giggles grew in persistence as he shook his head, “You totally got laid!”

“Yes, genius. Your powers of observation never cease to amaze.”

“Was it the sugar daddy that got you this fucking hotel room? Jesus…” Danny looked around the suite, eyes wide as he wandered over to the balcony doors to take in the view.

“You’re lucky I’m at an age where I find it really cute that you think I could even get a sugar daddy,” Roy crossed his arms and shook his head, a light smile in place as he trailed after Danny onto the balcony.

Danny shrugged, shielding his eyes from the bright LA sun as he looked over the cityscape. “Don’t say that. Oh!” He lightly tapped Roy’s shoulders with the back of his fingers, “He could be like a younger heir to a family fortune who likes short angry guys with smoker voices,” Danny snapped his fingers and grinned, “Came for the daddy issues, stayed for the good dick.”

“Uh huh,” Roy pressed his tongue into his cheek as he tried to keep himself from laughing, leaning back against the high ledge of the balcony as he seemed to stare past the hotel room inside, “First, that doesn’t sound right, at all,” he counted his points off with a finger, “And second, I thought you weren’t impressed by my dick.”

“It’s not as great as you make it, but it’s definitely not _bad_…” Danny corrected with a coy smile before averting his gaze and cleared his throat before tilting his head to the side and gesturing back to the room in question. “So seriously, who was it? Anyone I know?” He gasped, “Oh! Was it Shane? He didn’t come home until this morning.”

Roy let out a short ‘hah!’ with a shake to his head, “What is your hard on with me and Shane fucking? Shit…”

It wasn’t an unreasonable question. It hadn’t been the first time Danny had brought up the subject since he’d found out more about how they knew each other. He had Shane’s perspective on the whole thing and now he was shamelessly trying to dig out Roy’s side on their flirtatious past – out of curiosity.

Danny shrugged, chewing on his lip before finally replying, “Is it really that strange of a question? You two have known each other for awhile, Shane told me that you flirted when you first met… I feel like it’s not completely crazy that you would hook up at some point…”

He looked over just in time to see Roy quirk an eyebrow and laugh, though this one was a little weaker than the ones before it. “We’re just friends, Danny.”

“Friends can fuck,” Danny remarked flippantly. “There’s like a whole benefits package now that includes fucking.”

There was a long pause before the giggles broke out between the two of them, Roy shaking his head as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger until the fit of laughter subsided. He looked over at Danny with a thoughtful tilt to his head and twisted his lips into an odd smile before finally remarking, “I can not figure out what you’re angling towards.”

“There’s no angling. I’m a straight line.”

“Oh, please. Nothing about you is ever straight,” Roy leaned closer to Danny, a pensive look on his face as he repeated himself, “Honestly, Danny. What’s going on?”

Danny shrugged and shook his head, smile still in place, “Nothing.”

_ **––– Seven Hours Earlier – 9 pm PST –––** _

“Fuck! Sorry…” Danny chewed on his lip as he jogged up to where Roy was waiting with a irritated glance and a snide ‘you’re late’. “I have a good reason, I just can’t remember what it is.”

“My time in town is limited, you know. I don’t need to be wasting it waiting around on you.”

Danny rolled his eyes and he poked Roy in the side, “Oh, whatever. You couldn’t hang out all day yesterday because of ‘meetings’,” Danny exaggerated his air quotes with a grin, “But you could spare enough time to fuck a guy.”

“I’m never one to turn down a good opportunity.”

“You bought a hooker or you are one. It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“What I am is done with this conversation. New topic. You had your own meeting today. You wanna tell me how it went?”

That got Danny to abruptly halt to a dead stop, almost choking on his own oxygen before coughing and shaking his head, “No. Not really…”

Roy whispered a quiet ‘shit’ under his breath before he reached out and squeezed Danny’s shoulder. They stood in silence as the early evening crowd moved around them before Danny finally shrugged his hand away and cleared his throat. “They wanted Danny, not Adore…” he admitted with a bitter smile, “So I told them to fuck off because that’s not what I wanted. Stupid, right?”

“If it’s not what you wanted, then it’s not what you wanted. You don’t have to settle,” Roy shoved his hands into his pockets as they began to walk again. “You’re too good for that,” he added, almost like an afterthought. It was enough to sweeten Danny’s smile back to its normal state and they walked side by side in a more amiable manner before Danny managed a small ‘thank you’ and Roy replied with an only slightly louder ‘no problem’.

_ **––– Four Hours Earlier – midnight PST –––** _

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck…” Danny whispered the one word mantra under his breath as he paced outside Roy’s hotel room. They had been separated at some point during the night, when Danny had wandered off with a promising young man maybe about an hour ago. It had ended abruptly when Danny couldn’t hold back his laughter at some frankly ridiculous dirty talk and severely offended his trade for the evening. The good news, he was spared from what was probably going to be some horribly awkward sex. The bad news, at some point between getting separated from Roy and going home with a guy he had no business going home with (but didn’t know it at the time), he’d lost his phone and wallet and thus, his way to contact anyone and his way home (aka Shane’s apartment).

So now he was here, outside Roy’s (empty) hotel room and hoping to whatever deity above might be listening to him (because sometimes that worked), that he’d be coming back sometime soon, and hopefully alone tonight.

Danny spent fifteen minutes pacing before finally just sitting on the floor, next to the door, for another fifteen minutes. As time was starting to crawl into what was probably the twenty minute mark, he was about to give up, until his prayers were answered and his assumed savior of the evening sauntered down the hallway with no company in sight.

Roy stopped in front of Danny and tossed a familiar wallet into his lap, “Be more careful, dipshit.” Danny picked it up and cradled it close, sighing in relief with a ‘thank fucking god’ on his lips.

“You wouldn’t happen to have my phone too, would you?”

Danny swore with a whine when Roy shook his head. He got up and followed as Roy waved him into his room when the door unlocked with an audible click. “You remember where you left it?”

“No. It must have fell out of my pocket at some point…”

Roy hummed and rubbed his eyes as he crawled into bed, “Way to go.” Danny grumbled a few choice words as he took a place next to Roy. They laid there in quiet for ten more minutes before Danny spoke up.

“How drunk are you?”

“Consid…consi… very. We’ll go with very,” they shifted closer together, an inch from touching before Roy finally drawled out, “Why?”

“No reason.”

_ **––– Ten minutes from now – 4:10 am PST–––** _

Danny woke slowly, his face pressed against Roy’s hip as the other man absent mindedly played with Danny’s hair. The television was on, but at a near mute volume, and Roy was fixated on his phone as he scrolled through something with one hand. Danny blinked a few times, trying to gather his senses, groaning at whatever it was that woke him up. The lingering impressions of strong hands and a heated kiss settled somewhere in the back of his mind as his dream began to slip further away from conscious memory.

Danny grabbed Roy’s knee as he tried to steady himself. He lifted his head, lips brushing along the coarse fabric of Roy’s jeans. He shifted forward, sucking in a breath and held it in before rolling onto his back and staring up at the hotel room ceiling. He rubbed his hand over his face and muttered out a very tired ‘sorry’. Roy just cracked a smirk before shaking his head.

“It wasn’t a bad way to wake up,” he remarked, “You were making these… quiet moans in your sleep like…” Roy demonstrated and it made Danny blush hard, redirecting his sleep addled brain back to that dream he’d almost forgotten. “Couldn’t get back to sleep after that.”

Danny laid there on his back, face burning and his throat tight, trying to figure out his next move. He hadn’t fully thought it through before he simply blurted out, “I was dreaming about riding your cock. Like… fingernails in the headboard hard… fucking walking sideways for three days kind of hard… fucking… fuck… _fuck_…”

He’d slid back closer, thigh thrown over Roy’s shin as he started to fumble with the zipper of Roy’s jeans, giving up and pushing up the hem of his shirt. A hand settled on the top of his head as he pressed his lips to warm skin, tongue tracing down before his face was pushed away gently. He looked up, heart throbbing at the possible rejection, until gentle thumbs swiped across his cheek bones before falling back to undo the fly that was giving Danny issues earlier. 

Danny’s eyes brightened at the unspoken request.

His hands delved into Roy’s jeans, coaxing them further down his hips. It took some shifting and shimmying – Roy laughing at Danny’s impatience – before Danny could wrap his lips around the tip and tease it with his tongue. He smirked internally at the satisfied sigh, followed by the light ‘thump’ of Roy’s head falling back against the headboard.

What he lacked in finesse, he made up for with urgency and enthusiasm, encouraged by Roy’s fingers tangling in his hair again. Roy’s hips bucked upwards against Danny’s hands as he pulled off with an obscene slurp. He licked his palm and wrapped it around the other man’s length, stroking from base to tip, lapping at the precum before taking the head back into his mouth and sucking on it with a mewl. His hips moved on their own accord, grinding against Roy’s leg in a desperate search for the right amount of friction. He whimpered and whined around the cock in his mouth out of frustration before it slipped from his lips and he placed a cheek on Roy’s thigh, panting as his scrambled thoughts tried to focus on what he wanted more.

He lightly bit the tender skin of Roy’s groin when he called him a ‘sloppy cunt’, snickering at the responding hiss. “Oh, you bitch…” Roy groaned before Danny’s tongue curled around the shaft and kissed the side before a cheeky grin stretched wide across his face. His eyes rolled upwards as he was quickly maneuvered onto his back, his hands pinned down towards the foot of the bed. His eyesight swam from the sudden head rush and he whimpered at the feel of Roy on top of him and between his legs. His hands were swatted away when Roy released him to focus on undoing his pants, those sure, unhesitant fingers opening his fly in a matter of seconds.

Danny lifted his hips to meet Roy’s touch, choking out a soft ‘fuck’. He slapped both hands over his mouth as Roy fondled him, pressing his fingers into his cheeks before they were pried away and fell to either side of his head as a kiss took their place. It was short and heated, making everything inside Danny twist and coil, igniting a fuse that crackled and spat sparks that he was starting to become very familiar with now.

His hand closed around Roy’s dick and they jerked each other off, bathed in the cool blue light of early morning television. They came across their clothes, faces buried in each other’s neck, breaking into hysterical giggles once they could breathe again.

“What the fuck was that?” Roy huffed hotly in Danny’s ear, making the other turn his head to the side as they both peeled away from each other. “Aside from the fucking worst blow job you’ve ever given me.”

Danny shook his head, rubbing his fists in his eyes as he tried to regain his senses. “No fucking clue…” he answered with a bite to his lip. He tilted his head back so his gaze could follow Roy, who had stood and was pulling off his shirt. “Was it really that bad?”

“It was pretty awful…” Roy held out his shirt and wrinkled his nose as he inspected the damage, using it to wipe his hands before sparing Danny a glance. He reached over and ran his fingers through Danny’s hair as he pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, “Though you _literally_ humping my leg while you tried was kind of hot.”

“Perv.”

“You’re the one licking my come off your fingers.”

“Want some?”

“No.”

“You’re no fun.”

Danny moved fast, reaching out and smacking Roy’s ass before bursting into another fit of giggles. He screeched as he was tackled to the bed, squirming in Roy’s arms. He gasped when he accidentally elbowed Roy in the cheek, causing the other to fall back and cradle his face.

“Oh fuck, are you okay?” he asked, lingering laughter painting his concern. Roy nodded and cracked a smile, squinting when Danny reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine, Dan.”

Despite the light protest, Roy let his hand fall away so Danny could take a look. The skin was tender and Roy winced as Danny lightly brushed it, but overall the damage was minimal. It still didn’t stop Danny from making a trip to the ice machine whilst sporting sex hair and a cum stained t-shirt. When he came back, he made a cold compress out of the ice and a washcloth and handed it to Roy, who obediently placed it on the sore spot on his face.

“So I take it Mr. Gorgeous in the hideous shirt didn’t work out.”

“Oh my god,” Danny scoffed and rolled his eyes, flopping onto the bed next to Roy. He grabbed a pillow and pulled it to him, giving himself something to rest his chin on. “If I found out anything about myself tonight, it’s I can’t keep a straight face when someone compares their penis to lunch meat and tries to make it sound sexy.”

Roy burst out into laughter, closing his eyes and snickering as Danny added, “It kind of looked a bit like lunch meat too. Not cute. He kicked me out because I wasn’t taking things ‘serious’ enough. I barely got my pants back on, I was out of there so fast.”

“Bitch probably has your phone, you know.”

“He can fucking keep it. I’m not going back.”

Roy reached down with his freehand, tugging at the collar of Danny’s shirt, quietly imploring him to take it off. Danny smile and shook his head, murmuring a dirty remark about liking the feel of being painted. He stuck his tongue out for good measure and Roy snorted, “You’re disgusting…”

“I know.” 

Danny removed the shirt anyway and tossed it to the floor. They sat in the quiet again, before he crawled back into Roy’s lap and gently coaxed the melting ice pack from his cheek. He whispered a sorry and kissed the sore spot, earning a soft ‘it’s fine’ for forgiveness. They stayed like that for a minute or so, Danny with his hands on Roy’s shoulders as Roy’s hand rested on his hip.

“What is this?” The question finally broke through after simmering between them both, lying in wait, demanding an answer. It encompassed far more than the immediate question to define what they’d just done, giving it a sense of importance. Danny consulted the space just above Roy’s head before he offered a small smile and an answer.

“Fucking benefits.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive! Have you missed me?
> 
> In this chapter, Shane arrives to save the day and have a much needed conversation with Roy, while Danny gets some good news.
> 
> Warnings for the usual crude language, sex talk, and a shit ton of flirting.

Danny was unsurprised to waking up alone in Roy’s hotel room with a hastily written note about getting breakfast. He weighed his options as he blindly felt around for his phone, only to come up with nothing. ”Right…”

He laid in bed and processed everything he was currently feeling - pissed he was phoneless, tired from the severe lack of sleep, a bit dirty but satisfyingly so for the obvious reason, and maybe a bit empty for a reason he hadn’t quite been able to pin down yet. He felt too groggy to untangle everything, so the knock on the door that broke his multiple chains of thoughts wasn’t entirely unwelcome. 

Deciding to forgo answering the door wearing a cum stained t-shirt (as tempting as it was), Danny opted just to pull his jeans on from last night and answer the door with a bit of dignity. He expected housekeeping. Instead, he got Shane.

“I come bearing gifts,” the Aussie grinned before handing over a clean change of clothes. Danny grunted his thanks before allowing Shane to follow him inside, to which the chipper, bright eyed morning(ish) person whistled. “Who is he fucking to afford this?”

“Right!? That was my first question!” He whipped around as he pulled on the clean shirt, which barely hit his upper thighs and he shed his jeans again to change into the fresh pair Shane gave him. There wasn’t a lot of modesty between the two of them anymore, having shared one too many dressing rooms with one another (and many others). He spun around as Shane ‘ahem’ed for his attention, blinking wide eyed for a moment as the other held up his cell phone. “Shit… Shit!” He cracked a wide smile and grabbed at it, trying to turn it on. Of course, it was dead, but Shane (of course) had the charger with him, “Where the fuck was it?”

“Which story would you like? The one where I tracked down your late night trade using my savvy detective skills or the one where you left it when you decided you didn’t need a jacket?”

“Shit!” Danny laughed at his own idiocy, running a hand through his hair before he puffed up his cheeks and let out a long sigh and tried to find a working outlet. “God, I’m a dumb ass…” he slumped down onto the bed and stared down at the little battery icon lit up his screen. “So let me guess – Roy told you I was missing my phone.”

“He messaged me at some god awful hour this morning to say you lost it. I decided to give it a ring and with its last dying gasps it informed me that it was near the door, the little trooper,” Shane dropped down next to Danny and offered him a grin. “He also messaged me to say you were going to need a change of clothes.”

“And you’re a fucking lifesaver because my shirt is a wreck.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“I could show you.”

“I’ll pass.”

They sat in silence, the metaphorical elephant in the room staring back at them, just waiting to be addressed. Danny, surprisingly, was the first to crack, sighing heavily and leaning his head onto Shane’s shoulder, “I’m a fucking idiot, aren’t I?”

“Only if you actually thought that this wasn’t going to happen.”

“I kind of did.”

“Then you’re a fucking idiot.”

Danny flicked Shane in the shoulder, an over exaggerated pout on his lips as he tried to invite the other’s pity, “I was doing really good!”

“You were not,” Shane laughed when Danny shoved him. Before he could respond, Danny’s phone buzzed back to life. It was still for a moment before lighting up, various notifications from apps to text messages conflicting with one another as they all poured in at once. They both watch as it danced across the duvet, before finally quieting down again. Danny had the decency to let it rest for a minute before he picked it back up and started scrolling through it.

“Jesus Christ…” he muttered under his breath as he leaned against Shane, “You would have thought I’d fucking _died_ and came back a week later… shit, that guy from last night saved my number.”

“You passed up another guy to end up back in bed with Bianca?”

“Okay, yes,” Danny held up a finger, “But before you start,” he shoved his phone under Shane’s nose, “Look.”

Shane took the phone and wrinkled his nose as he fought the disgust with a forced smile. “It’s… not awful?” Danny just stared back, face contorted in disbelief before Shane finally cracked, “It’s tragic…” he tilted the screen this way and that before drawing his lips down in a cringe, as Danny hissed an agreement, “Truly… it is.”

“It’s worse in person,” Danny laughed as Shane shuddered and stuck out his tongue, “So, in my defense… can you blame me?” He went back to his task, shooting out texts to the people he actually cared about, whether it be just a quick ‘I’m okay’ or a placating emoji, and talking all the while. “I was worked up and horny as fuck, with access to decent dick,” he grinned at Shane’s inquisitive ‘so?’

They settled on the mussed up bed, side by side, Danny made a show of contemplating how many details he wanted to divulge, “It wasn’t amazing or anything,” he admitted. “But it definitely did the trick. I accidentally might have given him a black eye, but it was kind of his own fault so I don’t take all the blame…”

Shane quirked an eyebrow, tapping on his lips in thought before favoring a different line of questioning all together, “Black eye aside, does this mean you’re done trying abstain from… whatever it is… you two seem to have going?”

Danny shrugged a shoulder, “I guess.”

Their conversation was cut short by the electronic click of a hotel door unlocking. Shane and Danny acted fast, tangling up together in a sultry embrace. Shane’s legs wrapped around Danny’s waist as they fell together, Danny burying his face in Shane’s neck to try to keep himself from bursting out in a fit of giggles as he heard Roy round the corner.

There was a soft ‘crunch’ of a paper bag hitting the bed and a long, loud sigh. “Unbelievable,” Roy remarked, “Literally. How’s this supposed to work?” He gestured between the two of them before Danny lifted his head, gasping in offense. 

“What are you implying?” Danny pushed himself up to his knees as Roy lifted an eyebrow, “It’s the twenty-first century man, you gotta show _some_ versatility!”

“Speak for yourself,” Roy remarked as he sipped at the coffee in his hand. 

Danny started to rifle through the bag of bagels, offering one to Shane, who declined it in favor of asking, “Which poses the interesting question – when was the last time you bottomed?”

If Roy’d been caught off guard by the question, he did a good job at catching the spit take of his coffee by swallowing it too quickly instead. Danny perked at his reaction, jaw dropping as he echoed Shane’s question, “Oh! Right! Because like… how do you know your preference if you haven’t tried it both ways? Right?” 

Shane vocalized his agreement, which Roy – naturally – disagreed with.

“I don’t have to jump off a cliff to know that it could kill me–”

“–but bottoming won’t kill you, so that’s not really a good comparison.”

Roy stared back at Shane, tilting his head slightly to the side with a whisper of a smirk. “Okay,” his voice raised half an octave as he decided to take the challenge head on, “If that’s your argument, when was the last time you topped?” he shot back to Shane, who balked a little. Roy cackled in triumph and pointed, “See?”

“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about the frankly rigid way you approach your sex life.”

“Is that what we’re doing?”

Danny scoffed loudly and threw a pillow at Roy’s smug face, and missed, “Stop stalling and tell us the last time you took a dick up the ass!” Roy snickered as the pillow hit the wall just to the left of his shoulder. He could only shake his head in response. Danny shook his head back. “What’s this? What’s this? Are you trying to convince us that you have never ever bottomed ever in your million years of life on this planet?”

“I’m thirty-seven you fucking prick, and _this_,” he pointed to his face, “is not convincing. _This_ is me telling you the truth.”

Shane held up a hand, “I agree that it’s not convincing. The truth part? Not so much. You’re too defensive about it.” He finally crawled to the bag of bagels and started to fish one out for himself. “Fess up!”

Roy rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, tilting his head back in thought before he finally lifted his hands in surrender. “Fine. I once had to make a compromise with a guy who I thought could have been the love of my life. Happy?”

Danny squinted and shook his head, “No. Because now you are definitely lying.”

“Your phone is buzzing.”

“Shit!” Danny grabbed it and hung up on whoever was trying to call. “You’re lucky I have to go. This conversation isn’t over. You!” He pointed to Shane, “Let’s be lesbians again, soon.”

Shane leaned in and licked Danny’s cheek with a playful grin, “It’s been a pleasure scissoring with you.”

Roy pulled a face and muttered ‘gross’ before he retreated to the bathroom to dump out the rest of his now cold coffee. He caught Danny lingering at the open door from the corner of his eye. He wasn’t at all surprised by the hug, the way Danny slouched to nuzzle his shoulder, or the light peck on the cheek. Even the quiet ‘thank you’ in his ear was, in some way, expected. It all felt so well practiced and predictable, but he smiled none the less, one arm draped around Danny’s waist, and asked.

“For what?”

Danny shrugged and didn’t give a verbal answer, but the way he bit his lip spoke volumes. He pressed a parting kiss to Roy’s temple and left with a sing-song goodbye and a laugh.

He turned to find Shane standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a Knowing Look – that didn’t surprise him either. Instead he pressed his lips together, placed a hand on his hip and waved the oncoming questions forward.

“Alright. What do you want from me?”

“Real answer to the previously posed question.”

“No.”

“Fine. Then tell me what’s going on between you and Dan – don’t shrug and smile like that!” Shane made a show at rolling his eyes. “I’m trying to have a serious and adult conversation about your sex life!” He took a step to block Roy from exiting the bathroom before stepping out of the way not even half a moment later.

“Is that so? And how is my sex life – or Danny’s, for that matter – any of your business?”

“I’m just a friend trying to look out for you two. Call me a different perspective.”

“I’d call you a nosy cunt.”

Shane held up a finger, “Tsk tsk! You used that one already. If you’re not careful, your conversations will start repeating like your act.”

“Stop revisiting the same tired topics and maybe I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

They both exchanged glares which melted into amusement and Roy smirked again as he picked up the paper bag from the bedsheets and tossed it over onto the desk. “I’ll tell you what I told him,” Roy remarked as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “He’s charming, attractive, and asks me to fuck him. What am I going to do? Say no?”

Shane flopped beside him, “That’s right,” he tilted his chin up, pensive, “I forgot. You’re a slag.”

Roy snorted with another smirk, “I’m an opportunist.”

“Oh, excuse me. I stand corrected,” Shane poked Roy’s cheek, “A lazy slag.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“I’m honest about it. You should try it – it’s quite freeing,” Shane lifted his hands in a jazzy gesture before he turned to face Roy and lean his chin on the other man’s shoulder, “But that level of honesty is a bit too vulnerable for you, right?”

Roy shrugged him off with a sigh, “Knock it off.”

“You haven’t told him why you’re here, have you?”

“Nope,” The ‘p’ sound popped a bit as Roy began to search for anything else to do. The silence between the two long time friends stretched until Shane jabbed Roy in the ribs. With an annoyed grunt, he simply accepted that Shane wasn’t as easily distracted, nor was he going to let the subject drop until everything was fully discussed to his approval. “Fine. No. He has his own career to worry about, I’m not going to fill him with false hopes about mine.”

“You’re so generous,” Shane rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands, “So, you’re happy in New York with your dream job. Drag and comedy is just something to pay the bills. That’s what you always told me,” Shane paused and Roy just waved him on, letting him finish, “So why the change in heart? Why come all the way out here to chase a dream you never said you had?”

“Told you. I’m an opportunist.”

“Whore in bed and whore in life.”

“There you go.”

* * *

Roy needed more, better, and stronger coffee if he was going to be expected to get through the day. Shane walked with him after getting a recommendation for a coffee shop from the hotel staff. Their conversation was picked back up a few steps out of the hotel.

“So, is it really just sex?”

“Weren’t you just lecturing me on the rigid way I approach my sex life?” Roy mused, tapping his lips with the tips of his fingers.

“Shut up,” Shane flicked Roy’s shoulder and earned a smirk. “I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing – and do not make that into a dirty joke. I’m being serious right now.”

Roy offered a shrug, “He’s the one who suggested being friends with benefits. If he gets too clingy…”

Shane held up a finger to cut off Roy’s sentence and shook his head, “Hold up. He’s not the only one I worry about.”

“What do you… are you suggesting that _I_ can’t handle casual sex among friends?”

“B – and I mean this in the… most _respectful_ of ways possible – nothing about you, whether it be sex, romance, or friendship could _ever_ be described as _casual_,” Shane seemed to make a point at using air quotations abundantly to put extra emphasis on his point (the gesture around ‘respectful’ gave Roy pause). He lightly shoved Roy for the affronted expression on his face, dismissing his shocked gasp with a flick of his wrist. “It’s true! You are the very definition of – I believe the proper term is _attention whore_,” He drawled out the syllables of ‘attention’ before punctuating his sentence with a ‘pop’, just to watch Roy cringe. “It’s simultaneously enchanting and self-sabotaging, which must make you exhausted.”

“I can handle casual sex.”

“You can handle one night stands – don’t give me that look! – this is different level stuff. When have you ever had sex with one of your friends and it not end up in a relationship? And! Bonus question – when has it ever ended well?”

“Is this your way of saying you don’t think Danny and I could date?”

“It’s my way of saying that I don’t think you think that you and Danny could date.”

“Where the fuck are you getting all of this?”

“You always question me.”

“Oh right, I forgot that you’re some kind of omniscient miracle.”

“Ignoring the sarcasm, that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said. Good use of the word ‘omniscient’ too.” Shane reached out and caught Roy by the elbow at the door of the coffee shop, pausing for half a beat before finally asking, “Do you think you and Danny could date?”

Roy stared back at Shane, pressing his lips together as he seemed to give the question real thought for the first time ever since this whole thing began. With a long sigh and a moment of averting eye contact, he looked back to Shane’s imploring face before finally replying with a curt ‘no’ and reaching out to open the door. Shane reached out and pressed a hand against it to keep Roy from running away from the conversation.

“Then what are you doing?”

Roy flashed a smile, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“You really think you can charm yourself out of giving a real answer, don’t you?”

“Yup.”

* * *

Shane was sipping tea and chatting with Roy in the kitchen when Danny burst in. Immediately, he curled himself around Shane, grinning with a high pitched squeal before he broke away to hop around excitedly. “What’s happening? What’d I miss?”

“Morgan pulled some strings and I’m singing live next week!”

“Holy…” Shane joined Danny in the celebratory jumping, before their energy petered out to sorority girl giggling. Roy watched on in amusement before getting roped into a group hug that had Danny at the center. “This is such great news! What made her decide to do that?”

“She found out about that disaster of a meeting and called to ask me what I had planned. Fucking bitch decided if those fucking assholes don’t want a drag queen rock star, she’d do what she could to help. I mean, it’s not like… an album deal or anything but shit… I’ll take it!”

“Taking your career into your own hands! I love it,” Shane beamed before tilting his head, “You know, I could get a guy to record your performance. We could upload it on Youtube…”

“You think people would even watch it?”

“It’s entirely plausible. I mean, even Bianca’s reel has views on Youtube.”

“Even Bianca’s? Even…? Fuck you, cunt. I’m at least steadily employed.”

“I see you’ve been letting your facial hair grow out.”

“Fuck you, twice. I’m on vacation.”

Danny clapped his hands loudly, “Hey! Hey hey hey! Let’s not lose focus on what’s important right now!” He took a few steps back, lifted his hands over his head and struck a pose. “Me!”

“Yes! You’re right!” Shane pressed his palms together as he spun around his kitchen to try to regain his bearings, “We need to celebrate. It’s what? A little past noon? I don’t have champagne… but I have some wine. Is it too early for wine?”

“Just pour the wine.”

Danny quickly intersected Roy and Shane and offered a bright smile before the exchanging of barbs relating to alcoholism could fully get off the ground. “Remember, this is about me. Don’t lose focus.”

The wine was poured and a toast was made to Danny’s success, with a promise for a more elaborate and formal toast once he finally made his big break. They clinked their glasses and began to drink until the bottle was gone.

Which meant that Shane was curled up in his armchair, slightly tipsy, while Danny and Roy shared the couch – barely buzzed and still mostly sober, respectfully. Danny turned his head and reached out, brushing the back of his fingers against Roy’s jaw before he smiled. “You know this looks kind of hot?”

“Don’t get too used to it. It’s gone almost the minute I get back home.”

“You work too much.”

“So you tell me.” He sighed as he stared at the bottom of his empty glass until Danny pried it from his fingers.

“You don’t need to get wasted at one in the afternoon.”

“Then how I am I suppose to tolerate both of you assholes?” The smile took the bite off the remark and Roy shifted to accommodate Danny’s body as he slid up to his side. He wrapped an arm around him and sighed before leaning his head back and shooting a look at the barely conscious Shane across from them. “Shouldn’t you be cuddling with your girlfriend?” he whispered into Danny’s hair, chuckling as Shane lifted a lazy hand to wave.

“Mmm… you’re closer. Besides, she won’t mind,” Danny smiled as he curled up and made himself comfortable, his back pressing against Roy’s side and tangling their fingers together. “Is it too much to wish you weren’t going back to New York?”

“No.”

“Okay… good.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dreading writing this chapter since the beginning, but here it is. I feel like I should remind you that this is an exaggeration and in no way reflects what would happen if Drag Race didn’t exist and if those involved were never reality show stars. Because the realism of this whole situation is questionable, but it’s my fic so I say what goes.
> 
> In this chapter, Danny finds his fifteen minutes and decides to use them the best he can, Roy owes him, and Danny and Shane finally have the much needed conversation about certain endowments.
> 
> Warnings for language, as per usual, Danny’s phone talking habits reflecting my own, Danny and Shane being gossip buddies, and a small dash of inconsequential drama because I was about to throw a physical representation of this chapter across the room.

Danny never thought that a phone interview with a podcast would jumble his nerves. Never the less, there were butterflies dancing under his ribs as he sat with his back to his headboard, picking idly at a hole in the leg of his sweatpants. Shane would call them ‘first time jitters’ later and Danny would joke he didn’t know what those were.

He was snapped out of hypothetical banter situations and sprung up from his bed the second he was greeted.

“It’s our special guest for this episode – a drag queen with a golden voice that’s been trending everywhere – Adore Delano! Hey Adore, you with us?”

“I’m here!” Danny chirped as he spun on the ball of his foot. They exchanged pleasantries as Danny started to pace and he listened intently to the hosts’ enthusiastic chatter. Rolling to the heels of his feet he spun again as he explained the basic questions – things he would get use to answering for months after this interview – things like what his drag name was and how he got it, his influences, how long he’d been doing drag, how long he’d been singing – and then finally how he got up on that stage in the first place.

“Well…” he trailed a bit as he tried to think of where to start, “I’ve got this dream, you know? To be a drag queen musician. I wanna get up on stage and sing and just… like… be a freak or whatever. Be okay about it. It’s something that I’ve just been trying to work on…”

“Very rock and roll.”

Danny breathed out a laugh at the slightly lame remark. “Well, I got lucky. I’ve got some friends and family that really believe in me, you know? Local queens that encourage me. Like, you get those assholes that’ll tell you that you can’t do this or that, so it’s nice to have the people who tell you to go ahead and go for it. And that’s pretty much what happened. I had some guys in the music business tell me that I had to be Danny to get a career and not Adore… and friends who told me ‘fuck them’ you know? Fuck ’em , we’ll do it on our own…” he paused a bit and pressed his lips together before he wrinkled his nose and amended his story, “Actually, that’s only the video that you guys saw. First time I sang up on stage was in a bar in New York a year ago. Didn’t have a wig, my make-up was shit, but I fucking did it and it was what really made everything click, you know? That I needed to stop dreaming and do it.”

“You’re not from New York originally, are you?”

“Nah. I was there visiting…” it had been awhile since he’d delved into that story, but it felt right to bring it up right now. “My friend Jay and I were there for a week and we ended up meeting this queen… Bianca del Rio? She’s the one who got me up there.”

“Bianca del Rio, huh? I’ve heard that name around. Haven’t seen her show though.”

“You should! You totally should. She fucking… slays, man. I actually didn’t know the video went viral until she texted me.”

Which was entirely true. The week prior, Danny received a very disgruntled text message from Roy in all caps and no punctuation – a sign he was either drunk or working, or both. Possibly neither.

_YOUR FACE IS EVERYWHERE I CANT ESCAPE_

Apparently, he’d been bombarded with the Adore video for the entire day. Co-workers from the costume shop and queens in the club, had been passing it around and asking him if he’d seen the drag queen singing. 

And Danny hadn’t fully realized the extent, however, until Shane had literally shoved the views in his face.

_“Oh my god,” _he’d said as he grabbed the phone and held it at a more reasonable reading distance._ “Is that number even real?”_

_“It’s views on a website,” _Shane had quipped._ “Not a phone number with nine digits and a five that could also be a two.”_

Danny wandered to his kitchen and started to open cabinets, searching for nothing in particular. The interview careened back towards his own ambitions – did he plan to start writing his own music (yes), was he going to record more performances (probably), and what was his next step (he hadn’t the slightest clue).

As the conversation began to exhaust itself, the hosts started to wrap it up. “Well, Adore – it has been great talking to you. I can’t wait to see where you go next and if you’re ever back on the east coast, we would love to see you!”

“Thanks guys, thank you for having me – this has been great!”

* * *

Three weeks later, the podcast was posted, Danny had uploaded three more performances, and was in the process of compiling questions for a Q and A video, at the request of a number of (new) subscribers. He sat on his bed with his laptop when his phone began to ring. He stared at it in surprise before grabbing it from where it rest on his pillow.

“Hello?”

“It’s a fucking Tuesday and there’s a crowd out the fucking door.”

“And that’s… bad?”

“No. Not bad. Just… weird. I had to get in through the back door. I’ve never had to do that. Ever. Except maybe certain holiday weekends or Pride… I don’t even know where they fucking came from.”

Danny pursed his lips as he thought, frowning at the word document before it finally hit him and he gasped. “Oh! I think I know… that podcast I told you about.”

“What about it?”

“I mentioned you,” he trailed off as he brought up the podcast’s website, the post about his interview up at the top. He scrolled down, and there listed in the episode notes was a short write up on how to find out where Bianca would be performing. “If you get a shit ton of tips tonight, I deserve a cut.”

“Fuck you.”

“That works too.” Danny grinned as he visualized the way Roy would tip his head back to accommodate his eye roll. He could practically hear it in the soft laugh through the phone. “I think I deserve a thank you, bitch.”

“Thank you, bitch.”

Bianca made two-hundred dollars in tips that night. She texted Danny (obviously hammered if the number of typos indicated anything) at around three in the morning. It was hard for Danny to decipher exactly what the message was, but from what he’d gathered – Roy owed him a blow job.

* * *

“He’s made like… almost a thousand dollars in tips in a week. I better be getting more than a blow job next time if this keeps up.” 

Danny sat on Shane’s counter, took the offered cheese that Shane had peeled off of his slice of pizza and stuffed it into his mouth. Shane paused before taking a bite of his pizza and chewed diligently as he made a show at contemplating the number of directions he could take this conversation.

“So you’re saying you’ve planned a next time?”

“And here I thought you were going to go for the hooker and pimp joke.”

“Oh, we’ve already covered that Roy’s a whore. We’re moving on,” Shane waved off the slight deflection with ease as he leaned beside where Danny was sitting. “But you’re keeping up the friends with benefits. That’s a thing that’s ongoing.”

Danny tilted his head side to side before grinning a little, “Yeah… sure. I mean… why not? If he’s willing and I’m willing and we don’t have any other commitments… then yeah.” He pressed his lips together, his eyes wide and puppy-like as he shot Shane an imploring look. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing!” Shane lifted his hands up in defense before taking another bite of pizza. “I’m the last person who will judge you for having sex among friends, believe me. I just…” he trailed a bit and sighed before shooting a sideways glance at Danny, who was half turned where he perched on the countertop. Shane took a moment to consider what he was about to say and chose the most honest approach. “You’ve teetered back and forth on this so many times, I just want to make sure everything’s squared away.”

Danny just offered a small smile before he leaned forward a little and grabbed another slice of pizza from the box on the stove. “I got freaked out by the intensity. I kept thinking it was something that I wasn’t ready for… but I dunno… I think that was just the sex talking. I figured out what I want from him.”

“Do tell.”

“Good, no frills sex with a really nice dick…” Danny grinned before adding, “Who has a really nice dick.”

Shane groaned at the horrible attempt at humor before shaking his head and holding up his finger, “Okay! Okay…” he began, starting to pull apart the crust of his pizza as he ventured on with the current topic at hand, “That’s another thing you’ve been inconsistent on. So now you have to fess up – how good is this dick?”

“Wha–” Danny blinked owlishly at Shane before his jaw dropped, “Oh my god, have you seriously not seen it?”

Shane raised an eyebrow at Danny and shook his head, “No. I’ve never seen him change. He was strictly working on costumes and wigs when we worked together so… I’ve never had the opportunity.”

Danny floundered a bit with his words before finally he looked in both directions cautiously (as if someone could suddenly walk out of the walls of Shane’s apartment and catch them). He dug his phone out of his pocket and began fishing through a series of folders. “I didn’t show this to you, because I deleted it in front of him and it no longer exists. This isn’t actually happening. What you are witnessing is fake.”

“You are not telling me that you actually got a picture of him – holy fuck, you’re serious!” Shane took the phone from Danny, cradling it in his palm. He zoomed in with his fingers and shook his head in disbelief. “Okay. That can’t be real.”

“I just fucking told you it wasn’t real! Were you not paying attention?”

“Is this my living room?” Shane squinted at the backdrop of the photo in question before gasping, “Oh my god, you two fucked in my living room? Where was I?” 

Danny cackled.

“Sleeping, I think.”

“You two fucked in my living room when I was home and unaware?” Shane scoffed, “I don’t know if I should be proud or offended right now.”

“I wanted to invite you, but he said no.”

“I’m going to have to give that boy a stern talking to. How dare he,” Shane batted Danny’s hand away as he tried to take back the phone, “I’m not done looking!”

“You can _not_ tell him that I still have this picture. You can’t.”

“I won’t! But you fucked on my couch, I at least deserve some kind of compensation. When did this even happen?”

“Night before he left, after you went to bed….” Shane shot Danny a look. Danny whined, “Don’t do that! It’s not like I fucking planned it… it just kind of… happened.”

“And you didn’t stop to think about maybe not fucking on my couch?”

“We did! So we fucked on your coffee table instead – we cleaned it afterwards!” Danny laughed over Shane’s gasps, and failed to wrestle the phone away. He leaned his head back against the cabinets, giggling mostly to himself before he cast a quick glance to Shane’s living room from where he was perched.

_He knees were definitely rug burned and his elbow still tingled from hitting it wrong on the wood corner of the coffee table, but numbing bliss coursed through all of his extremities that made him just not care. He pushed himself back against the couch, head lolling backwards as a sappy smile stretched across his face. He raked his eyes appreciatively across Roy’s body as the other man tried to find where they’d tossed his clothes. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to do it – that night was filled with Danny not thinking straight – but nevertheless, he reached behind him and grabbed his phone._

_The shot he’d snapped was Roy caught mid-turn, pulling his shirt on. He paused when he heard the clicking sound of the camera and looked at Danny in amused disbelief._

_“Are you fucking serious?”_

_“Something to remember you by.”_

_“Very funny. Now delete it.”_

_“I don’t want to.”_

_Danny did his best not to laugh too loudly, hissing out giggles as Roy pinned him down. He bit and sucked a few good marks on Danny’s neck, until the other was squirming in his grip and biting his lip to keep his moans at bay. “Fucking… cock sucking… son of a bitch. Fine. You win. Shit.”_

_He deleted the picture and they would fuck on the floor about a half hour later. Roy didn’t need to know that there had been more than one._

Shane snapped his fingers in front of Danny’s face and Danny offered a shy smile in return. “That’s it! I’m buying new furniture. I don’t need you to look wistfully at my coffee table, especially when I know why.”

“I’m not going to look wistfully at your coffee table…”

“You just did!”

“Because we were talking about it! C’mere!” Danny reached out and wrapped his arms around Shane, resting his chin on the top of his head. “You’re still my favorite.”

“Liar,” Shane finally passed the phone back to Danny and sighed. “That is good, though. I can see why you’re okay with bottoming.”

Danny smirked as he took the phone back, “And that picture doesn’t even do it justice. But don’t tell him. He’s got enough of an ego already. He doesn’t need encouraged.”

“So just good, no frills sex with a really nice dick, hm?”

“That’s the current plan.”

“And apparently no space is sacred.”

“Oh for – if I say I’m really sorry, will you stop crying about the living room?”

“I dunno… I feel very taken advantage of…” Danny squeezed Shane lovingly before kissing his temple. Shane, in turn, twisted his head to the side and licked the side of Danny’s nose in reply. They stayed like that for a moment before Shane shrugged Danny off and relented. “Fine! Fine. I forgive you. Just promise it won’t happen again.”

“I promise we won’t fuck in your living room while you’re sleeping.”

“Thank you. Either wake me up or wait until I’m not home.”

“Yes, dear.”

“Okay. You’re off the hook – this one time!” Shane held up a finger and looked over the empty pizza box and tossed it on top of the trash can. “So are you planning on promoting any other queens now that you’ve got this spotlight, or does Bianca del Rio get special treatment?” The grin said he was teasing, but there was an ambitious spark in his eyes that made Danny smile.

“The only reason I mentioned Bianca by name is because the podcast was based in New York… it’s true!” Danny insisted at Shane’s skeptical ‘mhm’ before he playfully swatted at the other. “Be nice to me!”

“I’m always nice to you!”

Danny pouted, his next train of thought interrupted by his phone ringing. He frowned at the clock when he saw the caller ID, shooting a look a perplexed look at Shane, “Speaking of the devil.”

“It’s like five in the morning over there…” Shane mouthed as Danny just shrugged and answered.

“Hey, what the…”

“Who is this?”

Danny blinked a few times, stricken by the unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone. “I… uh…”

He didn’t get a chance to answer before he heard a scuffle, hissed arguments, Roy’s voice in the background “–the fuck out!” and then a slam. He stayed on the line in awkward silence before he tried to venture into the unknown territory of whatever the hell was going on. “Roy? You okay?”

There was a whispered ‘shit’ on the other line and Danny repeated himself, just to be sure. “Yes, I’m fine,” came the eventual reply with a long sigh. “Hope I didn’t wake you…”

“Fuck… please. We’re on drag queen hours. It’s only two in the morning, you didn’t wake up anybody – seriously though. Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” Danny held up a finger to calm Shane’s sudden worried expression.

“No, I’m not hurt. I’m fine. My neighbors are probably about to kick my ass, though…” he trailed again, obviously distracted by something. “… Jesus…” he whispered under his breath so soft that Danny only barely caught it. Danny started to ask what happened when Roy cut him off. “Look, I’ll explain later, but I need to get some fucking sleep. I need to get up in like… two hours.”

“You aren’t seriously going to go to work, are you?”

“Part of the glamor of living in the big city.”

“Call in sick. And send me a picture next to a clock or something so I know you’re okay, because you’re freaking me out.”

“Danny. I promise you. I’m fine.”

“Roy. I promise you. If you don’t do what I say, I will give the phone to Shane. He is standing right in front of me.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

The laugh helped calm some of Danny’s nerves, “Alright. Fine,” a sigh, then another laugh. “I’ll send you your fucking picture and talk to you later.”

“Get some fucking sleep.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know who is still reading this. Is anyone still out there?
> 
> Anyway, now is a good time for me to note that I will sometimes go to some extreme lengths (and sometimes just lazy) to avoid naming anyone from the queens’ personal lives. This is to retain the fictional quality of the story. So, you will only really see vague references without names. Mostly because I don’t feel like naming fictional characters when they are just mentioned in passing and never an actual focus.
> 
> With that said, in this chapter we get the story of what happened at five in the morning, Danny fesses up to some Facebook stalking, and there’s a bit of real talk that follows. Usual language warnings apply, with some feelings and an early morning surprise thrown in.

Roy was true to his word and had sent a picture to prove his well being to Danny before the conversation continued at a far more reasonable hour. Danny was back on his laptop when he answered the phone and put it on speaker.

“Hey, bitch,” Danny grinned at Roy’s answering ‘Afternoon, asshole’. “So spill. What the fuck happened last night and did you get sleep like I said?”

“I’m fucking lucky I could afford one day off, though I’m never going to hear the fucking end of it tomorrow and when that happens, I’m coming after your ass.”

“Talk dirty to me some more. And it’s not my fault that you were up until five a.m. dealing with some drunken trade who likes to call people from your phone.”

“That wasn’t drunken trade,” Roy corrected swiftly, “That was a friend. Who was still drunk as fuck, but definitely not someone I’d sleep with.”

“Fine,” Danny set aside his laptop completely to pick up his phone and give Roy his undivided attention. He sat tailor style on his bed, phone in his palm, before leaning back on his headboard. “Then tell me what the deal was.” He left out the part where he’d been worried that Roy had some kind of fight, that he’d have to jump on a plane to shank someone to defend whatever honor Roy might have left, (which couldn’t be a lot, but it was the thought that counted) or that he should start locking his windows. Instead, he waited with his breath held for a half a moment before Roy started talking.

“It was just a friend. He was having some issues with his boyfriend and he came over to get drunk and be an idiot so he could forget about it. He’s a nosy son of a bitch and he got a hold of my phone. You were the last person who texted me and he saw the shit about the blow job and decided to be an asshole. That’s it.”

“So the arguing and the door slamming?”

“Was me kicking him out because he shouldn’t have called you, that’s just a given,” there was a pause as Roy obviously took a swig of what Danny could only assume was wine, “Except now he thinks I have some secret boyfriend and he won’t stop fucking asking me about you.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“That it’s none of his fucking business. Which is true.”

Danny sucked in an exaggerated gasp before placing the back of his hand to his forehead (a gesture that Roy obviously could not see, but it seemed necessary none the less), “Why must you insist on denying our love for each other?” It was entirely possible that Danny had been spending a bit too much time with Shane as of late. He didn’t dwell on it, picking his laptop back up and going back to what he’d been doing.

“Shut the fuck up. You’ll survive.”

“No. Nope. I’m not entirely sure I will. I’m pretty sure I will just fall over right to my death…” his voice trailed as he slowed in his browsing and tilted his head to the side, “Holy fucking shit…”

“What now?”

Danny hissed a bit through his teeth as he tried to get his growing laughter to subside, letting a giggle out a little bit at a time like deflating a balloon slowly. He pressed his lips together tightly, snorting before Roy sighed heavily over the phone.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Danny squeaked out a bit too high pitched to be remotely convincing. “Nothing at all.”

“Danny…” It was a warning and he snorted again at Roy’s very lame attempt to sound authoritative. As if he could do anything over the phone, two thousand miles away.

“Nothing!” Danny repeated before he pushed himself up, setting his laptop down on the bedspread as he scrolled through a gallery of pictures. He snatched his phone back up and switched it off of speaker, “I have two things to say...”

“Okay?”

“First off, I firmly believe you can do better than this guy camping out in your comments section and secondly, baby drag queen you was so fish, what the fuck? Oh! Thirdly… I’m stalking your Facebook. Can’t stop me.” He grinned at Roy’s irritated grumbling of various obscenities. “So who is this guy…? Aw, fuck. He has his profile on private, the coward.”

“He’s my ex, Danny. Just leave it alone.”

“Ex… seriously?” Danny let out a low whistle. “I thought you said you were shallow...”

“What’s that mean? You make it sound like he’s misshapen.”

“He’s just so… generic looking… I’m so much cuter.”

“Your modesty is amazing.”

“So is this the ex you were breaking up with when you met Shane?”

“As if I only have one ex, but yeah. Sure. And we weren’t breaking up. We’d been broken up for years prior to that whole situation.”

Danny paused a beat to let that new little detail settle.

“You cannot tell me that you made up an excuse to get out of sleeping with Shane. Do not tell me that, it will seriously break my heart.”

“Again with me and Shane fucking… No. That’s not what happened.”

“Then tell me what happened… and after, you can tell me about this tuck because that…”

“…is why I wear long dresses now.”

“So you are lazy. I knew it. You’re who I want to be when I grow up.”

“Fuck off.”

“You were supposed to explain the tuck after the story on what happened with you and this guy, Douche Face. Can I call him Douche Face?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“I’m going to do it anyway.”

“Of course you are.” There was a long pause, punctuated with a sigh before a quiet (nervous) laugh broke through. Roy was weighing his options, Danny could hear it, and he decided it would be worth waiting patiently for the response. “Alright fine,” Roy acquiesced to the situation and gave into Danny’s request. “Douche Face, as you have lovingly decided to call him, and I were together for about a year, broke up because I am fucking terrible at prioritizing my personal relationships, and at the time I met Shane… we were considering getting back together.”

“You did not…”

“No,” Roy’s voice cracked a bit with his denial and he coughed. “No,” he repeated, “but… I thought about it.”

“Are you thinking it right now?” Danny scrolled through, tallying up the number of times this guy had left either a vague message or emoji on any of Roy’s updates. The long, halted pause made Danny catch his breath. When an answer didn’t come immediately, Danny gently prodded. “Roy?”

“Probably not, I don’t know,” Roy sucked in a breath at Danny’s quiet ‘oh’. “Look… I’m not a complete idiot. I know what’s going on. He’s been single for awhile, I’ve been… painfully single… for… awhile… he’s getting desperate and I’m… you know… familiar.”

Danny paused at a particular reply Roy had left on a status update two weeks prior. 

_It sounds lonely_

_It can be sometimes_

He drummed his fingers on his laptop before he snapped it shut and set it aside. “You know you’re worth more than that, right?”

“Are you serious right now?” Roy chuckled, but all Danny could hear was the horrible cover up of Roy’s own cynicism. “We have a casual sex arrangement where we fuck just about every time we see each other…”

“That’s different. I actually give a shit about you,” Danny spoke over Roy’s attempts to interrupt him, “No. Look. You and I… we’ve got everything laid out. There’s no… ulterior motive. It’s sex among friends… we keep it honest. What this guy is doing? This is shit. Trying to string you along to get what? Either easy sex or an easy relationship to pass time? Fuck that. Don’t settle on someone who doesn’t have the balls to be upfront with you. You’re worth so much more than that. Fucking find someone better.”

There was another long silence before Danny started to pick at his sweatpants. He began to go through the number of ways he could backpedal to an apology as it began to stretch longer than he found comfortable, before finally – _finally_ – there was a quiet, “you’re right” on the other end of the line. He wasn’t quite sure how to reply, but Roy continued before he could decide.

“When I’m lonely, I like feeling missed. So, yeah, you’re right. He’s stringing me along and telling me what he knows I like to hear.”

“Are you lonely?”

“Danny…”

“No, we’re being serious, just like you said. So just answer the question, serious-like. Are you lonely right now?”

Yet another pause, followed by another quiet answer in a hoarse voice. “Yeah,” there was a quick throat clear before Roy repeated his answer a fraction stronger, “Yeah, right now I kind of am.”

Danny’s lips twitched at the admission, and he sunk back into his bed, staring up at his ceiling. “Then… would it help if I told you that I miss you? And… you know… actually mean it?” He sucked the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth and smiled at the relieved ‘yeah, it does’ that came through as a sigh. “Good. Because I mean it, you know. I miss you.”

They sat in silence after Roy’s rather shy ‘thank you’. The sincerity began to make Danny fidget. So he broke it with a joke.

“I think you owe me more than a blow job, now.”

“How do you figure?”

“I just saved you from a shit decision. You’re welcome,” he snapped his fingers as a stroke of brilliance hit him, “Let me rim you, then we can be even.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, see, that’s what we always do. And you won’t let me _actually_ top you so… compromise or whatever. Let me do this. I’m good at it. You might even like it.”

“Good night, Danny.”

“You’re not saying no, so that means maybe!”

“No. Good night.”

“You are such a dick.”

* * *

It was some point past four am when Danny woke up to the buzz of a text message. He felt like he’d just barely fallen asleep, only just conscious enough to hear it. He felt around for his phone, wiping at his eyes as they adjusted to the sudden brightness. He sucked in a breath, the blurry words slowly coming into focus.

_Roy: miss you too for the record_

Danny’s sleep addled brain took a moment to catch up and process. No caps lock, so Roy was sober. Danny couldn’t fully math it out, but he knew it was far later in the morning and a far more reasonable hour on the east coast. He should have been annoyed by the interruption in his sleep. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help the slightly dopey smile stretching across his lips, even though he tried. But it was four in the morning in his dark bedroom and there weren’t any witnesses, so he supposed that didn’t matter. He tilted his head and rolled onto his back, trying to think of some snarky response. When nothing came to mind, he decided to settle on something honest.

_Danny: good. You feel better?_

The reply didn’t come immediately. Danny rubbed his face and waited, reasoning that Roy must be getting ready to go to work. He pressed his lips together and vaguely considered just going back to sleep before his phone buzzed again and the screen brightened to reveal a response.

_Roy: yes thank you_

_Danny: took you long enough._

_Roy: sorry didn’t think youd reply so fast. Was busy showering_

_Danny: if you’re naked send pics_

_Roy: no fuckn perv_

_Danny: :(_

There wasn’t a sexting or phone sex clause in their arrangement yet, but that didn’t stop Danny from occasionally trying to make one. Roy had yet to give in and Danny wasn’t the kind to get discouraged – marking it to be one of the most trifling (yet entertaining) negotiations in their relationship thus far. As of right now, it was a topic breached whenever Roy seemed to need a laugh and some good banter. If anything ever became of it – well, Danny certainly wasn’t going to complain.

There was another delayed response and Danny assumed the conversation for the morning was over. Until his phone lit up again. He saw the caption first and grinned.

_Roy: fine! this is all you get tho_

Danny snorted and pressed his fingers to his lips as he tapped on the selfie. Roy was shirtless and his hair was damp. Danny recalled his smell – his soap, the kind of shampoo he used – and there was the taste of mouthwash (no wine, he wouldn’t be drinking quite this early) that he’d become so familiar with. As tame as the picture was, it still made something stir within Danny’s gut.

_Roy: happy?_

Danny thought about his answer before deciding to go the blunt route.

_Danny: be better with nudes but I’ll take it. _

_Roy: you always take it. should be use to it_

_Danny: only take it with you_

He hadn’t meant to admit to that slightly exaggerated truth, but never the less, it was out there now for Roy to read and use however he saw fit. Blame it on four a.m., Danny thought as he waited for the outcome. He watched as the ellipses at the bottom of his screen danced then paused then danced again. Finally, he got a reply.

_Roy: not sure what to do with that._

_Roy: but you’re serious?_

Danny rolled his eyes before he finally turned onto his stomach and began to type out his response.

_Danny: yes, I’m serious you fucking asshole. we talked about this before. top you if you weren’t such a cunt about it._

_Roy: I’d say sorry but I’m not._

_Danny: you should be. You’re missing out._

_Roy: so what makes me special?_

_Danny: ugh. You fucking bitch. You’re gonna make me say it_

_Roy: yup_

_Danny: Fucking fine. I like your cock. Happy?_

_Roy: knew it._

_Danny: fucking hate you._

Danny groaned as he rolled onto his back again, his phone slipping from his fingers and falling onto his chin. As he picked it back up, he sputtered, nearly choking before he sat up in bed and bit his lip.

_Danny: did you just send me a dick pic?_

_Roy: isn’t that what you wanted?_

_Danny: Yes. Oh my god, I’m so fucking proud of you. I could cry._

_Roy: regretting all of my decisions._

_Danny: You just doing that now?_

_Roy: Shut the fuck up._

Danny bit back his grin before he tilted his head, fingers hovering over his touch screen as he looked over the grainy image. It was better than the one he had, he had to admit that much. Hard and at a decent angle, he vaguely considered asking when the picture had been taken – because it had obviously predated that morning. Instead, he decided to let that particularly detail go, counted his lucky stars, and saved it to his phone to be used later.

_Danny: it’s one of the best I’ve ever got, thank you. Now I just need to get you to jerk off to my voice on the phone and I’ll have you right where I want you._

_Roy: Good luck with that._

_Danny: Oh. I’ll do it. Just you wait._

_Roy: I’m trembling in fear._

_Danny: Don’t mock me when I can blackmail you._

He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before he followed up with:

_Danny: Wish it was in my mouth right now._

_Roy: Yeah, no. We’re not doing that._

_Danny: Come on!_

_Roy: Nope. I’m in a cab on my way to work, so jerk off if you need to but don’t drag me into it._

_Danny: Mean._

_Roy: Always. I’ll talk to you later. _

Danny scoffed before he settled back into bed after setting his phone aside. He stared up at his ceiling, now wide awake, thoughts buzzing around in his head. The minutes crawled by before he finally reached over and grabbed his phone one more time to get the final word.

_You’re a cunt but I still miss you._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m here! I’m here and alive and I’m here and I’m writing and look! Results! In other words, I’m sorry this took so long but I’ve been incredibly busy working on projects that actually have deadlines and not losing my mind. If you would like more updates in these times of insanity, feel free to drop in on my writing blog @kitschypixel. I might even write other things that isn’t this fic at some point, who knows?
> 
> So… in this chapter, there’s a lot of talking, some light bit of fucking, and a whole lot of feelings. Or, in other words – it’s A Lot. 
> 
> Warnings for language, heightened expectations, and did I mention the light fucking?

Two (and about a half) years after he’d been dragged up on stage by Bianca del Rio, Danny had been invited back to that same club to celebrate his new bout of success as Adore Delano. Fifteen minutes of fame had stretched into months and using the momentum, Adore had successfully crowdfunded a self-titled EP and garnished enough interest in a small, five city tour to promote the album and bring in money for a music video. 

Los Angeles, Denver, Chicago, Atlanta and, of course – New York. Instead of working his way backwards from New York to home as originally suggested, he saved that particular destination for last and opted to take a few days off in the city. For vague reasons he failed to specify but Shane had the decency to voice out loud over the phone while he was in Chicago.

_You two are going to be fucking and you’re just making sure you can savor it._

Danny hadn’t bothered to deny it.

However, his plans hadn’t entirely panned out as expected. Roy was still reaping the limited localized fame Bianca had garnished from Adore’s name drop months prior and was accepting different hosting offers that paid a bit better than Bianca’s usual bar and club gigs. So, of course, she wasn’t available to introduce Adore as Danny had originally hoped. 

And he tried not to sound bitter about it when texting Roy after his plane had landed.

_Danny: So. Am I going to get to see you?_

_Roy: Yes. Calm down. _

_Danny: I am calm._

_Roy: You’ve asked me that five times since yesterday._

_Danny: That’s not true._

_Roy: Really? Go check._

Danny scrolled back quickly through and tallied up the number of times he’d ask that question, in various manners, throughout the past twenty-four hours. He wrinkled his nose.

_Danny: I asked you four times. You’re exaggerating._

_Roy: Oh yeah, because that’s such a huge stretch._

Danny battled his own self control on whether he should make a sex joke or not. He opted to just leave it, not respond, and re-approach the conversation later. He couldn’t risk a joke sounding like desperation. Even though it kind of was.

But that only mattered that afternoon, when the sun was bright and Danny was still Danny.

Because fast-forwarding to that night, and Adore was ready. The importance of a silly little squabble with a friend and sometimes fuck buddy had waned considerably with the passing hours. She pursed her lips in front of a streaky dressing room mirror before doing a twirl and beaming a bright smile to her own reflection as she took it all in. 

She was here, in New York, about to go on a stage filled to the brim with a strange brand of nostalgia, and she was ready to close out this tour in the best way she could. It felt fitting and right as her heart pounded in her throat and she tried to swallow down her excitement. Drumming her nails on the table, she eyed her phone laying passively amongst the mess. After a moment, she snatched it up and finally decided to revisit three p.m., leave the sex jokes aside and let out some honesty instead.

_Wish you were here._

It was past midnight, her audience was surely wasted by this point, and she could hear the dance music pound out on the main floor as she got her five minute warning. She turned to acknowledge it and half of her body jumped. Standing at the door was Bianca del Rio, with a smug smirk, looking like some wayward deities had summoned her up on Adore’s command. “Holy fuck…” she whispered and in three strides she fell into the other queen’s arms and hugged her tight. 

Intense homesickness that she’d done her best to keep down for much of the tour had started to bubble upwards, brought forth by a familiar face so far away from home. She had a hard time letting go once she had latched on to something (someone) stable. It took two hands on her shoulders to push her upright, coarse voice in her ear.

“Fuck. What the fuck is this?”

Adore nodded and sucked in a breath, trying her best to save face and recover. She awkwardly ran her hands down her torso as she struggled to figure out how to stand, valiantly fighting back a sudden urge to cry with a harsh swallow. “Thought…” she cleared her voice and inhaled sharply before breathing it out slowly through her teeth. “I thought you were busy… thought you had another gig.”

“I did. Earlier in the night… I’m just here because I like you… shit… if I knew you were gonna cry about it…”

“I’m not…”

“Right,” Bianca cut her off swiftly, “Listen. Talk later, if we have to. I’ve got to get on stage. How much time do you need to get your shit together?”

“I’m fine.”

“I can buy you about ten minutes.”

“Thank god.”

With a reassuring pat on the shoulder, Bianca dismissed herself and Adore followed slowly. Her stomach proceeded to tie up into knots as her body tensed so bad she could feel herself shaking. Another slow exhale as she waited just out of sight of the audience, eyes trained on Bianca, who greeted the crowd with a sharp tongue and bantered back and forth with the DJ with ease. 

This was exactly what she’d wanted. She had to talk herself out of the crushing disappointment when it appeared she wasn’t going to get it. They’d offered to pay Bianca to open for Adore’s show when she had declined, saying she’d already been booked that night.  
And now, here she was – doing exactly what she’d been asked to do months prior.

The pessimistic would say that Bianca was only there to continue a public association with a drag queen who had a wider audience than her own (and they’d probably be half right), but Adore saw the gesture as far more genuine than just an opportunity for publicity.

I’m just here because I like you.

The sentiment was there and Adore decisively took solace in it so she could calm the sudden bout of ill-timed and overwhelming cocktail of emotions. Bianca was here – willing to make her night longer than it needed to be – for free.

Ten minutes up, Bianca introduced Adore, and as Adore neared the stairs to the stage, Bianca passed off the mic, covering it with her hand and whispering, “You okay?”

A brave smile turned sultry with a bite to her lip and Adore shot back the ever-ready “party” before tightening her grip onto the mic and taking the stage, swagger restored and ready to show New York City that she deserved much more than what she had so far – and that she wasn’t going to stop until she got it.

* * *

The rest of the night had been a bit of a blur.

Danny had met back up with Roy after they both got out of drag and they took a cab ride back to Roy’s still very small (even smaller than Danny had initially remembered) apartment, which led to a half hearted make-out session that had stripped them both to nothing in Roy’s bed. They gave up on anything else, realizing that the pre-existing exhaustion was stronger than their want for sex, each promising the other a quickie first thing in the morning, and falling asleep side by side.

And now, Danny woke up in the very familiar position of naked and alone in bed with Roy no where in sight. He groaned a bit and buried his face into a pillow, blocking out the sunlight that filtered through half closed blinds. “Fuck…” he murmured and grumbled a string of incoherent sentences about needing to take care of himself. His hand reached downwards before he was startled from his thoughts, whipping his head up to see Roy standing at the foot of the bed.

“You’re dressed,” Danny croaked out, untangling himself from the blankets and crawling towards the other, sitting at the edge of the bed and reaching out to grab Roy’s shirt, wrapping the fabric up in his fist and pulling him close. “You’re out of bed and you’re dressed…”

“I had things I had to do…” Roy remarked before Danny’s hands slipped up under his shirt and touched his bare skin. He moved his head to the side as insistent lips pressed to his neck.

“You didn’t think I was one of them?”

“You were on my list... somewhere…” Roy grunted as he hit the bed, coerced onto his back by Danny’s exuberance. He pressed his palms to Danny’s thighs as they straddled him, a smile ghosting his lips as Danny’s fingers began to play with his hair. The kisses that followed were light and quick, nails lightly grazing the back of his neck causing him to arch up a little to meet the body above him. “No good trade on the road?”

Danny sucked in a breath and shook his head before he sat up and sighed heavily. “I mean, it was okay but…” he slipped his hands underneath Roy’s shirt again, fully intent on ridding him of it. Roy lifted himself up enough to get it over his head and soon it was joining Danny’s clothes from the night before. “Kind of want you now that I’ve got you…” Danny paused and bit his lip. “Unless… you know… you’re not into…”

“Shut up.”

There was a clatter as Roy caught himself on the nightstand to keep from completely toppling onto the floor when they switched places. Danny muffled his fit of laughter into Roy’s arm, muttering something about how the bed barely fit two people.

“This apartment barely fits two people. Now, shut up.”

“I don’t know why but I could have sworn this place was big..g-_oh fuck_!”

Danny’s choked on his words, hands back in Roy’s hair, trying not to pull at it as Roy’s lips wrapped around the head of his cock. With another whimpered ‘fuck’, Danny lost focus on everything else except for the hands on his hips and the mouth and tongue that already knew him.

His heart hammered and he blinked a few times as he gulped down oxygen he felt he’d been deprived of (he hadn’t). He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position as Roy got up and wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. His head was foggy and his brain cells were so busy trying to remember how to properly function when he barely slurred out, “Wh’re y’goin’?”

“No where, scoot over.”

Danny pushed himself over before pressing himself to Roy’s side the moment he could. His index finger traced lazy patterns down Roy’s chest as he molded himself to the body beside him. Lips to his neck, Danny could feel Roy swallow followed by a short gasp as Danny’s hand slipped past the waistband of his sweatpants. 

“Should I stop?”

“Don’t you fucking dare…”

Roy grasped at Danny’s forearm, head thrown back as Danny jerked him off, “Or what?” he teased, teeth against Roy’s skin, grinning as the man at his mercy floundered at a coherent sentence. He liked this. He liked seeing Roy like this. Messy, dishevelled, and completely at his mercy. His hand slowed and he pulled it back, snickering at the low, irritated growl that emitted from Roy’s throat.

“What the fuck do you want?”

Danny offered a one shoulder shrug, pecking Roy on the cheek, before he resumed his original intention to get him off. There was only a moment of basking in the afterglow before Roy, predictably, rolled away and got up shortly after. Danny groaned into his pillow before he lifted his eyes to see Roy already standing and changing his clothes.

“You know, I’d love you to fucking stay still for like… a minute. Maybe.”

“Do you want breakfast?”

“Yes?”

“Then get up and get dressed.”

* * *

Danny sat with one leg under him, leaning back against the wall with his mind wandering. His eyes trailed back to Roy sitting across from him, sipping coffee as they waited for their order. He pressed his lips into a tight line before he pushed himself forward to rest his elbows on the table.

“So you have one show tonight… and then…?”

Roy’s lips twitched a bit before he finally formed a full smile, tilting his head. “I’m free for the next couple of days until you leave.”

“Aw! You actually took time off for me!”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

Danny’s smile just brightened before he leaned forward. “Too late. You already told me you like me.”

Roy just rolled his eyes, “Then don’t make me change my mind.”

The smile turned smug before Danny slouched back, nudging Roy’s leg with his foot. “Thanks for the morning blow jo –” his sentence stalled with a snort as their waiter brought them their breakfast, Roy keeping his mug poised to his lips as he tried to compose himself. He lowered it just enough to offer a quiet thank you, pointedly ignoring the beet red blush on the waiter’s face that implied he had been eavesdropping unintentionally. They both waited until the unwitting third party of their conversation had excused himself with a nod before erupting into hissed snickers and high pitched giggles.

“We’re going to have to tip him well so he can pay for therapy now.”

“Oh please, I’m sure he’s heard worse things. Who knows, he might use it to get off.”

“Don’t make it weird.”

“Who’s making it weird? You’re not bad looking and you give great head. Take the compliment.”

“Not bad looking?”

“Oh my god!” Danny groaned loudly, before lightly kicking at Roy’s shin. “Is there no pleasing you? You’re hot as hell. How about that?”

“Wouldn’t go that far.”

Danny glared at Roy, who was still smirking behind his coffee mug, before he tossed his straw wrapper at his face. “I hate you.” He pouted at Roy’s laugh before they both settled into eating their breakfast, the clink of silverware to plates and the surrounding diner chatter humming around them filling the prolonged silence between them.

Roy broke it first, after about seven minutes. He folded his hands under his chin, fork dangling between his fingers and leaned forward a little. “So what was so bad that got you eager to jump on my dick?”

Danny slowed in his chewing, frowning a little at his breakfast but not lifting his eyes to meet Roy’s. “We don’t have to fuck if you don’t want to...”

“That’s not what I’m asking and you know it.”

Danny shrugged a shoulder before he finally leaned back, lightly tapping his fork against the side of his plate. He twisted his lips and stared off into space for a moment before he was able to settle on a truthful response. “Nothing specific it’s just…” he inhaled through his nose before shifting in his seat and squinting at nothing, “It’s just nice to be around someone who knows me, you know?”

Roy raised his eyebrows in thought before nodding in agreement, “Yeah, sure.”

“Like… I don’t need to hand you some lengthy instruction manual on how to get me off… and okay…” Danny sighed heavily before he leaned forward on his elbows and looked at Roy in the eye, “Since when has kissing during sex been some serious thing? It’s not like I want to be your soulmate, I just_ like kissing_. Why am I the weird one?” 

He shifted forward waving off Roy’s questioning glance, “It happened a couple of times. Like, I was hooking up with a guy in Chicago and he just flat out refused saying that it’s just a quick fuck, not our honeymoon and it’s just… ugh. I fucking know that but it’s just kissing! It feels good! I thought that was the fucking point! You know what I mean?” He sighed when Roy nodded before poking at his food again with his fork. “It’s just nice to be around someone who seems to get that. You don’t mind kissing me, right?”

Roy laughed and shook his head in response, “No. I would say something if I did.”

Danny smiled and leaned in closer, “See? That’s why I like being around you.”

“So we’re friends because I’m willing to kiss you while we fuck?”

“Exactly.”

“That seems healthy.”

Danny took a bite of food and spoke around it as he pointed his fork in Roy’s direction, “Hey. Don’t joke. I’m probably the healthiest relationship you have right now.”

Roy snorted before he took a sip of his coffee and nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

* * *

Danny had opted to stay at Roy’s apartment by himself. After Roy set him up with a pizza before leaving, he busied himself with getting acquainted with Roy’s two Chihuahuas while poking around his movie collection as some reality show on cable television played in the background. When that failed to yield any kind of interest, he’d taken to snooping around the internet.

He’d become best friends with Sammy and Dede by the time Roy had returned, still dressed as Bianca and obviously tired. Danny looked up from his phone from where he was stretched out on the sofa, propping himself up on his elbows and smiling. “Hey, sexy.”

Bianca responded with a weak smile and a heavy sigh, kicking off her heels, which she promptly collected and carried with her to the bathroom. Danny heard the light click on before he got up and followed, leaned against the bathroom door and watched as Bianca was slowly shed, wig removed first. “Rough night?”

Roy didn’t reply, a quick look shot over his shoulder before he proceeded to unzip his dress.

Danny took two steps to close their distance, placing his hands on Bianca’s (Roy’s) waist and the reaction was instant. The sudden posture change was the first thing Danny noticed, Roy’s spine stiffening so fast that it sent a chill down Danny’s own. He pulled back just as his lips grazed the back of Roy’s neck. The clear and clipped ‘don’t’ broke through the silence and made Danny retreat even faster. It was firm and decisive, with no hint of hurt or remorse, just a simple ‘don’t’ that commanded to be honored.

And Danny meant to just say sorry, and leave him alone, but instead the inquisitive “Why?” slipped out before he had a chance to stop it.

He watched painted eyebrows shoot upwards in the reflection of the mirror before Roy turned to face him with a frown. “I don’t fuck in drag,” he stated, removing each earring and tossing them in a small tray that was perched precariously on the ledge of the sink.

“Why not?”

Danny inwardly cringed as his curiosity guided his mouth. His embarrassment blistered under a heated glare that was softened only by a soft scoff and smirk that offered the same level of comfort as a towel doused in hot water.

“I’m a gay man who has sex with other men. Not that difficult to understand.”

He averted his eyes as Roy turned back to the mirror, lifting his finger to trace patterns in the wall tile. His heart hammered in his throat and threatened to choke him all the while. “I don’t think everything can be that…” he faltered a bit for a word. He dug into his mind for all the times he’d discussed this very same thing with Shane before he finally settled on, “… concrete? I mean… I’m not.”

The implications weren’t lost on Roy, who paused in undressing to mutter, “Then that’s an issue, isn’t it?”

Danny scratched at the grout as he shot a steely “You’re such a dick” back in Roy’s direction. They both stood in silence as the levity that usually accompanied that sentiment was absent. When Roy didn’t offer a response, Danny sucked in a breath and continued, “And I wasn’t after sex this time. Not that it matters.”

“Then what were you after?”

Danny shrugged and cleared his throat before crossing his arms to his chest. “Maybe I just…” He paused a bit before backpedalling to the beginning of his own sentence to give some more context. “You’re always so put together. As Bianca, I mean. Everything is together and in place…”

“It’s called being a professional. Should try it sometime.”

“Oh fuck you,” Danny snapped, “I just finished doing a five city tour after successfully raising money for an EP. What have you done?”

It was harsh, but Danny wanted it to sting. Roy was struck into silence again before he elbowed his way past Danny to his bedroom for a change of clothes. Danny stayed put, raising his voice a little so Roy could hear him.

“That’s not the point, though!” He let his head fall back and closed his eyes as he tried to form his thoughts into tangible words that he could properly voice. He swallowed against the tightening of his throat as Roy’s words burned his eyes. 

_Then that’s an issue, isn’t it?_

It disrupted his thoughts and he swiped at his eye with a thumb before exhaling heavily through his nose to keep his breathing steady. With a half hearted attempt to cough and regain himself, he found his voice, cracked as it was, and did his best to keep it at a level pitch. “You’ve made Bianca into this… untouchable thing… and there’s this destructive part of me that just… I don’t want to fuck you in drag, okay? I just… you have everything together and in place and controlled… and I just … I want to take that apart.”

He pushed his hands into his hair and pressed his palms against his eyes. He didn’t even hear Roy return to his side until the other spoke.

“Are you fucking crying over this?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Danny stayed put, pressed against Roy’s bathroom wall with Roy leaning against the door jamb next to his shoulder. He jerked his head away from the hand that reached out to touch his cheek and it was dropped immediately. The sigh that followed was heavy with a soft apology that remained unspoken. Instead, and true to form, a harsh joke was made in its place.

“If you think this is having everything together then we really need to have a talk about your standards…” Roy trailed at Danny’s eye roll before he elaborated. “Seriously. Look at me. I dress up as a clown in pantyhose on a near nightly basis so I can pay for a fucking shoebox with indoor plumbing. I’m not living some glamorous life here.”

“Professional clown.”

“Professional clown is still a clown. This isn’t a dream, Danny. This is just a job.”

Danny took a few swipes at his cheeks with his fingers before he finally forced himself to look at Roy – Bianca’s face still in place. His mind swam with accusations and questions before he silenced them all with a finger to correct the smallest smudge of lipstick. “Hold still,” he whispered before taking a careless swipe of his thumb across Roy’s painted red lips and made the smudge worse, dragging it to a dimpled cheek as Roy cracked his first genuine smile of the night and pulled his head away. 

“Cunt!”

“No no no!” Danny cooed as he took steps to follow Roy’s retreat. “Let me fix it! Let me fix it…” He swiped his whole palm over Roy’s mouth before wiping it onto his other cheek. In the midst of their giggling, Roy held up his finger in retreat.

“Hold on! No… Hold it! Break these lashes and I will sell your kidneys to buy new ones.”

Danny stayed close and waited for the okay. On Roy’s word, his assault on his make-up continued. Using his fingers, he continued to smear and smudge at Roy’s heavily painted eyes, pushing his eyebrows into dark blurs up his forehead. Once he was done, Roy handed him his make-up remover. 

With a sure and gentle hand, Danny began to wipe away the remains of Bianca. He battled through layers of shadow and powder and foundation to find the skin hiding beneath. He took his time, filling the quiet with a soft song that didn’t have words yet, just a melody that was barely above a whisper. Roy didn’t comment, just kept his eyes closed and his breath steady, patient as ever, even when Danny’s hand slowed and his pauses got longer. Danny knew he shouldn’t have expected any less in the end, but he felt obligated to be surprised. 

He stopped singing and muttered an ‘okay’ when he was done. Looking down at his stained hands, he accepted the small towel that Roy gave him after he’d rinsed his face. He murmured his thanks and retreated backwards, taking a turn towards Roy’s living room. 

“You don’t have to sleep out there, you know.”

Danny shrugged as he cobbled together a suitable bed out of the couch under Roy’s watchful eye. “You’ve had a long night, and that bed isn’t really made for the two people. I can stay out here. It’s fine.”

Danny could tell from the way Roy lingered that he wanted to finish their conversation and he was trying to figure out what he could say. He waited in silence and when nothing readily came, he flopped on the couch and offered his cheeriest ‘good night’.

Roy took the hint, responded in kind, and turned towards his bedroom. Danny waited to hear the soft click of the bedroom door closing before he sunk fully into the couch and closed his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still writing, I promise. Life is just now starting to calm down so I can do this again. Thank you for holding on.
> 
> In this chapter, Danny and Roy find themselves back in a familiar cycle, history repeats itself, and sometimes you have to take a few steps back to move forward.
> 
> The ever present warning for language, harsh truths, and more conversations that nobody wanted.

Danny tried his best to sleep through the clattering of dishes and general movement of Roy waking up in the morning, followed by the sound of a door shutting. He laid there quietly, staring at the wall across from him and thinking, quickly resuming his ruse by slamming his eyes shut the moment he heard the door knob rattle about thirty minutes later.

The cold dog nose and loud snuffling had been what finally broke him, causing him to open his eyes and coo at the tiny culprit. He looked up to see Roy sitting nearby with cup of coffee in hand. The leftover tension from the night before moved through the air like visible heat curling above sun beaten pavement, waiting for one of them to speak up first.

Of course it was Danny. He voiced the first thing that had come to mind – and he’d had most of the night to think about.

“I’m going to try to reschedule my flight… so… you know… I can, like, leave you alone.”

Roy physically paused at this, rapidly blinking as he seemed to process what Danny was actually saying. Finally, he set his coffee mug aside, turned his gaze to his sleep rumpled house guest and parted his lips to say something. Whatever it was halted before It passed his lips, as Roy bit it back and shook his head. They sat in another long stretch of silence before Roy finally settled on what was next.

“So that’s it?”

The tone was harsh and if Roy had paused to try to soften the blow, Danny vaguely wondered what he’d originally meant to say. Instead of trying to play dumb and prolong the inevitable, he made the clear cut decision to go ahead and get into this long-fused fight that had been lit last night.

“Yeah, I think that’s it. You made it clear last night about who you want to fuck. I told you that I don’t exactly fit that description and you called it an issue. So yeah. That’s it.” Roy’s scoff just spurred Danny further. “Well, isn’t it?”

“Sure, maybe if I was only interested in fucking you, but I didn’t clear my schedule for you to be a fucking asshole,” 

“Oh, I’m being the asshole here?” Danny flew upwards to crouch on his toes, still tangled in blankets, “You act like touching you in drag is some kind of threat to your manhood and I’m being an asshole. Got it.”

“Oh my _god_,” Roy rolled his eyes and stood up, retreating to the kitchen. “I’m not talking about our goddamn sex life! You’re wanting to call it quits on our entire friendship? Last I checked, removing the fucking benefits was always an option.”

“It was…”

“But only for you, right?”

Everything in Danny’s body tightened up and red painted his vision. He flung the pillow he’d been using at Roy, hitting him squarely in the chest. He could feel the frustrated tears collect in the corners of his eyes, but he stayed quiet, bowed his head and waited.

There was another extended pause before Roy sucked in a sharp inhale, bending down and picking up the pillow Danny had thrown at him. He tossed it next to Danny before taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch. One slow exhale later and Roy tried to drain the venom from his voice.

“Listen, I don’t want you to leave. I took time off to spend it with you because I like when we hang out. I mean, the sex is good and everything, but it’s not the only thing. If that’s all you wanted–”

“It’s not. I’m just…” Danny choked a bit on his words, not quite sure if he was ready to unknot the anxiety that had built up over this short tour. His heart seemed to throw itself against his sternum in one harsh thud before he swallowed thickly and used precious seconds to compose himself. He couldn’t unload all of it on Roy when the hurt ran deeper than a shrugged off advance from the night before. This wasn’t entirely Roy’s fault, after all. 

Danny was suddenly struck by their parting words in New Orleans. It felt like forever ago and so fresh at the same time, and the distinct feeling of the potential déjà vu wasn’t lost on him. “Forget it,” he remarked, deciding to delay the inevitable. He rubbed his face a little before he shot Roy a look, desperate to extend some kind of olive branch. “Can I ask you a favor?”

Roy seemed to contemplate whether he should allow Danny to change the subject so soon with the resolution hanging just out of reach. He did, and with another sigh, he nodded. “Yeah, okay. What?”

Danny got up and padded to his suitcase that laid on its side nearby. He rummaged through it and grabbed what looked to be just a scrap of fabric passing as a dress. Roy raised an eyebrow and took it as it was offered, turning it over in his hands. “It got torn up in Denver… not because of sex…” he added, rather unnecessarily, before he pointed to it. “Do you think you can fix it?”

“What’s there to fix? Just use it as a dish rag.”

“Please? It’s one of my favorite things I own.”

Roy sighed before he fully unfolded the dress in question, trying to assess the damage. He nodded and flipped it over before he got up and tossed it over to his small sewing corner. “Fine. Torn seam and a broken zipper. Both an easy fix.”

Danny stretched himself across the couch with a long drawn out ‘yay’, grabbing the pillow and wrapping his arms around it before grinning at Roy, “You’re a lifesaver.” His smile became genuine as Roy quipped back ‘far from’ and started to gather up what he would need. He muttered something about how Danny managed to both tear the dress and bust up the zipper, before Danny ignored him completely and changed topics.

“So who’d you take the dick pic for?”

Roy paused and raised an eyebrow, but didn’t look up from pinning the ripped seam. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The sly smile wasn’t lost on Danny, who smirked in return before he pointed at Roy accusingly.

“Nope. You don’t get to do that. That pic you sent me was second hand and I wanna know who it was for! Are you trying to fuck someone?”

“You’re asking me this now? It’s been months since I sent that to you.”

“It’s harder for you to lie and avoid the subject when we’re in the same room. Come on. Who are you trying to fuck? Is he cute?” Danny groaned at the way Roy tightened his lips into a smile and shook his head. “Come on! I’d tell you if you asked.”

“Classy.”

“You’re sending people a stock photo dick pic and you wanna judge me?” Danny snorted at Roy’s affronted expression, “You can’t take offense when it’s true!”

“And here you told me it was your favorite.”

“It is! Based on subject alone but the composition and framing need improvement.”

Roy quirked an eyebrow before he bit back the tail end of a giggle, “Who died and made you the dick pic expert?”

“I’m a genius at art things! Now who’s the guy you took that pic for originally? Are you still interested?”

Roy sighed, turning from where he sat to start rifling through his collection of thread to find one that would match the dress fabric, shaking his head. “That thing is old as fuck – take a shot at my age and you can kiss this dress good-bye, fucker –” He pointed at Danny accusingly, who lifted his hands in surrender and stayed quiet, save for the quiet ‘touchy’. “Shut up. Anyway… Whoever I took that for to begin with… I don’t fucking remember… but…” He closed his eyes and Danny perked with a grin, “I’m going to fucking regret this, but… I did meet someone not that long ago,” He shot Danny a look when the other started grinning and clapping, “We went on a… sort of… date a few weeks ago. It went fine.”

Danny’s face fell and he scrunched it up in confusion, “What the hell is a sort-of-date? It’s either a date or not a date. What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m fixing your dress.”

“Stop deflecting, or whatever, asshole. If I’m going to help you, you have to give me more than that!”

“I don’t need help…”

“You’re going on half dates with a guy you maybe like and – wait, you haven’t sent him that pic yet, have you?” Danny sighed in relief at Roy’s short ‘no’ before barrelling forward, “Thank Christ. You definitely need my help. Give me your phone.”

“No!”

“Fine! Then fess up – mysterious guy you went on a bullshit date with – are you still interested or not?”

Roy opened his mouth and hesitated before he nodded and sighed, “Yeah, okay. I’d… like to get to know him. But it’s… tricky.”

“Why?”

“Just… finding…”

“I swear to God, if you say it’s a time management thing, I will fucking strangle you,” Danny flung himself backwards into the couch with his fingers curled and his lip between his teeth before he started to laugh. “Honestly, man. You can make time for me when I live across the country but you can’t do the same for a guy who lives in a double-digit mile radius? What the fuck?”

“I take time for you because you live across the country...”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t take advantage of proximity because he might find someone with only a mediocre dick but better priorit–ta-sizing skills.”

“Look at you and your multiple syllables and vocabulary.”

“I know, right?”

“It’s pronounced ‘prioritizing’.”

“You know what? Fuck off. Fix my dress, you fucking cunt.”

Roy smirked at the way Danny flipped him off before he leaned back and started giggling – that high pitched, genuine laughter that emitted whenever he found something particularly funny – before shaking his head and muttering, “Stock photo dick pic,” as the joke finally caught up with him and he snickered, getting Danny’s grin to widen. “Nasty bitch.”

* * *

Danny never called to try to reschedule his flight. Instead, he stayed and Roy fixed his dress while he ate cold pizza. They chatted and goofed off, spending more time figuring out what to do with the day than actually doing much of anything. The day ended with the two of them settled on Roy’s couch and decided to go out tomorrow as Danny’s big farewell to the city.

It was while they were reclined on Roy’s sofa when Danny was roused from that limbo between awake and asleep by Roy scratching lightly at the base of his scalp. He made an appreciative groan before Roy husked softly in his ear. “Hey… I think we need to talk.”

The feeling of dread washed over Danny like ice water and he closed his eyes tightly before he shook his head. It took him a moment to find his voice before he whispered, “Do we?”

He felt Roy sigh above him and he shifted forward so they could both sit up. Side by side, they remained quiet before exchanging glances and Roy took the obviously uncomfortable position of drawing out what was going on.

“Okay…” he paused and regrouped before pushing forward again, “Okay, look. There’s something that’s bothering you and I have a feeling that it’s more than just a hook-up that wouldn’t make out with you. So… let’s do this. Let’s talk.”

Danny found himself squirming a little. That razor sharp focus that Roy usually reserved for work or sex was now back on him in a completely different context and it made his heart speed up and color rise to his cheeks. “It’s fine,” he insisted. “I’m… I’ll just talk to Shane when I get home… he’ll get it.”

Roy had turned, elbow to the back of the couch and his leg propped underneath him, fingers tapping rapidly against the couch cushions before he grimaced. Pressing his lips tight together, he ventured forward. “Yeah, okay…” Danny didn’t get a chance to breathe a sigh of relief before Roy tacked on, “… but I feel like I’m involved in this so… just… humor me.”

Danny fell back into the couch and slid his eyes to the side, away from Roy, as he tried to gather everything up so it wouldn’t rush out all at once. The knot in his gut worked its way up into his throat and threatened to strangle him before he finally spoke. “Do you…” he paused when he realized his voice was shaking too much. He shrugged off the hand that Roy offered, the weight on his shoulder bringing less of the intended comfort and more of what he was afraid of.

He folded his arms across his chest and stared at an empty spot on Roy’s wall before finally swallowing back the knot that was still crawling in his throat and finding his words. “Do you… tell… people that you’re a drag queen? You know… when you’re interested in them? Or do you just like… avoid it?”

Roy sucked in a breath of understanding and he held it there for a moment. He took to focusing on the spot of his wall that Danny seemed to be staring at. He didn’t answer right away, giving Danny time to elaborate.

“Because I know it’s a thing. I’ve always known that it’s a thing but… it never really fucking hit me until right now, you know? I know I’m not like… super manly or whatever and I just… it sucks. It just… sucks.”

They sat in silence and Roy pressed his lips tightly together as he pieced together what had gone unsaid in the gaps and pauses. Before he got the opportunity to form a proper response, however, Danny had already moved on.

“I don’t expect you to like… get it. It’s different for you. Your drag is… different. It means something different… I’m just… I’ve been really hurting and I took it out on you and I’m sorry.”

There was another pause and Danny felt exhausted. He sunk further into the couch, curling up into a ball and Roy was left to try to keep him from retreating into whatever dark place he’d conjured up.

“You’re right…” the admission jarred Danny from his electrically charged cloud of self loathing just enough for him to finally look at Roy. “You’re right and I don’t get it. Bianca’s just a uniform for me. Just a fun way to do a job… so I can’t… I can’t tell you how you’re feeling or offer any kind of help because this isn’t… that’s not who I am but…” He drummed his fingers against his knees before he finally seemed to settle on, “Whatever you figure out… is fine. Okay? Anyone who tries to tell you different is just… not worth your time.”

Danny sniffed a bit before he shot another look at Roy, offering up the smallest hint of a smile, “You won’t think lesser of me?”

“Trust me… I could not _possibly_ think lesser of you than I already do.”

He groaned as he got up and crawled to Roy’s side of the couch, collapsing against him and wrapping his arms around his middle, “You’re such an asshole!” His scream was muffled by Roy’s shirt and they both devolved into a fit of giggles and the balance between them began to level out and be restored.

* * *

It was Danny’s last night in New York and the uncertainty that crashed every last night between them hung heavier in the air than usual. They’d gone out, but ended up coming home early, both of them barely tipsy. And as Danny stared at the couch where he’d been camping, bags all packed beside it, something in his head seemed to click on before he turned and followed Roy to the bedroom.

Roy had just started to change, his shirt already discarded on the floor. He looked over his shoulder to see Danny leaning against the wall, eyelids heavy and hesitation trembling on his lips, before he reached out and pulled him into a hug.

It was tight and warm and made everything swirling in Danny’s head still for just a moment, just long enough for him to catch his breath for the first time in what felt like forever. He pressed his face to Roy’s shoulder before speaking softly against his skin.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Depends.”

“It’s about that… mystery guy. The one you like… Can you, like… try? More than just a half date and bullshit excuses. Just, like… try.”

Roy took a step back, pushing Danny’s hair from his face to look at him in the eye, making a show of considering the question with pursed lips and a thoughtful expression. “Mmmm….” He hummed before tilting his head side to side. “If you do something for me in return.”

“What?”

Roy cupped Danny’s face, thumbs lightly brushing against his cheekbones before he replied with every ounce of sincerity, “Don’t let yourself get too lonely.”

The sentiment was simple, but it still stripped Danny raw. Nevertheless, he promised and Roy agreed to uphold his side of the bargain as well. They stood still for another moment, Roy’s hands having dropped to Danny’s shoulders as Danny clutched onto Roy’s elbows, before they gently began to sway to some silent song created between them and fell into another hug.

“Hey…” Roy whispered, “I’m sorry, okay?”

Danny didn’t need to ask why, he just nodded. “I know, already.”

He cradled Roy’s temples between his palms, fingers in his hair and lips to his forehead, holding onto this moment for as long as he could, trying to prolong it before it slipped and tucked itself away between the messy pages of whatever it was that littered this chapter of their lives.

It was for the best, he told himself, for the both of them.

It had to be for the best.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NOTE THESE ARE THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR'S NOTES WHEN THIS WAS FIRST UPLOADED ON AQ - THIS CHAPTER AND CHAPTER 17 ARE THE LAST OF QUEUED UP CHAPTERS AS I FINISH THE FIC*
> 
> A/N: So. It’s been awhile, hey there, hi there, and hello. Now, here’s the deal of what is going down. This is not the original chapter 16 that I planned to give you guys and this chapter was not the chapter that I’ve been laboriously toiling away at for… an ungoldly number of months.
> 
> What happened was, the original chapter 16 was starting to climb into the 20 page mark. So for the sake of just about everyone, I had to split it up, and for the sake of giving you guys an update – I’m posting it now and I think I can promise you guys that you won’t be waiting another seven months for chapter 17. I hope you all can forgive me. Feel free to wander to my sideblog @kitschypixel and let me hear about it.
> 
> In this chapter, Danny deals with where they are now, Roy texts the wrong person, and Shane becomes the only audience to the mess that’s on the horizon – for now.
> 
> Warnings for language, sexually suggestive text messages, excessive alcoholism, and everyone’s a tease. Including me.

In the months following Danny’s return from New York, he and Roy barely spoke. Danny blamed a busy schedule, but there was an inexplicable bitterness that still clung onto his chest that he didn’t want to acknowledge. They’d left on good terms, he reasoned, so it shouldn’t be there.

“It’s that one rejection,” Shane remarked off hand as Danny reclined on his couch and tried to describe said feeling to someone who wasn’t himself, “Not to say that you’re the type to be mad at someone for saying ‘no’ to sex, it’s just the principle of the thing. You’re use to him giving you what you want…”

“Thanks a lot, Jiminy,” Danny drawled out, scowling a little at the thought, “So why do I still care? I mean… we talked about the whole thing. It should be good now.”

“First of all, that wasn’t a moral judgement, so that doesn’t make me your conscience. But, if we’re going to bring it up, I am far more qualified to be one than a cricket – who was horrible at his job to begin with, I might add! – and, my dear Danny, you don’t actually need me to explain to you why you still care, because you already know. You just don’t want to admit just how much you still crave his approval because that’s scary.”

“And you say you’d a better conscience than Jiminy…”

“I would be! Have you even watched that movie? Jiminy was promoted to conscience simply by being at the right place and the right time. Also? I’m right. You just need to listen to me better.”

“I don’t have anything to prove to him.”

“And you are absolutely right, now you just got to believe that.”

Danny started singing ‘When You Wish Upon a Star’ in response, mumbling over the words that he didn’t know, laughing at Shane’s glare in his direction all the while. The song dissolved into a mess of giggles and Danny curled up on his side, staring off into space for a minute before he pressed his lips together in a tight line.

“You think he’s dating that guy who keeps popping up in his feed?”

“Oh, totally. They are definitely fucking…” Shane tilted his head tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair. “You okay with that?”

“Honestly?” Danny hummed and pressed his fingers to his lip, a ghost of a smile dancing there before he turned back to Shane. “I really am. I mean… good for him, you know?” He waited a moment to see if that bitterness moved from his chest to bleed into what he was saying. There was a slight sense of relief when it didn’t. “Hey… if he can find someone, there’s hope for me, right?”

“There’s hope for us all!” Shane held his arms out wide in a dramatic gesture before grinning and settling back into his seat with a wistful sigh, crinkling his nose a little at nothing in particular. “Is it bad taste to start a betting pool on how long this is going to last?”

“Yup. How much do you have in it?”

“Ten.”

“Twenty.”

“High roller.”

“Let Courtney make out with me on camera in a hot tub and you could be too.”

Shane snorted before he reached over to search for his drink. “Is that your master plan? Peddle thinly veiled soft core lesbian porn as a music video for popularity?”

Danny grinned a bit, “Why not? It worked for Britney and Madonna,” he quipped before he crawled over to the side of the couch that was closer to where Shane was sitting, eyes wide and pout ready. “You know you want to be a skank with me~ee”

Shane tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression and glitter in his eyes before he hummed, “Is it going to be tasteful?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then I’m in!”

* * *

The first text Danny got from Roy was about a week after Jump the Gun made its debut on Youtube, and he was about 90% sure that it wasn’t meant for him.

_I’m fucking you so hard when I get there, you asshole._

Maybe 98%. Either way, he was not about to let the opportunity to give Roy shit for something pass, so he carefully considered his response before finally typing out,

_Wow. Promise? Let me buy a ticket real quick and I’ll meet you._

There was a predictably long pause and Danny continued to check his phone periodically for the inevitable response. He was getting caught up in a vortex of Youtube hell when his phone finally buzzed beside him. He smirked at the reply.

_That wasn’t for you._

Simplistic, definitive, and without further explanation – classic and in no way acceptable. He knew Roy knew it too, because there was a long sigh when Roy answered the follow-up phone call.

“You could have just texted me.”

“And miss hearing your sex voice? No chance in hell,” Danny grinned at the cracks in Roy’s softer than normal words, “Is he still there?”

“No. He just left.”

“Damn. No cuddle clause in your dating arrangements either?”

“Fuck off, we both have work in the morning,” the finality in his voice meant that Danny would have to try a lot harder than usual to pry anything further from him on that particular subject, so he opted not to try tonight. Instead, he let Roy take the lead. “So what’d you need?”

“Nothing, really,” Danny admitted, “Just needed to give you shit. Why does he get dirty text messages and not me?”

“We’re dating.”

“Rude. Does he get all your best dick pics too?” Danny laughed at the repeated ‘fuck off’ before he set his laptop aside to pick at the pilling on his sheets like some nervous school girl. He chewed on his lip before he finally spoke up again, “You know… I kind of missed hearing from you,” he managed. That bitter feeling, the one he’d been toting since he got back home, began to squirm a little, making his heart jump a few times. There was a pause and Danny waited anxiously for some kind of response to fill in the silent spaces. There was an uplifting hitch in the sigh that followed – a kind of half formed chuckle let out in a breath.

“Yeah,” he croaked before clearing his throat, “Shut up,” he remarked, cutting off Danny’s snickering, “Things kind of got… serious. Sorry.”

Danny bit back the snarky ‘no shit’ and kept the flippant ‘I figured’ from rolling off his tongue. Instead, he replied with a blissful, “Don’t be. You actually look happy.”

“And what about you?”

“Me? I’m…” A small smile started to curl as Danny pressed his lips together. He could feel his cheeks burn, which was a bit absurd, but no one was around to see it so he didn’t really care. “Can I get back to you on that?” His voice had pitched higher towards the end and he felt a bit giddy.

“Mmmhm… yeah, sure. Just enjoy yourself, kid.”

“Oh gross, don’t do that. It makes you sound old.”

The serenity broke with a cackle and Danny could hear the smile through the phone, “Fucking bitch.”

They chatted lightly before the conversation slowly petered out and left them with nothing left than to say ‘goodbye’. When they hung up, Danny shifted a few time, pressing his fingers just below his sternum to settle the butterflies that began to rustle around in his gut as he stared at his phone and opened up a freshly saved contact from the other night.

* * *

It was easy to talk to Roy when everything was fine. They didn’t talk everyday (they didn’t have time) but when they did it was nice. It was normal.

When things became decisively less fine and then spiraled down into absolutely miserable for Danny a few months later, talking to Roy wasn’t easy anymore. In fact, Danny found it downright agonizing. That leftover bit of bitterness that held onto his chest for months – the one that didn’t grow or begin to bite and just sat there benign but incredibly present – felt like it had lumped and hardened. He’d stopped following him on social media. Just for now. So it wouldn’t get worse and turn to jealousy as he saw Roy still be happy.

_Hey, are you okay?_

Danny hadn’t replied for fear of lying – or worse, telling the absolute truth and having Roy try desperately to turn it into a joke to make him smile. Instead, he clung to Shane in some kind of blind desperation to stay emotionally afloat. So far, it was allowed and led to Danny, curled up pathetically on Shane’s couch, consistently losing track of the drink that he never put down to begin with.

But Shane was beginning to start to grow weary from playing babysitter as he watched his friend stumble from the casual drinking, into the deeper the pits of alcoholism and whatever else Danny was finding comfort in these days. _Don’t judge_, he reminded himself, _you’re not his moral compass_. This had become his mantra whenever they spent time together.

He nudged Danny with his foot to see if he’d passed out yet. There was a drowsy ‘mmmm?’ in response.

“You know, he’s been asking me about you. He almost seems worried. It’s… weird.”

“Who?” Danny muttered as he tried to blink himself into some kind of semblance of consciousness.

“Your long distance husband.”

“Ugh…” He would have rolled his eyes if the thought of it hadn’t made him feel dizzy. “Shut up… we never acted married.”

“By whose definition?” Shane challenged. It wasn’t fair. Danny was at least three drinks ahead of Shane, which made it harder for him to argue. He settled on a weak ‘we didn’t’ as he tried to throw a decorative pillow at Shane and missed. Shane stared at the offending pillow for a minute before picking it up and holding it to his chest, looking thoughtful as he replied, “Well I would say ‘dad’… but given your history, that’s a bit gross.”

Danny erupted in what was probably his first giggle fit of the evening as he scrunched up his face and exclaimed a long, drawn out ‘ewwww’ and Shane replied in kind with a grimace, “Though I suppose making the comparison of spouse and parent similar is concerning within itself….”

“Oh my god, shut up…” Danny groaned as Shane quipped something about if Roy were there, he’d make a joke about it being kinky. He mimed gagging before waving his arms to try to get Shane to cease talking. “Ugh! No! All of that! No to all fucking that!” Danny flopped back and pressed his palms into his eyes, thinking the conversation was over before it was finally placed back on the tracks it’d derailed from when Shane quietly asked,

“So what do I tell him?”

“Huh?” Danny squinted a little as he tried to remember what they were talking about before he sighed heavily and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, “Oh… right… fuck.” He wiped his hand across his eyes before waving the whole thing off. “I’m fine.”

With a quiet, ‘right, okay’, Shane let the subject drop. His hands fidgeted for a moment before he finally picked up his phone, the wheels turning in his head a fraction slower, but still enough for him to start a plan.

_I think I’m going to need your help soon._

He hit send and waited, tapping short nails on the back of his phone as he watched Danny just curl up on himself, trying to cocoon into his jacket without much luck. The minutes rolled by before finally, there was a reply.

_What’s going on?_


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *THE AUTHOR NOTES ARE THE ORIGINAL NOTES WHEN THIS WAS POSTED ON AQ - THIS CHAPTER IS THE LAST CHAPTER I HAVE COMPLETED - I'M WORKING ON CHAPTER 18 BUT I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'LL BE DONE - HOLD TIGHT!*
> 
> A/N: THIS! This is the original chapter that I wanted to bring you but couldn’t because it just got too long. You’ve got your set up – here’s where the dominos fall. Huge special thanks to @veronicasanders for keeping me from going positively insane and helping me go through several edits of this monster and as always, feel free to hit me up on my sideblog @kitschypixel. If you’re lucky, sometimes I even take prompts.
> 
> In this chapter, time has passed and people move forward, but when you hit a roadblock, sometimes the person you want is the least qualified to help you. And then they show up anyway.
> 
> Warnings for language, implied drug use, broken hearts, nosy strangers, and a whole bunch of bullshit.

They were in Boston. 

Well, Courtney was fairly certain they were circling the gates of her own personal hell, but she supposed naming that ‘Boston’ would be good enough. She clutched her phone tightly, thumbs poised over the screen. She checked it regularly, trying not to seem frantic, as her teeth pressed to her bottom lip as she hung out with one of the local girls back stage.

She jerked her attention back to the conversation when her knee was light tapped. “We just met and you’re already holding out on me?” The Russian accent broke apart half way through the question and Courtney blinked a few times as she tried to translate until she realized it was already in English.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Your phone! You have like… a death grip. Do you have a… gentleman caller… lined up and ready to pound that pussy into oblivion?” The purr towards the end caused Courtney to laugh before she blew out a breath she forgot she was holding.

“God, I wish. No… I’m actually just waiting for a friend – an actual friend, that’s not a euphemism – anyway. I’m waiting for him to show up so he can take Adore to the hotel…”

“Ahhhh – is this about the – “ there was a couple of snorts and a vague gesture that Courtney felt wasn’t quite as universal as the queen across from her assumed, “you know. Whatever.”

Well, Courtney got the gist regardless and she nodded in response.

“Yes… I kind of wish I knew what it was…”

“Well,” Finger tips tapped across bright red lips as the disheveled blonde queen squinted in thought. “Do you remember what the guy looked like? You know, the one who did the offering?”

“Mmm… brunette. Square jaw… kind of that few days without shaving look… a bit over six foot with broad shoulders wearing very tight pants…” She watched as the queen nodded and hummed, “Does he sound familiar to you at all?”

“Hmmm?” She blinked the distant look from her eyes before shaking her head, “No. Honestly, I’m just really horny and he sounded like he could be hot.” She bit her lip in a very poor attempt to look at least a little chagrined before she burst with a hiss of snickers she couldn’t be bothered to hold back.

Courtney mentally noted that she should be far more irritated by the fruitless conversation, but she found herself laughing along with the hysteric giggles instead. It helped loosen her grip a little on her phone and get her mind to drift from the rather stressful week and a half of playing mom. “I’m sorry… I can’t remember your name…”

“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova,” she rattled off and punctuated with a snap. Courtney’s eyes crossed a little at the mouthful and tentatively started to repeat it back.

“Ye… yekata.. keta?”

“Katya” she interjected with wide grin.

“Thank god.”

“That works too!”

Both of their heads spun towards the door when it opened, and Katya groaned dramatically in disappointment. “False alarm, it’s just… that one,” she gestured towards the short goth queen that tried to slink in stealthily, only to nearly shut her own foot in the door.

“Hey!” The queen sniffed indignantly and Courtney greeted her with a soft and hesitant hello before she reintroduced herself “Laila.”

“Right. Sorry.” Courtney was answered with a shrug as Laila wandered over to where they were sitting and perched herself nearby. “How’s she doing out there?”

“Who? Our little drag star?” Laila batted her eyes with a dreamy sigh before cackling a bit and shrugged. “Jumped into the crowd to make out with some guy in the middle of a song and then when she tried to climb back up, she tripped and totally ate shit. It was kinda great.”

“Great…”

“As graceful as you are, I can see,” Katya jabbed lightly before Laila let out an exaggerated ‘hah!’ in response.

“I don’t have 100K followers so I can trip all I want and no one sees it.”

“It explains your tips.”

“You know what? Fuck you,” She wrinkled her nose and looked between the two queens before pointing to the phone Courtney still kept clutched in both hands. “What’s with the death grip?”

“Oh! We’re waiting for ~a man~” Katya dropped her voice into another husky growl before Courtney cleared her throat to interject.

“It’s…” She lifted one finger, taking a moment to pause before continuing her thought, “… not as suggestive as Katya makes it sound…”

“Is he hot?” Laila swung her legs a little, while Katya snapped a few times.

“Oh! Yes! Asking the real questions here!”

“No.” Courtney scoffed, almost like a reflex. She wrinkled her nose as she started to quickly backpedal with a sound akin to a deflating balloon, “eeee-weeeell… okay. I mean… he’s not ugly. He looks fine… so… yeah, okay he is kind of hot… like I wouldn’t say no if I didn’t know him… but… yeah, no. Okay… ummm….” She pressed her lips together tightly, “It’s complicated.”

“How is that compli–” the question got cut off when Courtney’s phone buzzed and she checked it with a sigh of relief before jumping up and spinning around to face the other two.

“Okay. He’s here. Behave! Especially you!” She pointed a finger at Katya who snapped at it with her teeth while making snarling noises. With another spin she darted towards the door, keeping it propped open with her back as she caught sight of Roy being let in through a nearby exit.

Courtney waved him over and wrapped him into a tight hug the second he was close enough with a soft ‘thank God’ punctuated by a deep inhale.

“Not God, but close… did you just sniff me?”

Courtney pressed her nails into his back, “No.”

“I think you did.”

“You know what? I’m not going to argue with you. I’m just glad you’re here. Come on.”

She pulled him into the dressing room, watching as Laila and Katya both perked up at his arrival. She didn’t have a chance to get another word out before Katya raised her hand.

“Excuse me, but how is this yes/no complicated hot?”

Roy’s eyebrows shot up and Courtney rolled her eyes before she gestured with her best Vanna White hands, “This is Roy,” she cut off the coy ‘hi Roy’s with a quick follow up. “And Bianca del Rio.”

“Oh? Oh. Oooooooh! Okay. Yes/no complicated it stays.”

Courtney pulled Roy off to the side as he still mused on the ‘yes/no complicated’. “Roy. Please. Focus.”

“I would but this doesn’t seem like the same kind of emergency you described over the phone. Where is she?”

“Adore?” Courtney waved in the general direction of the floor before she started to text rather rapidly, “She’s still on stage.”

Roy frowned at Courtney’s rather frantic texting, clutching the carry on bag slung over his shoulder close, trying to match up with what Courtney’s ominous message meant to him and what was actually going on. “So, she’s on stage? Then she’s okay. You made it sound like she was dying.”

“Not dead yet, but she’s trying,” Courtney held up a finger at Roy’s inquisitive ‘what the fuck does that mean?’ and closed her eyes to try to keep her thoughts from spiralling off into different directions. “She’s high.”

“Good for her. Think she’ll share?”

“Roy,” Courtney snapped and gave him a stern look, “I need you to be serious right now.”

“I am being serious! What the fuck is with you? Since when are you a prude?”

Courtney sucked in a breath and stared at Roy for a long moment, just to level out her increasing annoyance at his ignorance of the situation. He had re-routed his flight and delayed his trip to New Orleans (that he was taking with his boyfriend, she mentally noted) in order to come to Boston at her request out of the concern she’d raised about Adore’s current state. He wasn’t the type to fully understand this level of heartbreak, so she pressed her lips together tightly as she tried to find words he could comprehend.

Gathering up her last bit of patience, Courtney gripped Roy by the shoulders, looked him in the eye, and began to explain – slowly. “I’m not worried about the drugs. I’m worried about the motive,” the way his eyes shot up with a sigh was enough to register that he understood what she was implying, so she moved on. “She’s got one more song and an encore, but she’s so fucking out of it, who’s to really say… I’ve alerted our driver to be on standby to take you guys back to the hotel. I just need you to keep an eye on her.”

“Why me?”

“Because she really wants to see you… and if I try to handle it anymore, I might lose my entire mind.”

“Courtney needs a strong drink and a good dick?”

“Fuck you, but yes.”

She reached out and clamped his lips shut with the tips of her fingers as she heard Adore stumble through the door, palms clamping down on her shoulders as Adore struggled to keep upright. A hoarse laugh erupted with a quiet ‘sorry’ and Courtney forced a smile and a quiet ‘it’s fine’ as Adore breezed past them both. She wagered Adore wouldn’t even have been aware of either of them if she hadn’t tripped into them. So, she cleared her throat and raised her voice a little to catch her attention.

“Adore? Look who’s here!”

Courtney lightly slapped Roy’s shoulder when he winced at the shrill pitch of her voice and shot him a really good death glare when he grimaced as Adore came closer.

“Holy fuck… are you supposed to be here?” Roy still hadn’t turned around instead craning his neck a little far when Adore wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed her nose in the crook of his neck. “I thought you were supposed to be… to be… somewhere not here! What are you doing?”

“I… uh…” Roy looked to Courtney who shook her head and he faked a cough. Neither of them really had enough time to come up with a plausible story as to why Roy would be here and at this point, at least Roy assumed, that the truth wouldn’t be swallowed very well. So without a convincing lie, he was left floundering a little. He stopped just short of using his boyfriend as an excuse with another stern look before he finally settled, rather lamely with “I could swing it… so I’m here– wait, are you bleeding?”

Adore looked down and laughed, pointing at her knee, “Oh yeah! I need to get something for that…” She wandered over to Laila who was holding up a box of Band Aids, “Oh! They sparkle! Gimme!”

Roy got cut off from whatever smart remark he had loaded and ready by Courtney grabbing his elbows in a vice grip and a firm ‘don’t you dare’ with a growl in her voice and fire in her eyes.

“Careful, or people will know you’re a man,” Roy shot off, wrenching himself from her when she squeezed. “Owowowow!”

“I’m dead serious right now, Roy and I am begging – absolutely begging – for you to do your best to scrounge up a little self awareness and some empathy. _Please._”

“Are you sure she’s not dead? She smells like she’s rotting…”

“Roy!”

_“What?”_

Courtney shot a look to Adore, who was still fussing with… something… she couldn’t tell what before she grabbed Roy and steered him closer to the door, dropping her voice again. “Please. Just… do this.”

“Okay, fine… but she needs to like… bathe.”

“Well, if she drowns, that’s your responsibility.”

“Really?” Roy’s jaw dropped as he shot his own appalled look at Courtney, “Are you saying you wouldn’t help me hide the body? What kind of friend are you?”

“The kind that wouldn’t let a friend accidentally drown–”

“– who said it would be an accident?”

“Roy!” Another hiss. “Empathy! Please!”

“_Fine!_ I’ll drown her in empathy, how’s that? Now go get fucked before you become an even bigger bitch and I have two bodies I need to deal wiiiii – hi!” He slapped Courtney’s shoulder with the back of his hand when she snorted at the way his voice cracked and they both turned to face a blinking Adore. They all stood awkwardly before Courtney finally spoke up.

“So… um… Adore… Roy’s going to take you back to the hotel, okay? 

“Why?”

Roy quirked an eyebrow to see just how Courtney was going to spin this without sounding like she was trying to be Adore’s mother. It took a few long seconds before she finally managed, “Well… I mean… I figured you two might want some time to yourselves? Catch up? I mean.. It’s been… how long?”

Roy didn’t get to answer because Adore seemed to fold rather quickly, nodding quietly before offering a smile that failed to reach her eyes. “Yeah… you’re right. It has been awhile, hasn’t it?” She bit her bottom lip, eyes rolling back in thought before she shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll just get my stuff.”

Not much else was said, there was an “I told you” dancing across Courtney’s tongue but she managed to keep it bitten back. Roy and Adore left in silence but everyone in the room noticed the firm hand pressed in the small of Adore’s back as they did. Courtney sighed from relief, trying to shake off the lingering guilt for getting a little bit more involved than she probably should have – but in her defence, she hadn’t betrayed Adore’s trust outright. Roy still didn’t know the details as Courtney knew them, she’d kept the exact circumstances of her call close to her chest.

She was doing the right thing.

“That hug seemed to linger quite a long time…”

Courtney jumped with Katya at her shoulder and she closed her eyes. “It’d been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“And did he smell good?”

“He smelled _fantastic._”

Katya nodded sagely as she spun Courtney around, took her hands and patted at them gingerly, “Don’t worry, you’re in my hands now and I will take very good care of you. Do you like go-go boys?”

“Please.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Adore hit the bed hard with a groan, twisting up into a ball and just staring up at the ceiling. She waited for Roy to say something first and when he didn’t, just sighed. She held onto the silence until it started to become painful, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “So what’d Courtney tell you to get you here?”

She heard the hotel bed creak as he sat down near her at the foot of the bed, her eyes sliding to his back as she waited for him to answer. She watched as he rubbed his face before tilting his head slightly to the side. “She made it sound like it was pretty serious… so I said I’d meet you guys in Boston.”

“Okay but like… what’d she tell you?” Adore pushed herself up onto her side, staring down at the bedspread and tracing the pattern with her two index fingers, squinting a little at how the cheap, thin comforter rippled under her touch and the light scratching noise of her nails against the fabric. “Your… what’s his name… know you’re here?”

“She didn’t really tell me much, Dan–” he cut himself off with the way Adore’s lips twisted a little. The ‘sorry’ so quiet on the exhale, she was almost sure he didn’t say it.

“It’s fine, you know,” she replied anyway, pulling at her wig, “It doesn’t matter. Still me no matter what, right? Just a wig and make-up.”

The scoff was harsh and the way the pins pulled at the hair underneath as she tried to rip the wig off her head made her whine. She batted at his hands as he tried to help before he tried to soothe her with a very gentle “You’re making it worse, asshole. Hold still.”

She fidgeted as he finally finished unpinning the wig and pulled it off with a very soft ‘Christ’. Her eyes stayed on his face as he grimaced, running his hand over the tangled wig that reeked of sweat and stale perfume before he looked it over and asked, “You have a brush for this thing?”

Adore shook her head, “Too punk rock for that shit.”

“Right… and what about your own hair?”

Another shrug and Roy rolled his eyes before taking the empty ice bucket and flipping it upside down, using it as a temporary wig stand before he pointed to the bathroom. “Get up. Go. You’re disgusting. Go!” He waved her to the door until she finally stepped into the bathroom and she got a good look of herself in the mirror. Her hair was greasy and her scalp felt raw, and there were signs where she’d simply just sweated off her make-up and then reapplied for the past couple of nights. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Standing in the harsh white light of a hotel bathroom, she suddenly didn’t have the energy to really argue. She struggled out of most of her clothes before she turned to the bathtub. “It’s empty.”

“Good job, genius. It’s for the best. Get in.”

Rolling her eyes felt gritty, so she rubbed them instead and did as asked, knees bent, hands on the cold porcelain as she stared at the tile. She scratched a little at the grout before following it with the pad of her finger, pursing her lips and looking pensive as she followed the maze of lines.

The ice water hit her scalp first, ran down the back of her neck and down the center of her spine, making her suck in the myriad of curse words before expelling them in a string of very loud insults, “What the fuck, you rotted cunt? Shit!” 

“Keep your voice down. It’s three in the morning.”

Adore sputtered as a damp washcloth was dropped on her head. She took it and wrung it tightly in her hands, staring at it. “What the fuck am I doing?”

“Whore bath for a whore,” Roy spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as he sat down on the floor, with his back against the tub, setting aside the water glass with the sample sized shampoo and conditioner that had been displayed on the counter. He handed her the make-up wipes he’d found with them, giving her a place to start. She took the hint and removed her lashes, pressing them against the edge of the tub.

It took a moment for him to speak again, as she pouted and scrubbed at the layers of make-up on her face, and when he did – it made her pause.

“So what’d you take tonight?”

There was a twinge of curiosity that cancelled out the usual judgemental tone a question like that usually carried. But she acted as if it was still accusatory, just because she wanted to.

“What’s it matter? Sure it’s nothing compared to the shit you’ve done, right?”

She couldn’t see the way he pressed his lips together, but heard the way he clicked his tongue. “Yeah…” he remarked, slouching a bit and tilting his head back a bit. “Probably right…” Another click and he tilted his head to the side again. “I’m gonna offer you some advice, though…”

“I’m fine.”

“Fact that you smell like a stale bag of Fritos says different, now shut up…” he held up a finger before he sighed. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do, because this is your load of bullshit to deal with… but know what the fuck someone is giving you. Just… in case.”

Adore stared at the foundation streaked make-up wipe before she started to rub furiously at her eyes. “So Courm told you about Cleveland…” she squinted in thought before muttering, “Or was it Philly?”

“No.” Roy raised an eyebrow as he pulled the make-up wipe from her hands when she couldn’t seem to stop staring at it as she twisted it tightly one way and then another. Adore grasped at thin air a few times and then turned to face Roy, resting her chin on the edge of the tub and looked towards his face with wide, puppy-like eyes.

“Can you help me wet my hair?”

They both shuddered at that hollow, rubbery ‘flomp’ sound of skin sliding against the barely damp tub surface. Roy was still wincing as Adore got herself situated, followed by a sheepish ‘sorry’. “It’s fine,” Roy remarked before he turned on the facet to a slow trickle, palm pressing against Adore’s forehead to keep her from knocking it against the metal when she reared upwards when it made contact. “Careful! You don’t need a head injury, Jesus…”

“Are you trying to burn my scalp off now?” Adore seethed and Roy helped her sit up so he could check the water temperature.

“You’re lucky I’m not scrubbing you with Lysol, now quit complaining!” He got the temperature down to just below scalding before he helped Adore lean back again. Her eyes rolled upwards and she closed them for a moment, just letting his fingers press against her scalp before she started sniffling.

“You okay?”

The question sounded stiff and rehearsed with genuine concern bleeding through just enough to soften it.

“Yeah… yeah I’m just…” She sat back up slowly, pressing her fingers into her forehead before a sob burst forward. She sucked it back quickly, palms to her eyes as she forced out a laugh. A hand to her shoulder made her lift her head, and she took the small shampoo bottle that was offered. Clutching it in her fingers, she just stared at it as reality seemed to snap back with harsh lines and sharpened edges before blurring out with the tears that pooled in her eyes.

“You wanna pick an emotion, there?”

“Pathetic and embarrassed,” Adore blinked slowly, letting the tears fall before hiding her face with her knees.

“So normal. Good. I was almost worried.”

A soft giggle shuddered forward, weak and breathless. It made her chest hurt and her heart felt raw but that smile still managed to reach her eyes as she shook her head and hoarsely whispered, “You’re such a fucking dick.”

She lathered up her hair making it stand up straight before looking over at him again. “This would have been so much easier if you’d just let me take a normal shower.”

“Maybe,” he let her lean back, a hand shielding her eyes as he helped her rinse the shampoo from her hair, “But Courtney said she wouldn’t help me hide your body if you drowned, so I couldn’t take that risk.”

She dropped her jaw and looked appalled as she sat back up and sputtered, “You would hide my body? Why not call 911?”

“I’m not going to risk potentially going to jail just because your ex is an asshole… now tip your head back, you’re not done.”

Roy pressed the side of his hand to her forehead as he finished rinsing out her hair. She blinked upwards a few times before closing her eyes. “How do you know he was the asshole? Do you even know what happened or why we broke up? I could have been the one who like… cheated on him or whatever.”

“I know I’ve been busy, but I’m not completely oblivious and I know how social media works. I got the gist of what happened… please don’t start crying again, Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry! I’m sorry… I just…” Roy let her sit up and wipe at her eyes, still sniffling. He looked downward to the floor, letting her compose herself. She swiped her hands across her eyes before sniffling and offering a very weak smile, “You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“Yes. But not for what’s…” he made a vague gesture in her direction, “…going on right now…” He tossed a fluffy white towel at her and sighed. “Get out, dry off… find some clean clothes and I’ve got something to show you…” He paused a beat as he caught a very familiar spark in her eyes, “Before you say anything, let me ask you… do you really think it’s a good idea to crack a joke about my dick right now?”

“Well, not when you take the fun out of it like that.”

“Just get dressed.”

* * *

Drying off, and feeling kind of clean for the first time in probably four days, he looked in the mirror and saw… Danny. And with Danny came the ugly realization that he was a complete wreck of raw emotion and tangled up heartbreak that he’d been trying to ignore for all of these weeks and was doing a really piss poor job of doing so.

And he started crying again, before he even had a chance to stop it. He was sitting, doubled over, on the lid of the toilet with the towel balled up against his face when Roy came back to check what was taking him so long. His eyes were puffy, his face felt tight, and he was trying to wipe the snot from his nose as he caught sight of Roy loitering in the doorway, fingers tapping rapidly on either side, looking down at the floor.

“Think you’re going to make it or are you living in the bathroom now?”

Danny’s lips twitched and he leaned forward, reaching for Roy and wrapping the fabric of the man’s shirt in his fist before pulling him towards him. Roy complied, letting Danny close the gap between them to wrap his arms tightly around his middle.

“You smell good.”

“It’s called showering regularly. You should try it.”

“Be nice to me or I’ll cry.”

“Hah! Like that’s stopped you so far…” Danny closed his eyes and smiled as Roy lightly played with his hair, ruffling it as he took a step back. “Okay, seriously. This bathroom is making me depressed, can we go now?”

Danny nodded and used Roy to hoist himself back up onto his feet. He shuffled out of the bathroom to his suitcase, dug through it for some underwear and a clean t-shirt, and got dressed as Roy sat on the bed, back against the headboard. He crawled into bed, sliding across the comforter and curling up at Roy’s hip, arm across his lap.

“Sobering up a little?”

There was a non-committal grunt in reply before Danny rolled onto his back, pressed his fingers to his eyesockets for a moment and just stared up at the ceiling. “Fuck…” her muttered before closing his eyes tight. They burned a little from crying. He sniffled again before he finally managed to slide his focus back to Roy. “You said something about a present?”

“Yup,” Roy reached over and grabbed the small carry on bag he had with him and dug around it before producing a Ziploc bag that he tossed onto Danny’s chest. Danny pushed himself up on his elbows and squinted a little as he slowly sat up and opened the bag, removing the stack of papers – no. wait. photos – from inside.

“Oh my God…” He gasped and grinned as he recognized a few of them from Roy’s Facebook. “No way…” he started to rifle through them before his grin broke and softened into a genuine smile. “You brought me baby Bianca pictures?”

“I thought you might get a kick out of them.”

“Holy. Shit…” He couldn’t control the elated giggles, soft and raspy in pure delight as he flipped the photo in his hand over to look at the back. “They’re even dated, you fucking nerd!”

“I can take them back.”

“Noooo!” Danny whined and curved over them to shield the small pile he’d made with his body. “I’m looking!” 

He righted himself up and gathered his pile, flipping through each photo, pausing at the ones he hadn’t already seen. He let out a low whistle at one from Bianca’s Cher impersonating days, “Damn, you use to be fucking hot,” he lightly smacked Roy’s thigh at the answering scoff. “Shut up, you know you were hot…” He grinned at the way Roy’s lips twitched to one side and pointed, “See? You know.” He laughed when Roy fell silent and didn’t offer any argument.

Danny thumbed through the pile rather quickly, pausing at some of the photos. There was one he’d set aside to come back to once he got through the rest of the pile, leaving it out as he slid the rest of them back into the Ziploc bag and then handed it to Roy. “Tell me the story on that one…”

Roy raised an eyebrow as he took the photo in hand and tilted his head. Danny wrapped an arm around his middle again, chin on his shoulder and he smiled a little. “Not much to tell…” he mused. “It was… 2001, so I was still in New Orleans. It was a photoshoot that had two other queens… both of them were late as fuck…”

Danny hummed and smiled, “Let me guess… you were on time?” Roy offered him a side glance and a confirming nod, but nothing else before he cleared his throat and shrugged.

“But yeah. That’s really it. This was taken while we were waiting for them. Why do you ask?”

Danny shrugged one shoulder as Roy handed the photo back to him – Bianca looking off into the distance, dressed in white with black hair, the lighting soft and surreal. He took it back and cradled it in his hands. There was something ethereal and warm and very different from the heavy handed camp clown that Bianca had aged into. It made Danny’s heart skip a couple of beats and he held his breath for a second or two before he shrugged again and replied with a fresh smile. “You just look really beautiful, that’s all.”

“Then keep it.”

“Really?”

“What am I going to do with it? If you like it, just have it.”

Danny felt a weird flutter somewhere in his chest, a sense of relief that jumped around a couple times before settling back down and making him feel a little lighter. His smile got wider and sweeter before he leaned in, hugged him and kissed his cheek, before nuzzling his shoulder and sighing from content. “You’re the best. Thank you.”

“Mmhm.”

“I’m serious. Really. Thank you.”

“It’s just a photo, Danny.”

“No. It’s more than that and you know it.”

They sat in silence for a minute or two before Danny got up to put the photo under his phone so he wouldn’t forget it. He settled down, head on the pillow and looked up at Roy before asking, meekly, “Are you happy?”

Roy cocked his head to the side to consider the question, “Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

There was a long sigh before he gave up a nod and a very weak smile that didn’t quite tell everything. “It’s… not really easy right now, but overall? Yeah.”

“Are you in trouble for coming to visit me?”

“No. That’d be the last thing on the list of things I could be in trouble for…” his voice trailed and he shook his head at Danny’s perplexed expression, “I don’t want to get into it tonight.”

“Okay…”

“I’m serious, Danny.”

“Okay! I’m serious too. Subject dropped…” He couldn’t tell if he was being extra touchy just because of whatever leftover effects of… whatever it was that had been offered to him… or if it was just natural for him when he was this close to someone as familiar as Roy, but he found himself fiddling with the belt loop on Roy’s jeans, just picking at it and hooking his finger on it before little it go. Roy didn’t stop him and they stayed in another stretch of silence that Danny broke again.

“When do you have to leave?”

“In a few hours.”

“So if I fall asleep, you’ll probably be gone when I get up?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Use to it…” he trailed a bit and wrinkled his nose, “That wasn’t supposed to…”

“Nah. I get it. I know.”

Yet another pause in conversation and Danny started to settle further, “Hey…”

“Mmm?”

“Are you at least going to stay for those few hours?”

Roy nodded before he tilted his head to Danny. “Yeah. I can, if you want.”

“I want…” Danny closed one eye and wrinkled his nose again as he tried to piece together his next request, “Um… can you…? God, this sounds stupid and needy but…” he bit his lip, the words just not falling into place quite right. “Never mind…”

He turned onto his side, back to Roy, until he heard shuffling behind him. He turned over to see Roy settling under the hotel comforter, glasses off and hat removed, a hand under his head and eyes closed. He stared at him for a long moment before Roy cracked open one eye and waved Danny closer. “Stop gawking, asshole. If you want me to stay, I might as well get comfortable.”

The invitation was clear and Danny joined him under the covers, curling up to him and cuddling close. A single arm wrapped around him and one hand rested on his shoulder, that newly freed up spot in his chest filling with a comfortable warmth as he closed his eyes.

“Hey, Roy?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope things work out and you can stay happy.”

“Thanks.”

“Um… Roy?”

“What?”

Danny pressed a light kiss to Roy’s cheek again and whispered to his ear, “Thanks for showing up.”

“Well… it was either show up or listen to Courtney whine until this fucking tour was over, but you’re still welcome.”

Danny hummed and closed his eyes, halfway to sleep before he murmured one more time. “And Roy?”

“What now?”

“You’re so great.”

That got a laugh, a set of fingers pushing back his hair and lips to his forehead. “You’re not so bad yourself. Now get some sleep.”

There was a nearly inaudible ‘okay’ in reply as Danny finally managed to drift off comfortably for the first time in a number of nights that he’d lost count of.

And it wouldn’t be until he half woke up as Roy moved him with a whispered apology so he could gather his stuff – when he was still groggy and still full of sleep, with a cloudy brain and weighted limbs – that he latched onto the pillow that still smelled a little like Roy’s shampoo. It wouldn’t be until he croaked out a slurred ‘good-bye, I miss you’ to Roy’s whispered farewell and he heard the automatic lock on the hotel door click closed and he was finally left alone that a portion of his brain, one caught in between consciousness and sleep, in that sweet limbo where the blankets feel just right against your skin and the temperature in the room is just right and your buzzing brain feels at peace, that Danny could finally feel it.

That rotting, heavy, benign bitterness he’d been toting around for months had finally jarred loose and melted away and the sweet, warm content that had blossomed hours before had decided to take root.

He finally felt okay.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well. Hello. I realize it’s been a very long time. I’ve been busy and also? This chapter was just a pain for so many reasons. I hope it was worth the wait though! Many thanks to Veronica for looking over this and making sure it wasn’t just a garbled mess. Feel free to follow me @kitschypixel because sometimes I post stuff.
> 
> In this chapter, it’s time to face the aftermath of the night before, and everyone does a little bit of soul searching. Let’s talk about feelings, shall we?
> 
> No real warnings expect for the usual excessive swearing, references to drug use, and a reminder that everyone flirts with everyone.

Shane felt good. Nope. Shane felt _great_. Sated, satisfied, sensuous, salacious, showered. He felt it all right now and it was nothing short of fantastic. He hummed to himself as he leisurely walked down the hallway to Danny’s hotel room, his gait turning into a skip as he rushed to catch the very person he had to thank for his wonderful evening.

Roy lifted his head and instinctively wrapped an arm around as Shane bounded into him, chin to his shoulder and nose to his neck. “You’re chipper. Feel better?”

“Fan-tas-tic…” Shane purred before he pulled away and took Roy’s face in his palms. “You’re an angel.”

“Haven’t heard that one before,” Roy quipped, fingers tapping on Shane’s wrists. “I need to get going.”

Shane rolled his eyes and offered up a cheeky little grin that made his eyes sparkle a little with mischief. “Right. Of course. Don’t let me keep you.”

“It’s tempting,” Roy mused, just short of under his breath, flicking his eyes to Shane’s face to gauge his reaction. Shane shrugged, sparing Roy his opinion, smacking his lips together instead as he leaned back against the hotel door. Roy raised an eyebrow, “That it?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, right.”

Shane lifted his hands up in surrender. “Listen. If you want to spend the rest of your life with generic underwear model number 5, you certainly don’t have to fight for my blessing. Do what you want as long as you’re happy,” he paused for a beat, pursed his lips and tilted his head. “Are you happy?”

Roy stumbled a bit on his answer, which was still wrought with sarcasm, “Sunshine and roses.”

Shane snorted back a laugh before curling his upper lip over his teeth and clamping his mouth shut tight. He mulled it all over, taking in the way Roy dawdled about and searched for ways to extend the conversation. “Okay…” he hummed. “If you’re dead set on ruining my wonderful night by needing my opinion, let’s head to the lobby.”

“Oh please, you love giving your opinion…”

Shane flicked Roy lightly on the cheek in protest but said nothing else as they both headed to the elevator. Their trip to the lobby was quiet, and the conversation didn’t pick back up until Roy checked his phone, making a show at calculating how much time he had left.

“You could just not go, you know. Just stay here. We can find space for you in one of the rooms.”

“Choose Boston over New Orleans?”

“Or choose spending time with friends who care about you instead of some petulant brat who wants to make you something you already said you aren’t,” Shane shot back, which made Roy laugh as he sat back into one of the lobby sofas that was a bit too stiff and a bit too deep to be reasonably comfortable. He chose to slouch at an odd angle to keep his feet touching the ground as Shane curled up beside him, elbow on the cushion above Roy’s head.

“Tell me how you really feel.”

“That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? My expert advice on your shit relationship?” Shane asked with a smile and a few coy bats of his eyelashes. “Remind me what you did that prompted this rather sudden trip to New Orleans that just had to happen when two of your closest friends – one you’ve had a past sexual relationship with and the other you could have had if you weren’t such a coward – ah!” He reached out and pressed his finger to Roy’s lips and shushed the protest, “Don’t argue with me when I’m making a point. Which was… oh yes! Your sudden need to leave town because we were going to be in New York and wanted to see you.” He snapped his fingers and looked heavenward. “A small vacation in your home town just seems like a very big apologetic gesture for you… and for what? Getting jerked off by some stranger in a bar bathroom?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘cheating’,” Roy remarked as he stared blankly at the exit, suddenly reconsidering if he should have stayed for this.

“Cheating? I’m sorry, did you actually promise to be exclusive with this one? You never do that.”

“I… no. It was just… eventually assumed,” Roy closed his eyes to ignore the sharp ‘by him’ that Shane inserted before continuing, “I was hoping this would work.”

“Why? Do you actually see a future with this guy?”

Roy shrugged a shoulder, whispering a soft ‘probably not’.

“Mmm… okay.” Roy shifted a bit as Shane seemed to absent-mindedly play with his hair, the pads of his fingers brushing his ear in a way that Roy was fine with. “You wanna know what I think?” Shane grinned at Roy’s eye roll. “I think you can find better ways to spend your time than trying to keep up with some young trade that’s… what? Ten years younger? Who you’re just going to get bored with because he wants to challenge you in all the wrong ways.”

“I’ve been with younger.”

“Yeah, I know. They’re sleeping upstairs. Also? Not my point.” Shane frowned as he tilted his head. “Be honest with me. Why try to make this work? Why do you even want to? You’re not exactly the long term relationship type. Is it about sex, loneliness? What?”

Roy jerked his head away slightly to shimmy upwards so his back could be a little straighter. He pressed his lips tightly together to delay speaking for just a few more minutes and Shane began to think he just wasn’t going to answer. Then, slowly, with a voice uncharacteristically soft, he replied, “I don’t want to be that guy–” he gestured upwards before Shane got a chance to implore further. “The guy who does that to someone.”

Shane’s lips twitched into a smile as the pieces to Roy’s predicament started to click together and he shook his head. “Well look at you, growing a conscience… and you can’t even do that right.” He ignored Roy’s scoff and continued, talking over any argument that Roy had ready, “You are not the same as Danny’s ex. You didn’t make promises and you didn’t lie when you got caught breaking them. You just did what you always do. You decided to like a guy, got bored, and fessed up. You don’t need to make yourself miserable with someone who wants some different version of you to prove yourself. Some of us like you just the way you are.”

Roy wrinkled his nose a bit, pressing his tongue to the side of his cheek before he sat back up and stretched, cracking his back. “Well… that was gross and sappy.”

“You wanted my opinion!”

“Yeah. I thought you were going to be an asshole. Not pull this Mr. Rogers shit.”

Shane lightly swatted Roy on the arm, “See if I help you again then, you dusty old cunt!”

Roy caught Shane’s hand and pulled him forward into some kind of half hug, index finger to his chin as he released him. His eyes sparkled with a look that stirred up memories of flirting during fittings and the exchange of phone numbers from years ago. Shane squirmed a little and in a flash, it was gone as Roy broke away and gathered himself up to finally leave.

“Are you going to make your flight?”

Roy shook his head, a strange smile playing at the edge of his lips as he slung his carry on bag over his shoulder, “What flight?”

Shane’s eyes widened as he caught on quick, “Ahhhh,” he held up a finger and aimed it towards Roy, whose smile only turned into a wicked little smirk as if he was the most clever person in the world, “You never had to re-route a flight, did you?” Roy shook his head, “Because you two have already broken up.” A nod. Shane lifted his foot in a poorly executed kick in Roy’s direction, barely brushing his knee. “When?”

“After you called. We had a fight. I _might’ve_ told him he wouldn’t be so insecure if he put out more. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s a bit of a blur.”

“You’re such a dick.”

“Yes, well…” Roy just made a vague hand gesture into the wind and shrugged the whole thing off. “Don’t tell him, okay?”

“What? That you’re a dick? I’m pretty sure he already knows, but I’ll pull it from the newsletter.”

Roy rolled his eyes and shook his head, “No. I mean… you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Shane leaned forward with his chin on his knuckles and an angelic smile on his face, “Your secret’s safe for now. Go. Be a free, single man! Even though you could easily just stay here and be free and single with us.”

“Can’t. I do have an actual ride back that I need to get to before he leaves without me.”

“Ooooh, what kind of ride? Do I know him? Is he cute?”

“None of your fucking business!”

“So you should introduce me!”

“You wish!”

Shane blew a kiss and winked from where he was still perched as Roy retreated towards the door with a cackle and a middle finger. Shane watched him disappear, blinking a few times when he realized he was biting lightly at his bottom lip and wiped the slightly goofy grin from his face. He cleared his throat and looked upwards before making his way back to Danny’s room to provide a much needed wake-up call.

* * *

The first thing Danny became aware of was the smell of a very familiar coconut-based body wash that seemed to wrap around him and make him smile. He groaned and dissolved into a fit of giggles seconds later, wiping at his cheek and craning his neck to grin at his new guest. “If you’re gonna use tongue to wake me, just give me a blow job.”

There was a light laugh and a soft hum as the arms around his waist loosened a little with a playful nip at his ear. “Crude but tempting. I’ll consider it for next time.”

“Finally,” Danny replied with a dreamy sigh before another set of giggles bubbled forward. He pulled away so he could turn over, facing a rather blissful Shane laying next to him. “You look happy.”

“I’m just relieved you got some proper sleep.”

“Shut up. You got dick.”

Shane wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out before sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. “Lady never tells.”

“Good thing you’re a slut. Fess up! Was he hot?”

“Gorgeous. Didn’t mind the drag either, which saved a lot of time for other things. Okay kisser, nice dick, great sex – very eager – and I still had time to shower before getting back here. Ideal night.”

“I’m glad Roy could give you the night off.” Danny shot a glance to Shane’s face and watched his reaction. Shane blinked and opened his mouth to possibly deny Danny’s insinuation before simply closing it and offering a quiet apology. He curled around Shane’s lap, cheek against his thigh, “I get it, I wasn’t being fair.”

“Mmm… he didn’t scar you for life or anything, did he?”

“Who? Roy?” Danny lifted his head a little as Shane hummed again in affirmation. “No,” Danny continued, pressing his lips tightly together before rolling onto his back and staring at the hotel ceiling. “He was actually not bad given… you know… the emotions.”

“I see he got you to wash your hair, though.”

“Ugh. He helped me wash it in the empty bathtub. It was so gross and humiliating. I cried about everything.” Danny paused for a beat to cringe, lip curling up in disgust with himself as the memories from the night before washed over him in a fresh, chilled wave of shame. He closed his eyes tightly and groaned, bringing his fingers to his eyes and pressing hard against them. “Fuck… I don’t know how I’m going to face him again.”

Shane reached over to gently wrap Danny’s freshly cleaned hair around the tip of his index finger before sighing, “He’s probably been in similar or worse circumstances, you know.”

“Yeah… funny how that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Danny spat out a little before he dropped his hand to his side and tilted his head a little to catch Shane’s slight eye roll. “Fuck. And I’m still being an asshole to you.”

“A bit, yeah…”

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Danny’s eyes combed through the rather passive expression on Shane’s face – searching out an answer that the current silence wasn’t giving him before he propped himself up onto his elbows and groaned again. “Yeah, don’t answer that,” he muttered before he shimmied himself up slowly to sit upright, only to hunch forward and stare at himself in the obnoxiously large mirror that was across from them both.

The silence persisted until finally, Shane spoke up – slow and deliberate and delicate. “Question. Was it really that terrible to see him last night?”

“Yes!” Danny rolled his eyes, the light smile tempering the horror he still clutched to tightly. “I felt like such a child. You try getting a sponge bath from a guy you used to fuck, see how you feel.”

“Hot.”

“Oh fuck off. Don’t make it weird.”

“Mmm… think it’s a bit late for that.”

Danny pressed his middle finger to his temple, laughing in spite of himself before giving voice to a thought that’d laid dormant from when he first saw Roy again last night to now. “Hey… how’d you even get him here?”

“Oh, easy. I asked.”

“… so… you didn’t tell him about… was it Philly?”

“Cleveland.”

“Fuck. I knew it.”

“And no, I didn’t.” Shane sighed, reaching out to fuss with some stray strands of Danny’s hair. “I just told him I was worried. That’s all.” He tilted his head as he watched Danny visibly process the information. “You know how it is. You badger him enough and he can be reliable to a fault.”

Danny dropped the subject with a quiet, ‘yeah’, before shifting to the present with a few slow blinks and small shake to his head. “Made me realize this tour was a bad idea…” He picked up his phone and stared at it.

“You need a moment alone?”

“No..” Danny shifted so he could curl against Shane with the phone to his ear, finding an anchor as he waited for his tour manager to answer.

* * *

The months after Boston, Danny had been dealing with the aftermath – clawing out of rock bottom and facing the consequences. He’d been so busy trying to do damage control so he could pick up his tour once it was rescheduled that he neglected one little loose end that he knew he had to handle at some point.

Roy.

He’d been ignoring the text messages so far, not really ready to relive the humiliation of that night in the form of an apology he knew he owed. And when he saw Roy’s status on social media turn to “single”? Well… now he just felt guilty, as if he’d somehow been at fault (even if that was irrational).

So he’d gone through his day to day, checking his phone when a message pinged, trying to get his attention, and every time thinking “I should reply”, before overthinking it and then saying nothing at all. That is, until:

_Call me._

It was weird for Roy to be so blunt, and the more he looked at it, the more he began to panic a little. What if there was something serious? What if he was hurt or someone they knew was in the hospital? The number of scenarios running through Danny’s head as he stared at those two words got more and more outlandishly dire until finally…

“Hello?”

“You said ‘call me’, are you okay? Is someone dead? Do I need to fight someone? What happened?”

“No one’s dead. I just wanted to talk to you, calm down.”

Danny’s panic left him in a slow sigh as Roy started giggling through the phone, “Shut up! Everyone knows that ‘call me’ with a period means there’s like… someone’s dead and you might need an alibi level of emergency!”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone!”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, but everything is fine. Gotcha on the phone though.”

Danny sat still on his bed, squinting at nothing, just picturing the shit eating grin plastered on Roy’s face. “You fucking dick.”

There was a cackle on the other side, which helped break this weird tension in Danny’s chest as he started to recline back into his bed. Of course Roy would make it easy – for Danny to just slide past the consequences and back into the jokes and random rambling that kept them friends. No expectations of apologies or explanations. Just a reset button and a fresh start.

And Danny couldn’t do it.

He was quiet as Roy’s laughter petered out in soft little giggles, took a breath, and braced himself for ice water.

“Sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Eh,” Danny could hear Roy shuffle his phone from one ear to another, “It’s fine–”

“It’s not though!” Danny shot up and started to pace. “It was a shit thing to do…”

“Dan-”

“No! No. I… gotta do this.” He took a breath and sat back down, still fidgeting as he tried to focus on what he’d been trying to script for the past few months. When that failed, he winged it. “I was embarrassed that you like… showed up and saw me like that. It’s not your job to like… take care of me or whatever the fuck – and don’t say it’s no big deal because it fucking is! It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t cute, I was a fucking nightmare and – would you stop laughing for two seconds!?”

Roy’s giggles had started up again in the midst of Danny baring his soul – be it from disbelief, nerves from the seriousness of the moment, or maybe a mixture of the two. Danny could hear him clear his throat and take a pause before urging him to continue with a very soft ‘go on’.

“Thank you, what was I saying?”

“I think you were being way too harsh on yourself.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you figure that?”

There was another long pause and Danny could picture Roy’s hesitance. But Danny stood his ground. This conversation wasn’t going to end just because Roy didn’t want to have it.

“Everyone does stupid shit in the midst of a break-up. So maybe your stupid shit involved you getting high as fuck and not bathing for longer than usual. And maybe you fucking freaked out Courtney, which I guess freaked out me because – Jesus Christ – what were you taking that was freaking out Courtney of all people? So yeah, maybe I wasn’t overly thrilled to be like… hosing you down in a hotel bathroom because you were smelling like sweat and corn chips but… it happened. Because I was worried a little bit. Okay? So like… it’s fine.”

“But it’s not fine.”

“Did I just reset this conversation? What the fuck are you looking for?”

Danny groaned, biting his lip before heaving a huge sigh to finally put words towards something that had been weighing on him for months. “That trip… you coming to see me… you said you and what’s-his-face were… not fine, but like… going to be okay. Or you were making it work. Or… something. And then after… next thing I know, you guys broke up…”

“Okay? What about it?”

“Did you break up because you came to see me? Because I know he wasn’t really thrilled about like… our past or whatever and– and you’re fucking laughing again!”

Roy sucked back his giggles and with a high pitched ‘sorry’, allowed Danny to continue. Danny huffed and then blurted out the last part of his sentence, “Anyway, if you need me to talk to him, to like, tell him that nothing happened between us aside from me making an absolute ass out of myself, I can… or whatever.”

The cackles that erupted made Danny’s cheeks burn and he pouted at his phone. “Or you can just laugh at me!”

“No! No no no… okay. I’m sorry. Alright? I’m sorry for laughing. Hold on.” Roy sucked back a breath and let his voice settle after a few exaggerated renditions of “I’m not laughing at you.” As Danny was about to call bullshit, Roy had managed to wrestle his voice back to a natural pitch. “No! I’m serious. I’m not laughing at you. It has… nothing to do with you, really. Any of it.”

“Any of it?”

“Not a bit.”

“So… you mean… you didn’t break up because he was a jealous twat?”

“Oh, no. We broke up for that exact reason and then some, but it absolutely had nothing to do with me coming to see you.”

“Oh… so… when you said that things were going to be fine?”

“I don’t actually recall you asking if things were fine between me and him. You asked if I was happy. Those are two different things.”

Danny frowned as he tried his best to shuffle through the rather muddled events from that night, and upon coming up with nothing, he conceded. “I don’t remember now…”

“Right,” Roy remarked, the smile conveyed in his voice. “Is this what you’ve been torturing yourself with these past few months?”

“I… maybe?”

“Uh huh.” The silence between the both of them had settled and stretched, past the point of awkward into familiar, before finally, Roy spoke up again. “So… are we actually good now?”

“Yeah…”

“Great. So do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Can we take a break from talking about our feelings for like… awhile? Because frankly, it’s fucking exhausting. I’m not built for this bullshit.”

That got Danny to laugh, and amidst his giggles, he managed to voice an enthusiastic “Deal!” before they said their goodbyes.


End file.
